do as i say, not as i do

Friday, January 29, 2010
when parents said that, that was the exact point i wished i was someone else who could punch them in the face. wtf? anyway, i talk a lot on this blog and in general about settling and accepting whomever and their bullshit. i talk about girls/women/ladies who accept crap out of dudes making them think that mess is ok to do to any member of the opposite sex. label me a hypocrite for continuing to fuck with non-bf.

let's be real, non-bf is not my ideal. he has a kid, which i shouldnt hold against him but i dont want to be step-mom. not saying we're on the path to get married because realistically, i cant see myself married to him. or anyone but still i dont see it with him and that should mean something. not everyone goes to college. one of my brothers didnt go and he does ok i guess but neither did non-bf and as im about to have a second degree, i kinda always saw myself with someone who at least had one.

im not an asshole so im able to let go of the shit i just mentioned and not let them weigh so heavily on the appraisal of our relationship. what i struggle with is on top of that, he has a fucked up attitude about some stuff and a pretty harsh sense of humor. the thing that gets me more than anything is im really a sensitive person and he's not sensitive enough for me.

so what the hell do i like about this dude? im stuck. just kidding, i enjoy our time together for the most part. we do have fun together. it's when something ELSE is going on for him, and it usually is, his attitude turns sour and he takes his frustrations out on me. he throws these tantrums that i'd expect from his daughter (whom ive never met), not him. how do i deal with that? first, i used to give this attitude like "oh, you mad, huh?" and act all nonchalant and just hang up the phone. i got tired of that game so then, i used to try to sweet talk him and talk him down which sometimes worked and sometimes didnt. now, he gets time out. i tell him what i think and if he's being irrational and not listening, i offer to talk to him later. i really only tried that once but it worked so imma keep doing that.

im going to put up with this mess and i cant even justify why. but dont you do it! let me find out you're dealing with a similar situation. you will get the sternest of emails or phone calls about it!

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