so he's not DTF...

Thursday, December 9, 2010
i have trouble with male friends. i dont know how to take them. my best friend is a boy but we are highly inappropriate together. we fondle each other and have slumber parties and crap. we've kissed before, too. ive seen his penis and everything. but it's never been a sexual thing with him. we're both nasty and have a lewd sense of humor.

i can only go by what people overtly say to me and this dude (paraphrased) said he just wants to be friends. i take no issue with that. i appreciate him saying so. it's not my preference but when has what ive wanted mattered? i deserve to be wanted back. so that's cool. but what do i do with him?

if i want to get my back blown out, is he someone i could call? i dont know. we've had sex before. we did it a couple of times but maybe he didnt really like it. im not offended and my feelings wouldnt be hurt. i also wouldnt be surprised. i asked a dude to rate me on a scale of 1 to 10 and he said something like a 6. *shrug* i had a decent enough time. but i digress. i just need to know what my options are.

how often do i call this dude? who initiates outings? is he going to pay when we hang out b/c every other experience ive had with him, he has paid. do i talk to him about other guys? do i have to listen about other bitches? idk how to proceed. i think i would know if i was convinced he wasnt interested in that way. waiting to stop being delusional.

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