church

i remember being 3 years old and attending peace lutheran church. we randomly stopped going for some years until i got to middle school and started doing inapproriateness and then my mom made me go back. i remember a brief period before that when she tried to get us back in church and we went to allen AME church. when i went back to peace, i was super involved. sang in the choir, taught sunday school, attended events, went pretty much every sunday. that continued until around my junior year of high school when my involvement dropped off and i got ready to go off to school. in college, i recall going to services on campus less than a handfull of times. when spending they night with friends' local family on weekends, i attended church with them. when i moved off campus, i visited a couple of lutheran churches though i dont really identify with any particular denomination. a friend asked me to go to this baptist church with her and we would alternate driving on sundays since she lived in my apartment complex. during breaks, i just went to peace when i was home.

i came home to find my church (peace) in disarray. the pastor of the last like 5 years got a divorce and the congregation looked up the details b/c it's apparently public record. they discovered that the grounds for divorce were based on infidelity and they became more up in arms than before. i dont give a hell about the details of the man's divorce or the fact that he got one in the first place but there is a bunch of weirdness when i go. pews are more empty (it was already a small congregation) and the head nods are fewer and further between. it's just uncomfortable being up in there.

all that detail is to say, i'm going to start the process of looking for a new church to attend. idk but i profess myself to not be a really religious person but rather spiritual so i'm not sure why going to church is such a big deal to me. it just seems like my life feels way different when im not going to a church i enjoy. im really picky about the church i go to and i really am thinking about moving back to atl just to go to the baptist church i was going to despite the few things i didnt like about it. i basically didnt like that service sometimes went long on football sundays. that's all i can remember. if im able to commit and focus on this, i'll try to update you all on the process.