"do what makes you happy"

my big brother dropped this along with some other gems in our hour-long convo sunday night. once or twice a season, i can actually get my big brother on the phone and we have good talks. he was drunk but still insightful on this particular occasion.

he told me things i already know but added his 4 additional years of life experience which offered more reassurance. he basically told me he was insanely proud of what im doing and all that extra shit doesn't matter. he said he didnt give a hell what i was doing in comparison with what other people are doing as long as i wasnt out here acting crazy and he knows that im really not. the conversation ended on this note "do what you need to do; you will always have me, kevin and tiffany on your side...and your bat shit crazy parents".

so i'm gonna do what makes me happy. can't wait to figure out what that could be.

we're approaching that time

i'm going to have my last first day of school aug. 30. "but antithesis, won't you be pursuing a PhD?" you may ask. im ready to live life so no. not directly. maybe not ever. i dont know but what i do know is it's not a "go straight through" situation as grad school was.

another thing i think i know is that posts will be more infrequent than they have been unless i do something about it. so here's what i'm proposing: september will be the month of my "subscriber selection" series. during the series, i'll be posting about what you tell me to post. if you have a topic you'd like the antithetical position on (or wouldn't it be shocking if i went with the masses?), then let me know. otherwise, i'll just fill the month reposting my most popular posts (based on number of comments). i'm hoping to do a mixture of both but i cant do that without your help.

SO COMMENT, EVEN IF IT'S JUST THIS ONE TIME, LETTING ME KNOW WHAT YOU WANT ME TO POST ABOUT IN SEPTEMBER.

as always, thanks for reading!

1 girl, 3 cupcake spots

if you follow me on twitter, i'm always sending an update about cupcakes. i'm a confection addict, i have to admit. more accurately, i'm probably always updating about dessert in general. announcing my craving for a funnel cake and mentioning Founding Farmer's DELICIOUS red velvet cake immediately comes to mind. lately, i've been discovering little cupcake shops to add to my mental rolodex when i happen to be in varying parts of the city.

georgetown cupcake- if it's free, it's for me. i frequent them for the free cupcake of the day and sometimes im greedy and pay for one other. they are cheapest at $2.75 a cupcake but they also are the smallest. i like their icing best and the cake part is nice and light, which i prefer.

this is the first specialty cupcake shop i've ever visited (i think over a year now). with the new show on TLC, the line has been more ridiculous than ever so i'm seeking out alternatives. their daily promotion of a free "secret" cupcake doesn't help either. get there before 10 am (when they open) for your best shot. they announce the free item on fb and twitter during the 9 oclock hour.

my rating: A

baked and wired- they dont just sell cupcakes. they offer other confections and some granola mix they call "hippie crack". also located in georgetown, it gets points for being closer to campus AND conveniently located closer to the bus stop (and mac and sephora) than georgetown cupcake. these cupcakes are probably twice the size of g'town cupcakes. here's where points are lost: the icing is super sugary which i do not like and the cake is more of a muffin consistency so it's dense. you also pay for convenience as it's not a super well known spot because they charge something like $3.85 for their cupcakes. I can't remember the price and they do not list the price on their website. i'm willing to give them a second chance because i tried strawberry (which had pieces of strawberry in the cake, yum!). i'll reserve final judgement until i try something chocolate. if you mess that up, you should just go out of business.

my rating: B-

hello cupcake- the third venue is located just below Dupont Circle. foursquare puts me on to plenty of new spots to try although i'm certain i've passed this place before but just never went in out of loyalty for georgetown cupcake in it's pre-tv show days. they charge 3.00 exactly for their cupcakes and they are about the same size as georgetown cupcakes. the icing was light and fluffy and tasty and the cake is light as well. i got a princess cupcake which was also strawberry and is served daily.

my rating: A

each spot has a variable menu with some items served daily. visit their websites for menu offerings.

i have hot friends

last night i learned how dangerous it is to go out if you're commited. my engaged friend got hit on gratuitously and my friend in a committed relationship caught some of the action as well. when we settled on a spot for the night, these nice (non-black) guys partied with us all night. my friend commented that the guy was like he didn't know which one of us he wanted because we were all hot. we never told him that he only really had one option.

honestly, i've been slacking on recruiting a new boo interest. i let fellow temp associate catch a train headed out of my life without getting his contact info. and i allowed this jersey kid who was not black dance away from me forever. i haven't been feeling confident.

i didn't feel pretty when i was ambushed at that half-day temp assignment by an educated cutie. i also didnt put my best effort in my appearance for my girls' night out. i felt my friends were way more attractive than me. oh, i was for sure the cutest thing up in that office that day but i still wasnt feeling my look for the day. plus, i couldn't decide if i wanted him for me or T since he talked of plans of moving to the midwest in the near future.

i have a chance to do better tonight. my friend, a 2001 alum from my high school, is having an event to celebrate his book launch: The Dawn of Generation Why. i'm always supportive of fellow psych majors and related causes. i hope to meet some like-minded individuals, as well as reunite with former class- and school mates. time to get my game face on and seek out some prospects. or maybe i just need some me time and i should simply take advantage of an opportunity to look cute and garner some attention. i cant believe my brain combined the words "good" and "cute" just now and i typed "goote". im done.

+ thinking

in the style of Tea's Top Ten and in no particular order:

1. no matter how much i hate it, i have somewhere to live.

2. i have a car that all i have to do is put gas in and pay $30-40 for oil changes (i need to fix both bumpers but i can get to points a & b so whatever).

3. as far as i know, other than being overweight, im in great health.

4. i have an endless supply, or seemingly so, of shampoo and conditioner.

5. i have eliminated the need for regular salon visits as i can care for and style my own hair and my sister is willing to do my relaxer when i need it. that could be as infrequent as twice a year, if i want.

6. i have the colors i want to paint my own nails. not like i've found a decent pedicure spot.

7. when i was employed, i made sound fashion choices and my closet is full of classics and staple clothing items.

8. i have an open invitation to visit (and spend the night) at my sister's place where my favorite people reside.

9. for things i REALLY need (school/car related), my dad helps me out

10. though im not losing weight, my inability to indulge as much as i'd like insures that i'm not GAINING weight.

168.5

this number is haunting me. every time i get on the scale, that's what it says. sometimes it goes up but never below that number. i have reason to believe my mother's scale is broken based on other digital reads it's given. ive stepped on and gotten 0.0 as well as ----. whatever the case, one thing is for certain, running isn't enough. i thought it would be but no. i still loathe my stomach and arms. i'll admit, i haven't done anything a day this week and it's not justifiable. i just don't feel like killing myself on the treadmill and not having many food options simply to not get the results i want. the carving out of hindparts was a fringe benefit but it's hard to use that term with no primary gain. maybe 3-4 days a week isn't enough to run but i dont feel like going beyond that. i have a car but i certainly do not drive everywhere. i bus and walk a fair amount. can that count for something? i guess that's why i dont really gain wait unless im sitting around being ridiculous with my sister and we don't do that often. i knew i'd grow bored of just running. i guess i'll add pilates dvd to the mix and do something about my diet of cheez-its and yogurt...

any other ideas?

do not want

i regret telling 2010 to turn the fuck around and walk away. like 2009, i pretty much hate this year but if it hurries up and leaves idk what to do. it's already august. at the end of this month, i have the beginning of the end. it will be my last semester of grad school. in october, i take the exam to be a national certified counselor and in december, i'm done with school. i have no freaking idea where i will be after that. when people ask what i do, i wont be able to say im in grad school. i'll have to be somebody doing something somewhere. and i'll need to figure out where i'll live while doing it. i'll have to be a grown up. there's no manual for this and it seems like the shit just happened for my sister and brothers. like BAM! you're established. actually, seems like it just happened for everyone. like oh, you've graduated? well here's the job you're going to do. when i graduate, i still wont be qualified for any decent job. i'll need two years of experience being supervised doing what i want to be doing but ineligible to get the two years because i dont have the license i'm trying to get by doing the two years. tell me how that makes sense.

so 2010, don't go so fast. i take back what i said. stick around a while.