spiritual feedback

Wednesday, December 29, 2010
i have a lot of...um. there are a few facebook evangelists, if you will, on my friends list. every status update is on some "God doesnt like anything about you" stuff. they rarely, if ever have status updates regarding anything but going to church, being faithful in the word, and all that noise. nothing wrong with that. idk why one fellow is pulpitting CONSTANTLY and sometimes condescendingly with a child out of wedlock but that's not my business to judge...

my question to you is: im not sure my question. i guess i wanna know if God has a sense of humor.

i mean i know i tweet some stuff that is probably frowned upon and outright disdained by God. im not making any excuses for my behavior. im curious if it's God's intention for us to be as these people profess. i know the Word is open to interpretation but i dont see many who do not fit this mold. i know we all sinners but these folks act like they're somehow better at not sinning.

it seems like there are only a few kinds of Christians: the condeming kind, the hypocritical kind, the self-righteous kind, the christmas/easter kind, or the "i didnt know you went to church"/ "it's a secret" kind. which one are you?

im probably the self-righteous kind. it's ok for me to be how i am and make excuses for what i do but you cant come to me talking about what i do because i will call you out on where your faulter. and before you go off, clearly i know this is not the right way to be.

it's so inconvenient to want to reap the benefits of heaven but try to have earthly fun. i need to strike some common ground and find a resolution b/c i know the bible says i cant serve two Gods, Him and this world...

gimme some thoughts on this. tread lightly if you dont want your comment deleted.

speaking of...

Tuesday, December 28, 2010
speaking of 2011 goals, i want to read the bible. the whole thing this time. i constantly think about family guy when peter is going off talking about "where in the bible does it say..." and follows up with a "nobody knows because the bible is entirely too long to read".

ANYyoureaheathenifyoulaughedWAY, i've read the majority of new testament scripture because all those chapters are significantly shorter and more interesting. plus i was a silly person who wanted to know what it would be like to read the bible backwards a la' the movie Memento. stop your judging right this minute. my age had -teen at the end of it when i thought that was a good idea.

ive tried to do one of those "read the bible in a year" situations but i think it was via facebook and the person giving me the chapters for the week fell completely off and i was just like...nice. i dont think we got through january and we started on the 1st. womp. im doing this on my own this time. wish me luck. that whole "someone begot someone else who begot some other" section is the MOST.

2011 Goals List

i say the following every year on this blog: i dont do NY resolutions. without fail, i still set some goals that i do not follow through on/keep up with. someone tell me what i spoke of last year? yea, i dont remember either. here's some sh*t i wanna be better about:

1. practice not being fat- i wanna make health a habit and not a chore.

2. be financially fit, too- sallie mae, that slut-butt bitch, will be knocking on my door sooner than i want asking me to make good on that grad loan she gave me. i'd love to be like "i aint got it" but my grandma and my sis are on those loans. they not gonna be stalkin' my meemaw. no sir. plus i wanna get outta "mommy" and "daddy's" house. it's time.

3. be nicer to my car- me and stewie are road dawgs but damn if shawty dont need a facelift. he needs a front (thanks, nene eye) and rear bumper replaced. the rear is all me. i swear i didnt see that yellow THING. idk what the hell that was or why it was there. at the very least, i could wash him regularly.

4. do it now- im still on this. latest "do it now": tickets to alvin ailey in feb. i went ahead and grabbed tix for me and sis without regard to whether or not she'd pay me back. good news: she plans to write me a check for her ticket!

what do you not want to have another year of/what changes would you like to implement for the rest of your life? AND do tell why you need to wait until midnight 12/31???

nostalgia break: go-go

Monday, December 27, 2010
Rare Essence Work The Walls- i needed to share this. this popped in my head randomly. i dont remember how old i was when i first heard this but i remember LOVING IT! how very inappropriate. *shrug* i had much older sibs. enjoy:

wanna win something?

Sunday, December 26, 2010
hosting a small giveaway over on my beauty blog. click on over to enter

good luck!


Saturday, December 25, 2010
my beauty blog gets all the videos these days so here's my christmas video JUST for you readers. unless you read both blogs, in which case then no, it's not just for ya'll. but you know what i mean. anyway...see what i got this year.

alternate link:

More Cupcake Wars

Friday, December 24, 2010
you may recall a post from a few months back on the cupcake spots in DC i've come to be aware of. i'm back with an update!

first up, Sprinkles. before you say "now, bish, you know there aint no such place in DC...", hold your horses because there will be come February 2011! consider this your sneak peek. while in Chicago, i visited their Sprinkles and i must say, i give this place 2 "yums" up!

the cupcakes are $3 and some change (sorry, don't remember the exact cost) and it was totally worth the 5 bus transfers in the pouring rain. i kid, we transferred like 2 buses, it was on the way to another place we were going, and the rain would not have been so bad had it not been sideways and had i carried an umbrella...ella ella eh eh eh. i advise being first in line when Sprinkles opens in our neck of the woods b/c this shop is set to rival G'town cupcakes and Baked and Wired. if you paid attention, you'd know it's properly positioned to do so right between the two. i cant wait....

if you can't wait either, try Red Velvet Cupcakery available in Penn Quarter and Dupont. i recently visited the Dupont location and paid $3.85 for a baked treat. yes, almost $4 for a cupcake smaller than Baked and Wired's or Sprinkles' offerings. i bet you're thinking that i could have saved 85 cents and gone down the street for Hello Cupcake. if so, you'd think wrong. here's why: they both offer a cookies n cream cupcake and i let the two shops battle it out. Red Velvet wins hands (and forks) down. PLUS, i guess the boy at Red Velvet thought i was cute or something because he gave me 4 cupcakes free. this was how i was able to try the cookies and cream because i had ordered the "southern belle" which the website recommends for first-timers.

yes, Red Velvet costs more, significantly so if you ask me and you do ask me because this is MY blog, but they win on customer service. he let me in before they were slated to open saying "it's too cold for you to be outside. come on in" and he gave me freebies. so what if they were made yesterday? i will say the folks at Hello Cupcake are friendly but in general, these would be happy-go-lucky places dont have the cheeriest of folks working there. especially Georgetown Cupcake. you would think they'd show off since they have a show. and you're right about that. it was so empty in there one time when i went when they were filming and guess what? i also had the most pleasant experience in all my visits to them. don't get me wrong, no one has ever been outright rude but it's the little things like "hello" and "have a nice day" that make a difference to me.

how 'bout we...

Sunday, December 19, 2010
the 3 yr old (niece) told the 13 yr old (niece) this "how 'bout you not put that over your scarf". context is not important, intonation is. i DIE. anyway, that's not what this post is about.

why dont we stay away from blog topics related to my bipolar emotions? just for the rest of 2010. that's not too long. ya'll can handle that.

meanwhile...i owe yall some information regarding my Chicago visit so i have a post or three (more like 1 definite) coming in the near future. you can check out an itinerary of everything i did over on T's blog. i did everything you see there (minus the crossed out items, clearly). be a dear and let me know which experiences you'd like to hear more about, otherwise all imma talk about is cupcakes for certain.

i cant handle me right now

Thursday, December 16, 2010
im in so much like that i really cannot stand myself. ya'll know i'm fickle and i default on pessimism but im just sick right now because i'm liking someone. but just like it takes almost nothing to make me this happy, something simple can easily make me just as upset. but im trying not to think of that. im also not wanting to think of how exponentially happy he just made me. do you want to know what has my dimples creating black holes in my cheeks? i said "no, not yet" and he said "ok". *drops mic*

*picks it back up because when do i really have posts that short?*

no, but seriously. i didnt get no "baby, why not". there was no "what's the problem, we've done it before". no bullshit. just "ok" and "i understand". when i tell you how badly i wanted to drop my panties...but i couldnt. wasnt right. wasnt what i needed. i need him to know that i REALLY like him and this can't be just a sex thing like it's been in the past. *sigh* would have been nice to get it in though.

just change everything about yourself

Wednesday, December 15, 2010
not being single can be SO easy. i have the secret right here: do everything that's against who you are.

im very much tired of being alone but there is no way im going to compromise who i am and what i want for someone who makes no concessions for me. what the fuck sense does that make? why in the hell would i have to change everything about myself for someone to love me? better yet, why would i want someone who pretends to be someone else so that i'd like them?

if that's the name of the game, count me out.


perpetually single

so he's not DTF...

Thursday, December 9, 2010
i have trouble with male friends. i dont know how to take them. my best friend is a boy but we are highly inappropriate together. we fondle each other and have slumber parties and crap. we've kissed before, too. ive seen his penis and everything. but it's never been a sexual thing with him. we're both nasty and have a lewd sense of humor.

i can only go by what people overtly say to me and this dude (paraphrased) said he just wants to be friends. i take no issue with that. i appreciate him saying so. it's not my preference but when has what ive wanted mattered? i deserve to be wanted back. so that's cool. but what do i do with him?

if i want to get my back blown out, is he someone i could call? i dont know. we've had sex before. we did it a couple of times but maybe he didnt really like it. im not offended and my feelings wouldnt be hurt. i also wouldnt be surprised. i asked a dude to rate me on a scale of 1 to 10 and he said something like a 6. *shrug* i had a decent enough time. but i digress. i just need to know what my options are.

how often do i call this dude? who initiates outings? is he going to pay when we hang out b/c every other experience ive had with him, he has paid. do i talk to him about other guys? do i have to listen about other bitches? idk how to proceed. i think i would know if i was convinced he wasnt interested in that way. waiting to stop being delusional.

i love the idea of him

Wednesday, December 8, 2010
i really liked him once upon a time and then the bottom fell out. i was reminded of why i was into him. he attended good schools. he's black. he parked his car and came to the door. he's sexy. he's the right height. he's the right build. he's a cowboys fan. he's sexy. he has a sense of humor. his inappropriate meter, like mine, was never calibrated. we have fun together. ive fallen asleep in his arms.

he does things i do not like. he talks about things i dont care about. there's still plenty i dont know about him. but, most importantly, he does not appear to feel about me what i feel about him. so all of that first paragraph thing never matters. we supposedly want different things.

yall almost saw me care about someone. close but no cigar.

Day 05 – Your definition of love

Tuesday, December 7, 2010
I'm doing another one of these. Today's topic? Defining love. I wrote a poem in HS called "4 letter word". I described what I thought love was at the time. My parents were the only ones who got it. I think some of my friends did, too. Most adults thought the word was "hate" or that I was cussing. I didn't care. You don't force someone to enter a spoken word competition as part of an extracurricular activity. So maybe I was cursing, just a little bit. At the time, whatever it was I wrote was my definition of love. I think I've posted it on here long ago when i first started this blog so if you're interested in knowing what a 16 year old thought love was, try your hand at searching.

8 years later, I dont have a definition of love (not platonic). I have a vision of love. That's right, #MariahCareyFlow. I envision love being a limitless connection to another person. I think that if I one day found love, it with be with someone with whom I had mutual respect. Someone who I could accept wholly, flaws and all and would accept me in the same manner. Someone who not only shared things in common with me but also created a balance for my personality. For example, I'm high strung so I would want my love to be my voice of reason and a little more easy-going. I think love is knowing someone's limitations and coming to their aid rather than ridiculing them. I think people are a unique combination of needs and gifts and that the person they love fits those needs and gifts in such a way that that bond is not easily broken #MorrisChestnut.

ugly girl's dating guide

Monday, December 6, 2010
ive figured it out. i have bad dates and poor experiences with men because i must not be cute enough. here are a few rules i've devised for navigating the dating world.

so you were lucky enough that some dude with low self-esteem wants to take you out:

1. don't wear too much makeup- you do not want to trick this guy into thinking you're cute. that's just mean b/c eventually, you'll get comfortable and he'll see you without the makeup and know the truth.

2. bring money for your meal- sometimes guys ask ugly girls out (who knows why) but they dont always pay. be prepared.

3. try to meet him there/have your own transportation home- you dont wanna be a "practice girl". if he does pay for your meal, remember you're ugly and he'll expect something in return. you dont wanna get stuck over his house having to do ho shit and him still maybe not feeling like bringing you home.

4. show cleavage- it's distracting from your ugly face and might get your meal paid for

5. think carefully about menu options- your ugly ass doesnt need to be slurping spaghetti. order whatever you think pretty girls drink. this is not a time for hennessy and coke.

6. you have plenty of time to get ready- he's never going to show up on-time for your ugly ass. take time getting ready, you know you need it.

any other tips and pointers? :)

do you have one of those?

Sunday, December 5, 2010
do you have a "one that got away"? what does that even mean? it seems like you're saying there was a girl/guy who things were great with and then whatever happened and things went bad and you never saw or heard from them again. and THEN you think about them all the time and you wonder what if?

i dont really feel like that makes sense. of course, there are guys i think about about and i smile a little. then i remember the way in which we parted or whatever they did that i hated and then im like "oh yea". that's pretty much the extent of it. but apparently, it is not that way at all for other people.

i had a dude tell me "i dont think like that. i focus on the good. you fixate on the negative". i dont deny that. i dont live a life of sunshine and fucking glitter. i live a life of balance; that means i recognize the good and the bad and when the bad outweighs the good, you gotta GO.

while i dont have someone who got away, i have someone that if i did things a little differently, things probably wouldnt be horrible. i did a needs assessment and something i wanted but didnt get should not have been a deal breaker right away. i think i try to anticipate issues and bail before they occur. im an instant gratification type of person but im trying to train myself to wait. i need to realize that everything cant be on MY time. imma try. we'll see.