antithesisMonday, March 30, 2009
what do you do with old magazines?
i have plenty of past issues of glamour, vogue, instyle, essence, and harper's bazaar. i always say im going to randomly pick a few and draw inspiration for a new look for an upcoming outing. sometimes i do. most times i don't. why? 1. i usually dont know far enough in advance to do something like that, 2. for most things i dont care that much what i wear/how my makeup will turn out, and 3. stuff i do care about is so far spaced that i usually already have an idea in my head i wanna try should such an occassion arise.
i need to find something to do with them. something wont let me just toss 'em. i like how different mag covers are used as part of the background image for posts on mischo beauty.
antithesisFriday, March 27, 2009
i dont know how this could have happened. my life moves at a much faster pace than i tend to realize. this is one of a few weekends where i have nothing specific planned. stuff could either get done or not. so im layin in bed, not feeling well, and i look around and am disgusted by the way my room looks. clothes are everywhere and stuff is peeking at me from my closet.
i found clothes at the bottom of my closet i havent worn in years. there was also one item im certain i only wore once and forgot i had and if it had not been for this day would have purchased again. there is one bag that has been sort of a staple in my closet and until today, i didnt realize i had since 2000. i know i only carried this hideous thing once. my parents bought it for me and i felt bad that i didnt like it and wore it to school the next day and never again. why is that still here?
added to my list of to do will be a trip to target to get some of those stackable container drawer things. i knew that from a quick look around and seeing cosmetics and the like strewn about amongst magazines and school stuff. i refuse to buy anymore of those huge storage containers i had for college so, sadly, some clothes are just gonna have to go :(
antithesisWednesday, March 25, 2009
in this game of life, there are no substitutions. you can never ever make someone into someone they are not. "baby daddy" could not make me into his baby mama so he needed to go back to her. i understand that, but i wish he would have come to that conclusion before i lost that bet on the damn eagles game. in that same vain you can't make something out of nothing. you can't make love out of what is there if there is no love. for mr.klean there was none. none for me at least; he had plenty for himself. and HIM? maybe at one point there was but not anymore and never again.
i figured that they were something i would do until the real thing comes along. i was blocking my own blessings. how can anything come along when you're filling the space with inadequate substitutes? it's safer for me to be completely alone than to put up with what i know i don't want in a fruitless attempt to get the few things i do want. i have come to realize that none of these men have failed me. ive failed myself. they were just taking advantage of the situation. who wouldnt? if you saw anything of value just laying around and available, unclaimed, but it wasnt exactly to your taste, would you leave it there? would you be like, "that diamond is princess cut and i prefer emerald cut so imma just leave it there"?
antithesisTuesday, March 24, 2009
why wont we do better? because it's inconvenient to do so? i've never really led a life of convenience so i guess i have to start being inconvenient in every and all aspects. i wouldnt say i had a lapse in judgement. i knew exactly what i was doing/planning to do was wrong and i did it anyway. and so now i have to suffer the consequences. like all the other bullshit, i'll get over it.
i have no one to blame but myself. if i stop doing dumb shit, dumb shit and dumb people will stop happening to me. ok, maybe they wont stop but i can stop being affected by it.
i'm far too accepting and forgiving and accomodating. but people always say i'm mean. that's just their way to manipulate me and have me overcompensate for their inaccurate perception. fuck everybody. what people think about me is none of my business. the focus has now shifted to pleasing me.
does anyone remember the group project situation from last semester i ranted about? i dont know where that is so i cant link to it and i dont feel like searching but basically i was in this group where this idiot for no reason wanted to buy like 6 bags of candy for a class of 20 people and split the cost. so im takin a different class this semester and of course, said idiot is in there. we got assigned our partners for one of the presentations we have to do for this class and im sitting there the whole time like "please dont have me go last and please dont put me with 'idiot'". well we're last and we is me and idiot.
idiot wants to talk about the presentation as soon as we're partnered up. i dont know what you have this semester but i have shit that comes up before march, it is like january second. fall back, chick. anyway spring break rolls around and im like imma read the chapter over break because i dont have to go to work and im spending the first half of the week in pittsburgh and then nothing is planned after that. she said "me too". ok, great. i have the chapter read and email her right away. she doesnt read for another two days which is whatever. then i throw out some ideas because she emails me to let me know she's done and then doesnt say shit. i tell her i dont wanna be a carbon copy of the last 8 groups before us and she agreed. so then i ration out my ideas and just give her one and that only covers like a 3rd of the presentation and then she tells me some shit that i think is kinda dumb and im like "we could do that but". so then i just go ahead and tell her how i think the presentation should go and i leave some gaps so she can have SOME input. she emails me back with the exact same shit other groups have done. didnt we agree that shit was wack and we aint wanna repeat it? it's so overdone.
im frustrated as shit because im really tired of this semester, i have another presentation in this class among other just straight bullshit assignments for this one professor. im not in the mood to do all the work for a presentation with someone i dont wanna work with and i swear if candy comes up, imma smack her!
antithesisFriday, March 20, 2009
1. "Heartbreak" 1:08 2. "Did She Say" 3:23 3. "He Can't Love U" 4:04 4. "What You Tryin' to Do" 4:18 5. "Girl Is Mine" 4:21 6. "Healing" 3:42 7. "Let's Get Married" 4:23 8. "True Man" 4:58 9. "Can I Get with You" 4:02 10. "Promise" 4:08 11. "Keys to the Range" 3:48 12. "Lace You" 4:00
antithesisThursday, March 19, 2009
hold on, peter, because i'm gonna tell you all the things wrong with that statement- lois griffin
these people up and decided to get a dog. my mother said she wanted a dog last year and i said, "do what you want, but i'm in school and working so im not helping" and my dad said he wasnt gonna help either. then she got mad and was like she wanted to adopt a dog and the agency wasn't gonna let her if two people in the house didn't want it. fast-forward about 6 months and my parents just up and go somewhere without telling me (they would never have me do that. they would grill the shit outta me before i finished getting dressed). a few hours later, these geniuses return and i hear the un-mistakeable sound of claws on our hardwood floor. i thought, "oh, im trippin because that makes absolutely no sense for them to get a dog". why?
1. it's a recession and taking care of a dog aint cheap.
2. every other day they talk about getting a divorce. who gets a dog together?
3. there was no preparation; no treats, toys, collars, leashes, beds, food, or dishes were bought.
4. the people they got him from didnt bathe or groom him so that has to be done, ASAP. and preferably professionally.
5. i find it just a little rude to get the same kind of dog that i had when i was 9 who died.
6. they clearly gave no thought to a name for the thing. the people who had him before were calling him 'nemo' because the little girl was 5 and i guess he was her dog. my mother wants to call him 'sherlock' and that name absolutely sucks. i gave about 100 names better than 'sherlock' and she liked none of them. if that is his name i refuse to call him that.
antithesisWednesday, March 11, 2009
i was just notified that i didnt receive any merit-based assistance for the 09-10 school year. what do these people want from me? i have a 3.9 gpa, i work in housing, plus i have a work-study job. WTF?
antithesisTuesday, March 10, 2009
HIV/AIDS & Minority Women
(click the photo above for additional info and to visit rocktheredpump.com) ----------------------------------- HIV/AIDS disproportionately affects minority women in the United States. According to the 2005 census, Black and Latina women represent 24% of all US women combined, but account for 82% of the estimated total of AIDS diagnoses for women in 2005.
*the leading cause of death for black women (including African American women) aged 25–34 years.
*the 3rd leading cause of death for black women aged 35–44 years.
*the 4th leading cause of death for black women aged 45–54 years.
*the 4th leading cause of death for Latina women aged 35–44 years.
*The only diseases causing more deaths of women were cancer and heart disease
*The rate of AIDS diagnosis for black women was approximately 23 times the rate for white women and 4 times the rate for Latina women
*In 2006, teen girls represented 39% of AIDS cases reported among 13–19 year-olds. Black teens represented 69% of cases reported among 13–19 year-olds; Latino teens represented 19%
These statistics were pulled from The Center for Disease Control's website and the Kaiser Family Foundation's Fact Sheets (which cited the CDC). Get more information about the effect of the epidemic from these sites.
im rockin the red pump only symbolically because to do so in real life is completely not condusive to my schedule.
antithesisFriday, March 6, 2009
til march 15th you can get glamour magazine for a year for $1.50. that was their price 70 years ago when it all started. i like the mag. i used to get it for my flights back and forth between d.c. and the A. to get your subscription, see the right-hand side of my blog where it says 'sharing is caring'. happy reading!
antithesisThursday, March 5, 2009
i hate this question: are you dating anyone?
it's asked different ways but it just serves as a constant reminder that there is no special dude in my life. that's not a big problem but with an office manager and two classmates planning weddings, it gets to be a bit much. then you have those people whose comments are always prefaced with "my boyfriend..."
it's not so much that males suck in my life but it's that on top of the fact that i feel somehow abnormal for not being able to find someone and maintain a relationship. i feel like im always so close but then it doesnt happen. men dont like me and im not doin the women thing so... idk.
antithesisWednesday, March 4, 2009
i really dont know what to do with my hair. i want to cut it but im SCARED. i wanna get a relaxer, but im SCARED. i want to fully embrace the 'fro but im... well you get it. change is scary. i was nervous voting for obama.
i dont know what happened to me. this is the girl who at 17 wasnt scared to go from D.C. to A.T.L. for school not hardly knowin' nobody. i wanna be that girl again, just with what i know now.