oh, those parents of mine

hold on, peter, because i'm gonna tell you all the things wrong with that statement- lois griffin

these people up and decided to get a dog. my mother said she wanted a dog last year and i said, "do what you want, but i'm in school and working so im not helping" and my dad said he wasnt gonna help either. then she got mad and was like she wanted to adopt a dog and the agency wasn't gonna let her if two people in the house didn't want it. fast-forward about 6 months and my parents just up and go somewhere without telling me (they would never have me do that. they would grill the shit outta me before i finished getting dressed). a few hours later, these geniuses return and i hear the un-mistakeable sound of claws on our hardwood floor. i thought, "oh, im trippin because that makes absolutely no sense for them to get a dog". why?

1. it's a recession and taking care of a dog aint cheap.

2. every other day they talk about getting a divorce. who gets a dog together?

3. there was no preparation; no treats, toys, collars, leashes, beds, food, or dishes were bought.

4. the people they got him from didnt bathe or groom him so that has to be done, ASAP. and preferably professionally.

5. i find it just a little rude to get the same kind of dog that i had when i was 9 who died. 

6. they clearly gave no thought to a name for the thing. the people who had him before were calling him 'nemo' because the little girl was 5 and i guess he was her dog. my mother wants to call him 'sherlock' and that name absolutely sucks. i gave about 100 names better than 'sherlock' and she liked none of them. if that is his name i refuse to call him that.