tell me who i have to be to get some reciprocity?

im a true libra in the sense that i crave balance in all things. i love even numbers. it bothers me that i have 3 tats and not 2 or 4. i need symmetry in relationships, too. that's my problem. i never want to be calling you more than you're calling me. i hate to feel as though i put forth more effort than you. so there are times when i do the most and times when i do the least to balance out when i was doing what too much. i struggle with finding the happy medium so it's always over- and under-compensating. i need someone to balance out my scales or else i just need to be alone. idk what works best because most times when im alone, i hate it and when im talking to someone, i hate that, too. this is getting to be way too upsetting.