what the damn?!

Sunday, December 28, 2008
my brother coined this phrase about two years ago. i dont remember the details of the circumstances. i just remember chillin' in the basement watching tv and my brother was behind me on the computer. suddenly, he thought out loud, "what the damn?!" and i just burst out laughing. i guess his intonation and the odd combination of words tickled me. anyway, i never knew what it meant to me until this very day. all i can think when i think about the cowboys v. eagles tonight is "what the damn?!" i cant watch the game because it's not being airred locally because the damn redskins are playing right now. all i can see is the score and all i can say is, "what the damn?!" like not only are we going to lose, we will lose rediculously. i am beyond overjoyed to not have to go to work tomorrow but i feel as though because we are losing so embarrassingly, i will still have to hear a certain person's mouth next week when i return. and now for another one of my favorite phrases: oh this is some bullshit! let me just cap it up with: this is a code 10, man down situation!!!!

oh no!

Saturday, December 27, 2008
santa already left but i want a wii. i didn't know i wanted it before, or else i would have asked. my niece got a wii last xmas and i never bothered to play it. this xmas she got guitar hero with the drum pad and mic but it was defective and when they took it back, it was sold out. my brother-in-law got rock band 2 and just paid the difference. i havent played video games since the first playstation but i was interested in this console. i played wii olympics the other day and table tennis was kinda fun. i played rock band today and i have one word for you: ADDICTED. and not just to rock band. wii sports is cool. i want my niece to get wii fit, too. i really think i need to buy a wii of my own. i fear that i would never leave my room if i had one though, and i would not accomplish anything. also, it's not like i have the money to purchase the game system and accessories. i guess i could always scale back shopping for clothes and makeup...naaawww. the wii will have to wait. sucks though...
Sunday, December 21, 2008

did you hear?

Friday, December 19, 2008
favorite tracks: magic-w/ MJB and wale, dreamworld, sidestep, hard on my love, *SWEETEST LOVE*

have you heard it? do you like it? what else is out you like? i have everything and love everything but this is the cd of the week!

all i

Thursday, December 18, 2008
i don't write letters to santa anymore. i don't really answer the question, "what do you want for Christmas". i just get what i get. i still find it hilarious that my OLDER brother wakes me up saying "Ashley, get up! it's Christmas!" he's 25 and im 22. he'll be 26 this xmas and i really wonder if he'll come spend the night just so he can do that this year. 

i haven't wanted anything in particular in a while so i haven't written a list in forever. in keeping w/ '08 being different, i decided to write a list. here's my xmas list:

1. you
2. a blackberry
3. MAC eyeshadows in various shades or just a gift card
4. NARS "orgasm" polish and lip gloss (i already have the blush)
5. plane ticket to ATL, Chicago, NYC, or some other destination that's not here
6. my tuition; even for just a semester
7. a new coloring book and crayons with a BUNCH of colors bonus if it comes with a crayon sharpener 


Wednesday, December 17, 2008
on the phone:

niece: hola!
me: ¿como estas?
niece: muy bien, ¿y tu?
me: bien, gracias.
niece: de nada!

niece: so, how's your life going?

she's 11. she's so cute!

so? so what?

Tuesday, December 16, 2008
my niece's catch phrase at about 2 or 3 was "so? so what?" i would say "kiara, that's not a coloring book" as she colored in some children's book that was illustrated in black and white. her reply: "so? so what?"

damn right! it was her book with which to do whatever she pleased. and who writes a book for little tiny people and the pictures aren't in color? she was doing her thing and not bothering anybody. now she would use that phrase and be totally in the wrong but you didn't know whether to smile or correct her because she is such a cutie. even at 11 now, she's the cutest kid. 

i think the biggest lesson i learned in '08 was the take-away message behind what that baby was saying. as long as you're doing what makes you happy, who cares what someone else has to say about it. i hate when someone offers unsolicited input on something that affects them in no way. i used to ask people, "how would your life change knowing the answer to that question" when they inquired about who so-and-so was dating or who i was talkin' to. like really. shut your mouth. 

that's particularly relevant to anything that's happening for me currently but i just randomly thought about it. 

blackplanet, though?

Monday, December 15, 2008
it has come to my attention that people i know and regularly interact with use blackplanet as a dating service. it's like their free match.com or eharmony.com. im all for saving a dollar, but is this really a viable, recession-proof option?

the girl i know who uses it says she's prepositioned by married men repeatedly. this dude just told me married women hit him up on a regular basis, too. in addition, there are plenty of guys with strange fetishes who try to hook up with my girl.

i don't know...i dont know if i need it that bad. i barely feel safe meeting folks the old-fashioned way. more days than not, lately, i wish i had a boyfriend but is that how i have to get one?

go get adele's cd, 19!!!!!

Friday, December 12, 2008

the way it is

Thursday, December 11, 2008
I'm not in love
It"s just some kind of thing
I'm goin' through
And it's not infatuation
Ain't nothin goin on between
me and you
But I dream about it every night, baby
Wanting you here with me
Making love to me

I'm missin you like crazy
Body and soul is achin'
I'm out of control
Missing you so

I'm missing you
Missing you
I'm missing you
Missing you
I'm missing you

I'm not in love,
And that's what I just keep tellin' myself
Over and over again
And I'm not the least bit amused by it, baby
Yet still I don't wanna be with nobody else
No no no
And I dream about you all the time
Touchin' and kissin' me
And makin love to me

God knows I'm tryin to keep you out of my head
I ain't tryin to love no one
I ain't tryin to get hurt again, no
But there's something that just gets in my skin
And all I know is I can't let go
And that's the way it is

Missing You - Mary J. Blige

go see

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

 shawty, mos def did his thing as chuck berry. columbus short (this chrismas, stomp the yard) and his sexy self was good too. jeremy wright was awesome!gabby did alright. i was just happy to see her away from morris chestnut and taye diggs and no longer type-cast. beyonce....was in it. as my favorite asked "was it like beyonce playing beyonce playing etta james?" and the answer is OF COURSE. that chick pisses me off! she has put more soul and pain in her own songs and did etta NO justice. her first scene, i said to myself, "first of all, how dare you". but of course her stans will defend her to no end so i dont even know why i said anything. 

fact: you have to settle

Tuesday, December 9, 2008
the fiction is that you should not settle but in reality, you have to. never in your life will you find the complete package. you cannot have it at 100%. it's just not goin' on. but if i can just get it to 85%, i think i could live with that. i think i've been greedy. really greedy. i wanted the conversation to be deep and profound and the sex to be poppin' and to be treated like a queen. you don't get just those 3 things in one person so why the hell did i think i could get my 1 million item list?

that is what friends are for. i got my 3 wives. i got my male bff. and i got my girlies from high school. they can all compensate for whatever some dude is lacking. n*gga can't think good? well CA, BP, and MJ got it on lock. not into movies that hard? that's where bff comes in. don't wanna bring your girl to the club? jaz and t will hold me down. and the list goes on with folks who wanna do the things i wanna do.

so now all i require is that a guy tries. just try. try to be there for me when i need someone to listen. try to cheer me up from time to time. try to convey in some way that i matter to you. try to please me between the sheets (most likely you won't succeed but at least allow me to enjoy myself while i watch you get yours). try to make sure i have a good time with you in general. whenever you fall short, at least i know you tried. i'll settle for that.

i just wanna say

Monday, December 8, 2008
i don't like my job. the main one. the work study joint is aiight. but this isht? ugh!

product review

what is it: sally hansen maximum growth plus nourishing nail color in "innocent nude"

what i thought: i picked this up because it was the only sally hansen product in the shade i wanted. see, i wanted a white nail polish but not stark white. i was trying to emmulate something i saw in a mag and this was the closest thing to it. it actually looked better than what i was trying to pull off. the added bonus was that this polish stays on AND it helped my nails grow a little faster than they normally do. my nails grow fast already and a little faster when polish is involved but lately, i had not been able to keep the stuff on. this stuff still chips but not nearly as much as the other shades and variations i own. i have her hard as nails, hard as wraps, and another maximum growth shade that was clearly very old because i got it at a deep discount and it doesn't work as well as this latest one i picked up. 

the verdict: it's a good look

on repeat

Friday, December 5, 2008
listen to these when you get a chance and then tell me why they are stuck in my head and whenever my ipod/itunes are on shuffle i have to listen and might be like "rewind that!".

1. green eyes- erykah badu
2. in love w/ you- erykah badu
3. quickly- john legend and brandy 
4. i told you so-solange
5. would've been the one- solange
6. 6 o'clock blues- solange
7. dancing in the dark- solange
8. tears dry on their own- amy winehouse
9. take the box- amy winehouse
10. me and mr. jones- amy winehouse
11. better in time- leona lewis
12. bleeding love- leona lewis
13. falsetto- the dream
14. everybody knows- john legend

slight disadvantage

Thursday, December 4, 2008
what's the point of having a male best friend for male insight if all you date are dicks and your bff isn't a dick????i guess if he was, he wouldn't be my bff. but still...

practice makes perfect

i started 2004 with this belief/ motto: "everything up until now was just practice". i was turning 18, about to graduate high school and go off to college and i thought that little slogan i came up with was just applicable to a few things. namely eduaction and career. not until a little while ago did i know it also referred to him. let's give "him" a name since i always just call him "him". him, from now on will be mr. false pretense. 

i've long held that people are in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. i thought mr. false pretense was there for the long-haul and then i just thought he was there for that phase of my life to bring me to the next. now i think he also fulfilled a key purpose. he was there for practice. i know i haven't mastered the lesson he was sent to teach but im sooooo ready to take the training wheels off. 

i apologize. i tried to make this make sense so sorry if it doesn't. my mind just works like that sometimes and i gotta get it out...

so embarrassing

Wednesday, December 3, 2008
i hate group presentations. with that said, i have one due today. first of all, these characters met without me and divided up everything and i was left with basically nothing. and this isnt really a group project since everyone did their parts separately and then they are just going to throw it all together at the end. so i'm looking at the powerpoint and people are talking about everything im talking about so basically it looks like i did nothing because they picked me to talk last. did i mention im like the only black person? there's another black girl but like not really, ya know? i know that was wrong of me to say and i can go deeper on my view of "acting black" and how there is no such thing but yea. anyway, so i'm the only black person so i shouldnt be but im worried about how that looks.

oh and this grinds my gears: because the other group had candy, we have to have candy? eventhough our (read "my") game doesn't call for it? ok, fine. you want to take the initiative to purchase said candy? great. you want to split the cost among 6 people? excellent. one bag of candy and i'll give you like a dollar. YOU SPENT $24 ON CANDY FOR A CLASS OF LIKE 20 PEOPLE?! bitch, have you lost your mind?! and you want people to give you $4 for that? it's a recession out here. but guess who's gonna pay it because we evaluate our group members and i cant give them even more reason to mark me down. this is some bullsh*t.

i need a resolution

up until last year, i didn't do the whole new year's resolution thing. last year i said i would have significantly less bum days in 2008. and i did. i looked a hot mess on comparativly fewer occassions than i did in previous years. granted circumstances played a role, like it's different when you live off campus versus in the dorm and you can't just go to your job or internship any kind of way. but still i put forth an effort on days i was not obligated. 

i have to figure out something for this year (2009). i don't wanna do a cliche thing like "lose weight". that's a given. 

maybe this year will be about doing "the goodest" or "the most good". when my brother was competing to be maryland's strongest man, i told him to "do the goodest". it wasn't about him doing HIS best. he had to do the best out of everyone out there. i dont know why parents tell kids to do their best. no, you need to do better than everyone else. it's a competition, ok? so maybe 2009 will be about doing my best and the best out of everyone else, too. and "the most good part" would be about giving back and charity and volunteering and all that noise. 

first of all, how dare you?

Tuesday, December 2, 2008
office worker: how did he use it? as an object or...?
kelly: ryan used me as an object
ryan: did you have a question?
kelly: i have lots of questions. first of all, how dare you?

iDied! have you ever even watched 'the office'? loves it!

on take your daughter to work day michael said, "i am like eddie murphy in 'raw' and they are trying to make me like eddie murphy in 'daddy daycare'..." 

so random!

i cant believe it

'08 is almost outta here. wow! what a year! let's review.

january- out w/ the old, in w/ the new. i saw my 2nd worst ex for hopefully the last time and turned around and brought in the new year with my big bro. fun times. 
february-my acceptances were official and i was all set to enroll at G-dub. also, i finally landed my internship so i wouldnt have to set Giles Hall ablaze. 
march- mr. officer was on that bullsh*t so nothing really eventful. my spelman sisters held me down. i LOVE my girls. 
april- miraculously, mr. officer came to his senses. finalized my plan for chuckin the deuces to the blue and white gates. 
may- GRADUATION. tearful goodbye's upon departure. i'll be back, i promise. 
june- i dont have a job yet? dang...
july- working: best job ever! oh, and i got my job lined up for the Fall
august- job ending, new job starts within a week. so what does antithesis do? hit the beach! taylor turned 1. i mean, my niece is the coolest, flyest 1 year old i know. so much fiercer than sasha...
september- i'm in grad school, so that means i gotta go to class huh? BOOOOOOOO!
october- 22!!!!!!! new ink. met someone new. and chante came to visit. 

2008 was the best and it aint even over yet. most of my years have been a whole lotta good, a whole lotta bad. 2008 was mostly good. my message to '09: top that, b*tch!

if i had a kid

Monday, December 1, 2008
it's been a while since i've done one of these. i dont know what number i'm on. i guess that's not important. if i had a little crumb-snatcher, i would make them read books. im not talking about dr. seuss. im talking about certain novels. my mother made me read "makes me wanna holler" by nathan mccall when i was a young teen. i was annoyed to have to but for real, it had some serious lessons in there that i was too hard-headed to take heed to. i recognized them as i was reading but i was so smart that i was stupid. i am still am a little that way but that's another post for another day. but yea, their little asses will be reading and i'm not talking about the coldest winter ever. why is that everyone's favorite book???? i don't remember why i hate it because i read it so long ago. and then i forgot why i hated it and re-read it and got mad again but that happened long ago, too. maybe someone with better memory than me can tell me why they didnt like it to save me two days. 

it's educational

Friday, November 28, 2008
niece- why do they call it 'black friday', anyway?
sis- because stores hope not to lose money on that day which would put them 'in the black' versus being 'in the red'.
me- and also because black people are the biggest consumers and that's who is most likely to be in the store that day.
sis- that, too. 

i'm not in the store, not because im so psuedo intellectual who thinks this day is somehow racist or my participation in it will somehow "set the race back". i'm not in the store because i don't do two things: crowds and n*ggas. every black person is not a n*gga and ever n*gga ain't black. but i KNOW the stores are full of those two things and that combination plus my short temper will cause me to act ignant. since i have a future, i can't be doin' all that. happy bargain hunting to you brave ones!

oh give thanks

Thursday, November 27, 2008
people im thankful for right now
  • the folks who comment on my blog- loves yous!!!!!!!!!!! can't say that enough!
  • mr.klean- gets...on...my...nerves and i'm 1000% sure i get on his but whatev's. he's here for a reason, i think.
  • mr.officer- sooooo quick to tell me about myself but i appreciate his old butt.
  • mr.untouchable- 'bout to call him mr. lifesaver because he stay on that rescue tip. plus he's pretty cool when he wanna be
  • chantastic a.k.a chanteezy a.k.a c.Ant- this chick....man, i love her like...like i don't even know but she's my wifey if there ever was such a thing for me
  • marquitas- i don't remember why her name is plural but it is. that's my other wife. ALL HOMO!
  • jaz and t- there are no words. they are the truth out here, ok?
  • dee- this bitch is a mess but she's also the best!
  • the jacksons- i run away to their house on the regular because i <3>big brother- goes without saying because he does what big brothers do. #3 strongest man in MD so don't f*ck w/ me!
  • the list could go on but imma end w/ this one: the rest of my fam especially grandma Price: HAPPY BDAY, GRANNY!!!!!!!!!

aiight let's carve the turkey and bust open some of auntie's banana pudding...

the face i make when i see spencer pratt

Wednesday, November 26, 2008
or any other equally annoying thing takes place:

things i hate more than spencer pratt

i have no more disdain for any other person i have never actually met than i do for spencer pratt. i loathe this character whom has never directly adversely affected my life. i am hard-pressed to find something i dislike more. but here they are; i hate these things more than spencer pratt:

  • when my knee locks up and aches for the rest of the day
  • when i have a REALLY bad cold. like phlem and all that. the only good part of that mess is my sexy voice (think pheobe on "friends"; hell yea, i watched that!)
  • when a child is abused
  • when my favorite shows are preempted by something boring/irrelevant to my life
  • hang nails
  • being followed by lame dudes in the club (no i take that back. i would rather a lame dude follow me in the club than look at spencer pratt for 2 seconds)
  • throwing up. that's a tough-y because everytime he does something, i throw up a little in my mouth
  • the one thing i hate more than him individually is the fact that Speidi got effing MARRIED. nothing is sacred...omg is they had a kid??? a devil spawn??? that would pretty much undo every good thing that has happened this year.

i dont know why i hate him so much. maybe it's his shitty, rude disposition or the fact that i think that if i touched him it would be sticky and possibly smell bad. he looks like his breath stinks. it's as if his facial hair is clear and it's creepy as f*ck. i would post a pic or vid here but it disturbs me too much. you just have to watch the hells (read "the hills") yourself...

live bloggin'

Tuesday, November 25, 2008
real housewives of atl reunion

9:08- don't forget, first week of january: kim's album comes out. no word yet on which january....
9:13- did she just say her wig was squeezing her brain???????
9:16- when people have cancer, they USUALLY stop smoking...
9:17- bitch, who lies about having cancer??? and who continues to go to a doctor who misdiagnoses it?
9:19- i just wanna take a moment to note how i have nowhere near the income of these heffas and my weave was more fly than theirs. even counting the time i had that cheap joint with milky way hair....
9:21- prior to this engagement, sheree, you resembled a horse. with that flip bang and sasha un-fierce ponytail, you confirmed your true identity. 
9:26- was that really the best question lisa got? some man's fantasy about her husband???damn she's boring and obnoxious. even the people interested in her are obnoxious.
9:33- i've been starting at that sweater sheree has on. what is that patch about? like that missing spot on her shoulder? but she's into fashion, right? yea, ok...
9:39- ive grown bored with this. hopefully, you watched so now it's your turn to discuss. sound off!


i love K.C. no, i'm not talking about the crackhead (although, frankie is my b*tch). no, i adore Keyshia Cole!!! the heffa cannot sing, her performances are wack, but she sings it like she means it and i truly love it. you dont know how many times i blasted "the way it is" while stuck in atlanta traffic. that cd saved my life and everyone's life who had a fulton, dekalb, cobb, or some other GA county tag. plus the chick is BAD ASS! i don't care what nobody say, i love keyshia cole. ALL homo (i'm not gay but i hate that people say "no homo". like seriously? wtf?). but yea, she got on this whole old hollywood glam look and i'm all for it. i loved her w/ her old hood look but the new classy joint got me goin' crazy. loves it!

i still love this fly ass chick, too:
no idea why i felt compelled to share that...

you comin' with?

as we approach 2009, i have to start thinking about what will be different from '08. last year i anticipated graduation, the possibility of a new location for grad school and some people got left in '07. they didn't pass away (i dont think), they are just dead to me. ok, that was a little harsh but whatever...

so for 2009, i am like the losing-est team in football and some folks are getting fired. some people might be out of my world before the year is up. we shall see. 

not completely sure what else will change. what will be different in for you in '09?


Monday, November 24, 2008
like i flatlined on this post: http://www.dlisted.com/node/29442

in case you're wondering

i know a few of you have been watching that little ticker down the side. about that...yea, i stopped working out and eatting better. i decided i would hold on to my girth a little longer to keep me warm this winter. like i really cant stand to be cold and i'm almost always cold because im borderline anemic. 

you may say, "just take some iron". well iron has side effects and i experience them. pretty much any side effect listed with any medication, i experience. even when it's like "this only happened with one clinical trial participant but the law says we gotta list it". yup, i'm that one participant. and multivitamins make me nauseous. i can take them with food, though i dont normally eat breakfast right away, and it does not help. i can take them with juice, doesn't really work out. something made me think i needed to take a vitamin after a night of heavy drinkings and i threw up. since then i REALLY don't want it. 

what my hair is doing

Friday, November 21, 2008
whenever my hair isn't looking cute, and admittedly that is often, my sister greets me with a, "so sis, what's your hair doin'?" so let me tell you what my hair is doing right now: nothing. i took my weave out because it was starting to look like that ashanti post i did a while back. so shortly after uninstalling, i went to get a trim because i had not had one since may. almost as soon as i sit in the chair, chick is like "ok next time you may want to get a touch up". i'm thinking, a touch up of what? i have never in my 22 years had a relaxer so i was at first thinking my hair color but then i was like no because i went back to black-ish (that reddish-brown thing i did is showing through a little).

but anyway, i seriously get that alot. like "when was your last relaxer". i never had one. thought about getting one but was advised against it but i flat iron the mess outta my head such that if i take my time and do it, it looks relaxed. my aunt warned me that if i kept doing that, my hair wouldn't revert and it would take on that relaxed appearance and she was right because i have what appears to be new growth. so with that problem i always vascillate between "growing it out" and just burning up the roots enough to have it blend with the rest. right now, im just going to go ahead and keep getting roller sets although they dont really look all that cute to me. other people like it on me so i guess that's all that matters.

...and that is what my hair is doing

i cannot stress enough

Thursday, November 20, 2008
...how much i LOVE this song. have you noticed the lyrics down the right-hand side of my blog? that was really only supposed to be there for one week. i was going to put song lyrics in that space and change it at least weekly. it's been there for at least 6 months not because i forgot but that nothing really compares to the song it references.that's just a snippet of this beautiful song. like if i could have that??? man, what? just ready to "cut off any loose ends and not even wanna keep a few". that one time is was sooooooooo close. i felt every lyric of this song but i hadn't discovered it yet/it had not been released. and once it was released, i didn't have the appreciation i have for it now because i didn't pay attention to the lyrics. maybe if i had, i would have realized what i had and not done so much stuff to f*ck it up. however, everything happens for a reason and the little girl i was then is not the woman i am now and that dude is no longer a good match for me. as for me now, i just wanna "hear a million angels singing in my ear when i say your name". 

here are the full lyrics:

i can run, i can race for hours and hours 
and don't stop
i can float i can fly us to the highest
mountain top i can breathe you, i can drink in your laugh
i can... i can live on your smile i can trip but if i can fall into your arms i can
stay there my whole life

i can live
i can love
i can be better with you,
for real
i can hear
i can feel
i can see
i can tell
you are for real

i can stare; i can memorize your face, your hands, your hair
every part of you 
i can cut off any loose ends and 
not even wanna keep a few
i can speak to you so honestly i can't even run any game
i can hear a million angels singing in my ear 
when I say your name


i can't smile, can't dream like a child
can't feel safe in this wide world without you
c can't go can't disturb this flow
can't begin to know what I would do
i can't see, can't find strength to be
rather not be me without you
i can't deal, i can't even feel, 
without you i'm not real


just imagine

Wednesday, November 19, 2008
so i met my friend's boo on her bday last friday. either he is really good or i'm an open book. we laughed, joked, ate and drank. a very enjoyable fellow. towards the end of the evening, he was able to break down my friend and i and our situations. he was able to tell me something about myself i was only able to figure out recently. he didn't know my past, he barely knew the details of my current situation. but he knew me when it came to males. if he can see that in just a couple of hours, imagine what dudes know about me after just a little while. 

honestly, it blew my mind for a minute. but now that i have this information, what will i do with it? probably continue to be a hard-headed individual and continue to get my feelings hurt. one day i will wake up and say, "this is what i wont tolerate" and actually mean it 100%. one day. i wish today was that day. 

more on mr. klean

Tuesday, November 18, 2008
i guess i sparked an interest in mr. klean with my post last week.

how we met: i was somewhere i didnt wanna be. howard's homecoming, there was a kappa house party and my friend promised the host she would attend and she REALLY wanted me to accompany her. T can attest to the fact that i was ill because i sounded like brandy sounds when she sings. he struck up a convo because that's just the extroverted dude that he is. i thought i did something rude so to compensate later, i alerted him to my departure and he requested an exchange of contact information.

why i like him: he has that certain je' ne se cois (pardon my poor french spelling but i mean "i dont know what"). he is very sexy. he's like a little thing...plus, he didn't come at me with the wackness i've grown so accustomed to since my return to the metro area. he has a great taste in movies and music, two things that are seriously important to me.

so what's wrong with him?: just a few things. mainly things that bother me because he is so much like that one dude who broke my heart in a million pieces. i think it's an aquarian thing, though.

overall, i really like this dude. it scares the hell outta me because i fall quickly and when i do i fall HARD. i have this unshakeable feeling that if that happens he will break my heart and i still dont know if i can handle that. i guess im jazmine sullivan right now. im on my lions and tigers and bears shit. so that explains why i sometimes wanna run but i'm scared of losing out.

also, a key thing too, he's a redskins fan. i mean our kids would be so confused. it's like marrying someone of a different race or religion. yes, it is JUST LIKE THAT. 

it's my parents' anniversary today, but i guess that doesn't mean much. they're part of the reason marriage/divorce scares me.

didn't catch the ball in the cup?

Monday, November 17, 2008
it's ok because the ball is on a string and attached to the cup.* 

i'm going to be just fine. there's somebody somewhere who wants me. like really wants me. not just in the physical sense. but will deeply, madly, and truly love me. the reciprocity i search and long for will be actualized. 

the hard part is just keeping that in mind. 

*get it? from family guy. 

also, on an unrelated note, that cowboys redskins game last night? i was on the field, on the sidelines, under the lights watchin' my 'boys warm up. GO COWBOYS!!!!!!

you owe me- nas

Friday, November 14, 2008

you know what really grinds my gears?

Thursday, November 13, 2008
ugh. i'm so sick of living at home with my parents. there are some major reasons for that but the little things are what are really getting to me for some reason. and it's mainly my mother. 

  1. you know i go to 11 o'clock service on sunday. why would you get up like right before 10 and take a shower or probably bath (i don't know what you were doing in there) knowing we have slight drainage issues? further, why would you do that with plans to go NOWHERE? yes, i share a bathroom with my mother because she and my dad don't sleep in the same bedroom. another issue but whatever...
  2. i'm on a certain diet called "eating to stay alive" and i buy some of my own groceries. i can't get into why there's no food hardly ever in the house but i will say another reason i buy my own stuff is i do south beach sometimes, when im not being lazy and fat. so ANYWAY. if i buy bottled water to take to school/work what makes you think you need to sit at home all day drinking it instead of just getting water from the 'fridge???
  3. also, what happened to the walnuts i bought? those things are not cheap. further, how you gonna buy another pack in a SMALLER size than i originally bought?
  4. so you're not even going to ask if i wanna see the macy's circular before putting it in the recycle bin?
  5. if i parked my car already, why do you need to come out and re-park it? also, in order to do that, did you really need to adjust ALL my settings? mirrors all f*cked up and seat all up in the steering wheel. also, i swore i had more gas than this...
  6. if you are home all week, why do i need to compete with you to wash clothes on the weekends? i should only have to really compete with dad...
oh well, happy birthday. 

i found the near-perfect man!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008
too bad he exists in like 10 different dudes. i just need one dude. he would have:
  • the i-don't-know-what sexiness of mr. untouchable and mr. klean
  • the generousity, thoughtfulness, and endowment of mr. officer
  • the sensitivity and conscientiousness of BFF
  • the freaky nature of mr. klean
  • the sports team preferences of mr. fanatic
  • the literary ability of don
  • the musical tastes of mr. klean


Tuesday, November 11, 2008
told to me in the club:

"i would start by taking you to Dave and Buster's and if you're hungry, we can grab something to eat after."

allow me to point out the things wrong with that statement.

  1. you and i are over the age of 18; you much further away than me but that's irrelevant
  2. they serve food at that establishment so why not just eat there???
  3. i never agreed to go out with you
  4. i don't recall inviting you to speak to me
  5. the fuck?! like does that impress all the hoes or did you just think that would work with me because i appear to be very young?
  6. seriously, Dave and Buster's???
  7. no, really? is that the best you could come up with? 
  8. yea...i wouldn't even tell people that
enjoy your day.

breaks my heart

Monday, November 10, 2008
maybe i feel too much. there was a time where i was almost completely numb. i thought there was something wrong with that. now i long for that time where i had no feelings. because it was then i couldnt be hurt. i could be annoyed, tired, bored, but not hurt. i couldn't feel love; for anyone else or anyone else's love towards me. it felt...un-right.

somehow, i feel feelings now. and they get hurt. alot. i can't control it. stuff that i don't think should hurt hurts. stuff that never really mattered to me.

my heart must still be "broken". my emotions must still be displaced and mixed up. my soul just does not feel right.

these 4 words

Thursday, November 6, 2008
diahna's little 2-year-old nephew is a genius. he needs to be a motivational speaker or something because he came up with the absolute best phrase. these 4 words, "i dont want it" sum up my feelings on so many things. really, it's perfect. REALLY!

scenario 1-

guy: take my number
me: i dont want it

scenario 2-

guy: i want to give you this ring
me: i dont want it

scenario 3-

random person: here's a flyer
me: i dont want it

i used to think i wanted a boyfriend. nope, i dont want it. i believed there was a chance i would want to actually be married one day. im about 96% sure i dont want it. not until i started working toward this master's degree did i come to the conclusion that i dont want it. i just want the privilages and such that come with it. this is some bullshit...

if you're out there- john legend

Tuesday, November 4, 2008
download that track. CELEBRATE!!!!!! still can't believe it....


"it's mind bottling". who said that? what movie is that from again?

anyway... i'm at a loss for words. the fuckery that is my day-to-day experience with people with penises is a huge problem. i would elaborate but i dont know where to begin and...like serious i can't even finish a sentence when it comes to this shit. 

but then...
and if that's the case...
what gives you...?
where do you get off...?

imma just vote, i'll have a voice at the polls today!

all you need to know about baby mama

Monday, November 3, 2008

i saved you 2 hours. gimme $10. (i liked the movie but yea, that was the funniest part)

it's getting to be my favorite excuse to drink

Friday, October 31, 2008
happy pretend-to-be-something/one-you're-not day! i'm using my free pass to dress like a slut, will you? today, i will be "simply irresistable" (that sounds better than Robert Palmer girl right?) and this i how i'll tell people "i'm simply irresistable *wink*". i think that adds the corny factor sufficiently. 

this will be the second year since elementary that i got into it. since turning 21, this has been a great excuse to party. it's just a plus that i can dress like a whore and no one can say anything. that was a lesson from Mean Girls. if you have not seen that movie, i dont even know what you are doing with your life. anyone can find humor in that flick. it's not just for prepubescent and teen girls. but i digress. go out and have fun. shit, if not for halloween, do it because it's FRIDAY!!!!!!!!

im tired of kissing frogs...

Thursday, October 30, 2008
listen negroes: stop telling me "it's your loss" if i don't wanna do the dumb chick stuff you suggest!

i don't know whose loss it is, but i GUARANTEE it ain't mine, honey. let's not forget, you stepped to me and i acquiesced. also, who does that line ever actually work with? do you say that shit and the bitch be like, "well, in that case..."? or, "since you put it like that". like the girls at Spelman love to say, "nigga, kill yo'self". it won't fly w/ this chica. honestly, that wouldnt have even worked years ago when i admit i did some ignorant shit when it came to dudes. plus back then, i probably would have cursed your dumb ass out with no hesistation. now, contrary to popular belief, i'm much more polite and i simply say, "if that's how you feel". i guess that catches you idiots off guard 'cause maybe that line actually does work and your used to it working. so you wanna follow it up with some nonsense about the availability of other women. i'm aware that there are other females who fuck it up for upstanding ladies like myself by giving in to your outlandish demands, and with that i respond, "do what you must"/ "do what ever you think you need to do".

let me explain something to you. it's new. it's called "long hair, don't care". in the words of my role model, Karen Walker, "honey, i don't care". i cannot stress it enough. it's just annoying that several guys have tried this mess with me.

what am i talking about? i'm talking about you acting like it was a blessing for me that we met. that my life was in shambles and you are here to save me. like your dick is like fresh, flowing water and i'm in the desert. stop telling me, "if you play your cards right..." because in saying that, you are playing YOUR cards WRONG. look guy, YOU are the one would approached ME. my life was great before you came and most-likely it will be better if you were never a part of it. arrogance is not an attractive quality. confidence is, but you have an ill-defined notion of it and exude this disgusting bullshit that oozes from your ears.

so this is how it goes. you approach me. you may or may not give me some decent conversation. at my discretion, we exchange information. you call because i don't do that. you talk about how much you like this and that about me. how great the conversation was (even if we'd had none, so thats the first red flag). then you tell me how i need to do something bordering on inconvenient and possibly dangerous in order to be with you. *record skips* whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. call me old- fashioned but it is you, sir, who must put forth the effort. it don't care if it's the year 3000, you better do what they did in the 1920s (that's an exaggeration, but i'm sayin'). don't play. you gonna respect me or you can get gone.


Wednesday, October 29, 2008
flare- n. that something about you that you hold responsible for attracting the opposite sex

my flare might be my new hair. it has been an influx of approaches as of late and i deduce that it is attributable to this weave. that or the fact that my hair actually appears done a lot more often.... one of those things. im almost certain.

my other flare are my dimples. most people like my smile. so many people like my glasses that one of my favorites picked out. it's funny that i almost wouldn't even try them on. those are all the attractive qualities i can think of that i have.

what's your flare?

what were you thinking?!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008
here's what i think goes through his head when he tries to talk to me

him: jerk
his thought process: she looks like she has low self-esteem. let me see if i can sleep with her.

him: unattractive
his thought process: i'm feeling a little better-looking today. let me see if i have a shot

him: (i hate to call anyone this) ugly
his thought process: i've been told 'no' plenty of times so what's one more?

him: old
his thought process: just let her be over 18

him: lame
his thought process: he doesn't know he's lame so it's business as usual. he doesn't think anything, he just goes for it.

him: out-of-towner
his thought process: *singing* "...'cause i only got one night in town. break down or be clowned. babygirl are you down?"

him: short (but taller than me)
his thought process: she's actually shorter than me! i gotta see what's up.

him: short (shorter than me)
his thought process: i have no idea; gotta be outta his mind...

did i leave anyone out?

no way, guy

Monday, October 27, 2008
i dont settle. settling is so 2007 and we are about to head into 2009. so what if i'm just learning fairly recently? the important thing is that i learned.

with that said, how come i keep getting approached by settle-able guys? unsavory characters (the phrase of the month), short guys, thin dudes, disrespectful hooligans: they all want to approach me with wackness.

i dont think i ask for much. i ask that your bitchassness be on 0 and at most at any time on 10%. i recognized that there is a such thing as a man period and i allow for that once a month. i simply ask that you have a goal and be actively working toward it. you do not have to have the salary or position you ultimately want right now but you need be making strides. if that means going to school and filling this position, then that's what that means. just be doing SOMETHING. most other qualities are evaluated on a case-by-case basis. however, i do have a height and weight requirement. you must be at least this tall (5'10") to ride this ride. we can be friends all day long but "you know we aint fuckin' if you not thick". the smallest that is acceptable is 180 lbs and i'm putting you on a meat and potatoes diet.

is that too much to ask?

and if i were a boy...

Friday, October 24, 2008
nevermind all that relationship stuff bey is talkin'. i was raised right, i know i would be a great guy in that respect. i can't stand bitch boys so i know i wouldn't be one. let's talk about the REAL advantages. 

  1. i would be a sharp dresser because boy clothes are always on sale. i'm guessing because they rarely shop. they shop out of necessity, whereas we stay in the store. 
  2. sorry but i'd be happy making more money doing the same job as a woman. so i would eat that right up. i wouldn't gloat about it but i wouldn't complain either. i'm no politician so why pretend? it's a good deal...
  3. also, it would be more socially acceptable for me to be overweight so no dieting and all that nonsense. 
  4. i would break exponentially more hearts than i would have had broken. i know i would be "raised right" and all but it's natural course of development to break hearts (mostly unintentionally). 
  5. i used to think i would be a short boy but my brother is 6'4". my dad is 5'8 on his tallest day of the year. kevin's mom is 5'4"-ish (not sure i met her 2x). so anything is possible...
what if you were a boy? and don, what if you were a girl?

fuck me pumps

Thursday, October 23, 2008
look what i got from DSW!

ain't they sexy? see? i did it again. i bought some shoes i aint got SHIT to wear with all because they were a bargain. i got it honest, though. i promise. if my daddy saw something in the store for 1 cent, yes 1 penny, less than what they were asking for originally he's like "WHAT A BARGAIN!!". im exaggerating but that is his favorite phrase. if something is not that cute and i make a face he's like, "but Ashley, it's on sale".  

MY favorite phrase is, "...and i have a coupon". yes, for this purchase, it was on clearance AND i had a coupon. so i aint mad. worst case scenario i throw on a black dress, pick up a red belt and keep it movin'...

badassness level increased

Wednesday, October 22, 2008
200th post 

Friday, October 10th: someone had the best night ever.

despite some set backs, i was able to get up with one of my best friends. my favorite ATLien was in town briefly and i had the pleasure of showing her around. we dined on fresh seafood and wine at McCormick and Schmick's at the National Harbor (the one in MD that isn't the Baltimore one). from there, we went to Georgetown where she was amazed that every store she could possibly want to shop was in one central location. it was there that we were also disappointed that the tattoo shop was closed. i mean who closes at like 10 on a Friday night? really? anyway, we randomly went to this bar right, we're greated by like 500 boston red sox fans packed wall-to-wall. since we paid a $5 cover, we decided to make it worthwhile and grabbed some heinekens before departing. from there, i decided to take her to adam's morgan. there we (mostly she) were aggressively approached by unsavory guy after unattractive male after grimey, shading looking character...you get the drift. we never actually went in anywhere EXCEPT the about-to-close tattoo shop where i got my 3rd installation of ink. i promise it wasn't planned. yes, i had been thinking about getting one and yes, i normally get them around my birthday but i had pretty much let that go. but whatever, i got one and i already want another one because it felt so badass. it also felt right. it was the first shop and tattoo artist i really liked. the one dude did try to overcharge me but my artist corrected it because she's a sweetheart. fuck him, like do you even do any work or you just take the money? take your funky man period somewhere else...

anyway, i thoroughly enjoyed catching up with one of my absolute favorite people. i miss my spelman sister so i gotta make my way down to the A before the year is out. plus that chick owes me a tattoo because she was supposed to get one with me. she decided not to because she knows a place where she can get what she wants for cheaper. makes sense, it's cool. we'll just get the next one together (if i can wait that long).

6 months, 8 days, 12 hours

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

not really, but what i'm feeling right now made me think of that Brian McKnight song. i miss ATL...

i didn't think i would feel it so soon. i still hate the place but there are some things i love about it, too. so a la DON, here is my love/hate in reference to the "A".


  • doin' 90 on the highway WITH cops around and no one giving a f*ck
  • that one movie theater no one knows about but me
  • my old one bedroom apt.
  • meeting my true spelman sisters. "spelman sister" in the sense that that's not what you call just any fool who walked through the gates.
  • the distance from my parents
  • the fact that i drove EVERYWHERE such that i could avoid "hollers" from unsavory characters
  • getting most things in life for free or really cheap
  • hearing those horrible but catchy songs that only sound good in the club before everyone else
  • walking right into (literally) mannie fresh thinking "was that...?" and continuing into the store unphased/other "celebrity" encounters. who stands at the bottom of an escalator? rappers/producers, i guess...
  • little 5 points


  • every store i like is never in one mall
  • the damn MARTA. i almost died on there. TWICE. true story 
  • august 5, 2007- that bitch ran in the back of me and subsequently almost completely ruined my senior year
  • too far to drive, too expensive to fly (for homecoming)
  • the gate at my complex being wide open on the regular and management actually thinking they justified it with their excuse
  • the language the natives speak
  • how is there no 7-eleven in the state of GA???
  • the distance from my nieces and sister and brother
  • people who say "A U Center"; just say AUC...
  • how at Subway they dont have the hot pepper sauce. you know the sauce i'm talking about?

3x is NOT a charm

Monday, October 20, 2008
i have never liked the number 3. it's alot of peoples' favorite number. i'm different, mine is 2. anyway, i found an interesting thing about this number: it ruins lives. you already know it's bad because people say, "2's company, 3's a crowd". but do you really know how bad it is?

if you get married and have children, you need to either stop at two or break down and have four. pay very close attention: if you have 3 kids, you WILL get divorced. 

no bullsh*t. everyone i know who is divorced or heading towards it has 3 kids. it seems you may do better if you have 2 girls and 1 boy but still i would not chance it. 

who do i know who has had this happen? my mother's friend: divorced. my atl friend-guy-thing: divorced, twice! (0r 3 times depending on how you look at it). the pastor at my church: divorced. my parents: separated (another topic for another day). 

ok, i'm just kidding. there are several more couples with 3 kids who have stuck it out.  but wouldn't it be interesting to have a formula for this sort of thing? but i do know the best way to prevent divorce: don't ever get f*ckin' married!!!! let's see how well i stick to that. 


Wednesday, October 8, 2008
i'm taking a brief hiatus. nothing's wrong. i haven't run outta sh*t to talk about. i just haven't set aside enough time to update. i'll be back. in the meantime, catch up on some posts you may have missed. *smooches*


Tuesday, October 7, 2008
my friend asked me a question. she prefaced it with "i might have asked you this before...". i replied that she had but let her know that i could not recall what my answer was and that i can only be responsible for something i say THAT day. my thoughts, opinions, feelings have an expiration of 24 hours.

why is this important for you to know? many of the posts written on this blog are written days, maybe even as much as a week, in advance. those sentiments may not be the most accurate reflection of my life at the time of viewing.

never, never, never change

Monday, October 6, 2008
so you might be wondering why there has been no change in my weight-loss ticker. no, i did not forget to update it. actually, i gained those two little pounds back. why am i frustrated? well, because i go to the gym 3-4 times a week for at least 30 min. (more like 1 hr. and 30 min). i take my little healthy choice or lean cuisine meals for lunch instead of indulging in the many fast food options available. so what gives?

well, a friend of mine brought to my attention that i could be consuming too FEW calories and my metabolism has adjusted and that has resulted in this plateau. completely feasible but how do i reverse it? i dont know. all i know is, i stepped my workout game up and sometimes i do fall off and eat some stuff i had absolutely no business. what's my trial and error solution? im going back on South Beach. that's how i lost that first 20 lbs almost a year ago and they are still gone. i stopped doing that and now im stuck at this stupid, unattractive weight.

that diet was in no way fun. i would be CONSTANTLY eating because i was constantly hungry. i cant tell you how many sugar-free this and 10 calorie that i consumed. this also means i have to purchase my own groceries because my parents are NOT having any parts of this mess.

what did i do?

Friday, October 3, 2008
hey hey hey, it's your favorite bday girl. i know i told you some plans but here is what i REALLY did:

1. group assignment- mock counseling session with partner from class recorded on dvd. eh, i did what i could. i'm a beginner...yeah, that's my excuse. 
2. went to work- didn't do much because i got there late and my supervisor didnt really have anything for me. Jen bought me two little ice cream things (i guess half pints) from baskin robbins. one was reeses (how did she know?!) and the other was oreo (again, great!). Isaac (my direct supervisor) bought me a GW Hippo (unofficial mascot, i'll tell you the story if you care to know) and gave me a cute card. Tela (super nice person above me, on the same level as my supervisor) got me a card and a starbucks card. 
3. late lunch- a few doors down from my job is Bertucci's. went there to get lobster ravioli. i was disappointed. it had NO flavor. also, i'm not a fan just choping garlic four ways, overcooking it and throwing it in with food.  
4. happy hour at fridays- two doors down from my job is a friday's. random, i know. Diahna got me a card and some Mac makeup i've been wanting. Tiara, Jasmine, and Ivy all got me very nice cards. my brother came and bought me a drink. i was SO drunk after that. i wanted to come home and watch the debate and i made it home in time and everything and couldnt stay awake. i was in bed by 9:45. so sad....

i got some very nice, unexpected gifts. my dad bought me SATC movie on dvd and gave me $$$. mom got me some workout gear : ). 

more festivities to come. i got happy hour with the coworkers and im going to go get my free ice cream from coldstone. plus Jasmine and Tiara wanna go hit up a couple spots later on tonight. 

my b-day look:
the pic of of low quality because i took it with my camera phone. 

thanks for all the bday wishes!!!!

[antithesis'] day off

Thursday, October 2, 2008
it's my day so i'm taking it off. im 22, yall! check back tomorrow to see what i ended up doing. 

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

october is one of the themed months i recognize because the cause matters to me, the chosen color is pink (which is awesome), and it's my birth month.
totalbeauty.com, in partnership with its network of beauty blogs, is hosting a month-long initiative that integrates breast cancer awareness, breast cancer research fundraising and beauty giveaways to engage women in the quest for a cure. watch the video (for some reason the embed thing isnt working and i dont feel like dealing with it):


scroll down to read my post for today

mr. untouchable

let me tell you about mr.untouchable. if you frequent this blog, i dont have a high opinion of many men. this one is no major exception. oddly enough, i find myself including him in my blog. why? because i keep finding myself including him in my thoughts. also, apparently if i think hard enough about him i can make him appear. that might be my super power so i'm going to focus on cultivating that skill.

anyway, mr.untouchable is what i call the man who has my thoughts captive. everything would be so great if he weren't "untouchable". i can literally touch him, obviously, and i exploit any opportunity to do so. but he is untouchable because he is committed to another. i refuse to be the one to bestow hurt on another woman because i would HATE to be in her shoes. plus if he's the type of guy i hope him to be, he wouldn't allow that. he is also untouchable because i'm no one's back-up plan or second choice. if they were to break up for some unfortunate reason, i can't say i'd be thrilled if he looked my way. also, i'm not sure of his feelings and understandably he could not fully express them if he had any.

rational me says, "he's taken; move on". that's difficult. not many men attract me and the ones that do not in such a way. he is so physically AND mentally attractive to me. he is not perfect. i think that's the thing that keeps me in check. if i just thought this was the perfect man for me, i probably would go pretty hard at him regardless of the fact that there is another person involved. or maybe not so much because i've been there and done that. i got the results i wanted but in the long run (like 4 years later) that dude was not THAT DUDE. i just wanna be over it already, for real.

so that's my mr.untouchable.

long hair, don't care

Tuesday, September 30, 2008
i got a weave, ya'll! yea, and i didnt even post a pic for you guys. aren't i a stinker? lol. i got ya'll. i will do better. i'm just being lazy with the pick-taking/uploading aspect. 

i hate pop-ups

Monday, September 29, 2008

my internet pop-up blocker works great. but i need a real life one like i need an 'undo' button. don't you just hate when people pop back up into your life? it's like "you were gone. the reason doesn't matter. maybe there are really no hard feelings. but what exactly is your purpose now? what do you want?".
if people get bored, they feel like they need to contact me. i'll be the first to tell you i'm not the most fun person. at times i can be funny but im not the chick you say, "call her. you are GUARANTEED a good time". so what's that all about. weird, huh? 

*note* i do not have a pc. i am very much a mac lover but that was the only picture to illustrate my point. 

i won something (again)

Friday, September 26, 2008

i got tagged by the talented writer who is the owner of Love Is A Minefield. i guess this is where i share some truths about myself and then tag other people. i dont follow directions so i wont tag anyone. the people i love know i love them. they are on my little blog scroll and i subscribe to their blogs. they get tagged all the time so they have probably recieved this award at least 3 times by now. i will leave you with some facts about me.
  • i used to have my tongue pierced
  • i am the most indecisive person you will ever meet
  • im a libra to the very definition of one
  • i have almost completely lost faith that i will find my match
  • i am extremely uncomfortable with sitting or having my bed in front of a window

i like...

Thursday, September 25, 2008
solange. so what? sue me! so because she is overshadowed by her older sibling, she should be ignored by everyone? give the child a chance. don't compare her to bey because, no she is no match but she is an artist in her own right. no, she cannot sing but she has something decent to say. she's no more tone deaf than rihanna or ashanti. she is not as attractive as her older sister and sometimes i get on bey for having what i call "solange" days. i have to empathize with her for being herself and not a carbon copy of her sister. she does have her own style rather than completely riding on beyonce's coat-tails. her latest attempt, (i dont know how well recieved it was), i enjoy it. and its something about that chick's style i like. she cant dress, per se, but i can somehow tolerate her. so what am i  saying here? 

i guess i'm saying listen to her or dont. but dont talk sh*t about her. especially if you have never heard one song in it's entirety. 

simply put

Wednesday, September 24, 2008
people ask me what master's program i'm in. i used to say the proper name "community counseling". to this they replied with an odd look and then, "what's that?". so then i started just saying "counseling" which still warranted further explanation. why do i feel like it's self-explanatory? maybe i tend to be a person of few words and value brevity and simplicity. but i feel like that's the simplest thing. why do i need to explain to you what that is, especially you college-educated people?

being asked questions like that is annoying in itself. it's like when you are about to graduate from somewhere and people ask, "so what are you going to do next?" i find those "get-to-know-you" questions so annoying. "oh, what's your major/program?" "what do you do?" "explain that..." i guess it's necessary but i prefer converstations that aren't an interrogation.

am i being difficult. is counseling really vague? also, why is there an assumption that i will do just one type?

allow me to add: i HATE when people reply with, "so is that like social work?" fool, if it was social work i would have said "social work". people get on my nerves...


Tuesday, September 23, 2008

there are 9 days left until my 22nd birthday! on 10/02 i'm planning on getting a tattoo, getting my free ice cream at coldstone (i joined the birthday club; i know that is SO fat), and seeing a play. 

nairVER again

Monday, September 22, 2008
i was tired of nicks as a result of shaving my legs plus the stubble the next day was no picnic either, so i sought an alternative. i knew Nair and Veet were good products. nair was a little more familiar because i remembered HATING the smell as a kid. people were saying nair had changed and their advertising had changed so i decided to give them a chance. plus this package claimed to contain vitamin E and cocoa butter (love the smell of cocoa butter). 

this $4 (sale price) mess still stinks, leaves a weird feeling on and wont wash off my hands, and burned the skin a little of my leg after the recommended MINIMUM 3 mins. i will NOT be purchasing this product again. the burn wasnt even worth it because there was still some visible hair after use. it was as if it just trimmed the hair in some areas. 

verdict: i shoulda went with Veet

who is carol anyway?

Friday, September 19, 2008
whoever she is, her daughter made a leave-in conditioner. i love the way it smells, but it doesnt really benefit my hair. it doesnt necessarily make it softer or moisturized. it doesnt detangle. the scent is lovely, i must say. im talking about carol's daughter and the product is black vanilla leave-in conditioner. it will cost you $11 to impart this lovely scent on your locks. if you want a lasting scent in your hair, i bet you could just use your favorite vickies body splash. i'm a little more than half-way through the bottle i bought almost a year ago. i'll use it for my nightly braidouts since i'll be wearing my hair natural while i finish up all these products.

do you?

Thursday, September 18, 2008

i wanna know if you match your nail polish with you toe polish. if you get a french manicure, do you also get a french pedi? lemme know.

elasta qp glaze

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

another from the elasta qp line. basically, these people have made what black women have been doing for years, a combo of grease and gel. this was my go-to hair product for my junior high days. i revisited it recently to get those pesky edges to lie down. back in 7th and 8th grade, i didnt know better so i pretty much used it on my whole head. because the product is so greasy, i only recommend it for taming that "baby hair". it's about $3or $4 so you have very little to use by trying it. i cannot stress enough NOT using it all over unless you do not want your hair to move. it's flexible and pliable but will not blow in the wind. 
i just added this girl here because i love her hair and 
color and it is most similar to mine. she uses this product,
too. see how flat her edges are?

where to next?

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

you go to college and people are from all over. especially if you are from out-of-state, your collegemates may want to know if you will return home upon graduation. they want to know where you want to settle and start your post-undergrad life. if you will be attending graduate school, will you stay in that place once your studies are completed?

i decided to return to my native DC to pursue graduate studies. a sound financial decision. but i dont know if i will stay upon recieving my degree, certification, and license. once i'm legally able to practice for profit, i might want to be somewhere else. somewhere where the cost of living is a little more reasonable. somewhere where i will have representation on the hill. 
it's easy to say where i don't wanna be. but where do i want to live? i'm pretty sure i want to live in the suburb of a major city. i want the convenience of access to the "hustle and bustle" of a major city with the partial seclusion and serenity of a suburb. plus that affordability. i want a front and backyard (a rare commodity in city living). i want the availability of premier education if i am blessed/cursed with children. so where does this exist? 

are you in the same general area you have always been? did you move around alot? where do you want to settle down and start a family? are you content with where you are?

TRESemme heat tamer spray

Monday, September 15, 2008

this is a product from TRESemme's thermal creations line. i had a bottle two years ago and it got ruined on one my mini excursions. between the time of ruining and now, i hadnt been pressing my hair much so i didnt really have a need for it. i didnt realize how much it had been missed until i bought a FHI flat iron. not gonna review that because there is plenty of internet evidence that that line of irons is HOT! whenever you apply heat, you need a heat protectant and this is it. it's budget-friendly  because it is often available for $2.99 at CVS. it will last forever because you REALLY do not need much. the drawback is it contains alcohol. but doesnt everything (heat protector-wise) these days?

non sequitur

Friday, September 12, 2008
do you often get the feeling that things make little sense in your life? like events do not logically follow one another? this KEEPS happening to me. i keep finding myself thinking, what sense does that make? i keep wanting to know why he or she will say/do something. very confusing. like why would you do so many things contrary to what you say? i know i'm being very vague, but it's another one of those things where i dont want to go into a great deal of detail. but i'm wondering if you can relate on the most simplistic of levels?
ANNOUNCEMENT: antithesis will be attending Nordstrom's Cosmetic Trend Show tomorrow morning at Pentagon City. This make-up newbie is SUPER excited. i'll try to remember to take lots of pics (not of me because i am certain to look a hot ass mess having to wake up at like 6 am on a saturday). 


Thursday, September 11, 2008
not the one you're thinking of. i must proclaim my love for LAUREN LONDON. i have no idea why i like her so much. she's no oscar-worthy actress but she's no lame either. maybe it's the fact that her first and last names start with the same letter (just like ME). or it's because she has dimples and one is deeper than the other (like me). she's just effortlessly beautiful (like i wanna be).  who is your favorite celeb?

things i'll do when/if i have kids

Wednesday, September 10, 2008
subtitle: the name game

haven't done one of these in a while. i give alot of thought to how i would raise my kids but little to no thought to what their names will be. well, actually i've given it thought. everytime someone has a kid i think about the name they gave them. i couldnt decide on a name because it's so permanent. that is that kids name for life. some names are cute when the person is a little boy or little girl but can you image calling some 30 year old woman Kayla? or what about a baby named Opal? a name that's perfectly fine for a 60-year-old woman. but maybe i dont need to think about a name just yet. i suppose i would let my husband have some input unless he was talking crazy tryna name my sons Walker and Texas Ranger. 

what are some of your favorite names?

there are good parts

Tuesday, September 9, 2008
being single sucks. it really does. but it has it's perks.

1. no waiting around for that call after some event is over. and when that event should be LONG over you are not sitting there wondering what happened to boo. 
2. no other females doing dumb female sh*t. 
3. no training. rarely do men come already equipped with how to treat me. being single saves me the frustration and disappointment. 
4. no justifying male friends. 
5. no arguments to f*ck up my whole day
6. no wondering if he's wandering

who ya w/?

Monday, September 8, 2008

it's football season. are you excited? well get even more excited because guest blogger Don, of Minus the Bars, will have a weekly post on here! and here is where you come in: leave your favorite team in the comments so Don knows exactly who to pay extra attention to. happy pigskin season!

it was a good idea at the time

have you ever made a purchase and was like, "what a bargain!". like how could you NOT have bought it? that happened to me a little while ago at DSW. i snagged some taupe pumps for less than $30. i figured, everyone needs pumps (it's such a classic shoe); plus wouldn't it be nice to have something other than black and regular brown? i knew they would look great with some trouser jeans. problem: i dont own a pair and it wouldnt be the most sound investment as the office i work in is business casual a.k.a no jeans allowed. no matter how crisp and classy they may look, at the end of the day they are jeans and im not about to try to get away with wearing them until i see at least two people wear them. so what do i wear with these?:

that's not the actual pair but they are very similar (too lazy to take and upload my own pic). basically, taupe is a brownish-grey shade. 

*bonus post* are you ready...

Sunday, September 7, 2008
for some FOOTBALL!!!???? football season is officially underway. i don't count thursday's match up of giants v. redskins. i think it's obvious why i don't. in addition to the obvious reason, i just dont find it fair to bring together the national champions and...them. anyway, my 'boys play today at 4:15. i'm ready for my football fix. im not a fan of pre-season so i didn't watch any of those games. i dont find them to be all that good of a predictor because teams are reluctant to use their starters and star players. i'm most interested in when it COUNTS. 

are you a football fan? who's your team? did you watch any preseason games?

don, where you at, my only male reader (the only one who comments anyway)? get your sports writing on. hey, idea: wanna be a guess blogger and have weekly football posts on my blog? or you can just steal my idea and do it on your own blog. 

elasta QP reflect

Friday, September 5, 2008

i got a free sample of some elasta QP sheen spray and i'll tell you the verdict right now: LOVE IT!
i use this usually before going out and always when i do pin curls. it is not heavy nor oily and leaves a GREAT sheen. go get yours. i dont know what the regular price is because i haven't run out yet (a little goes a long way). you can probably get it for no more than $7. 

mimosa hair honey

Thursday, September 4, 2008
like Product Junkie, i probably need to place myself on probation. the bin that i keep my hair/beauty products in is overflowing. my initial solution would be get a bigger bin. but realistically, a bigger bin would not fit in the limited space that is my bedroom in my parents' house. plus it would not help to curtail my spending habits. so now i have resolved to using up all the stuff in there, no matter how much of an un-favorite it is. so here's a review of one of those non-favorites: carol's daughter's mimosa hair honey. 

this has all the potential to be the best thing ever. no petroleum, no mineral oil, no artificial colors. contains shea butter, cocoa butter, rosemary, lavender, sweet orange essential oil and other natural ingredients. this concoction promises to control frizz and add shine to natural or relaxed hair. that, it did not lie about. but here's the bad. sort of what i call lying by omission, it fails to tell you your hair  will be GREASY. the good is if i apply it with my hair still wet, the curl is maintained and my edges lay down a little better than normal. this conditioning hairdress in an 8 oz. jar is currently priced at $15.50. i SERIOUSLY doubt that is what i paid because i've had it for a WHILE. whatever amount i paid, i will not shell it out again and do recommend that anyone else does either. if you got this as a gift or was at someone's house and needed to use something, go ahead. verdit: just ok

"let the beat hit 'em"

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

visit me on myspace. i promise to update that page...eventually. 

it's about that time

Tuesday, September 2, 2008
is this you?

then it is probably time to take that weave out. how does one know for sure? well, i will tell you. the following are some clues. and by all means, if it starts out looking like any of this, request an immediate refund!

1. your natural hair is no longer "blending"
2. there are tangles and fly-aways
3. the hair no longer appears cut into a style
4. your track is showing
5. the weave does not lay flat enough to your head, appearing natural
6. it...just...looks ratty/like a mop

*did you know?*- i am wearing a weave in my profile pic. if you knew, good eye. i'm not ashamed if you knew because that weave was like 2 months old and i took it out shortly after that pic was taken. 

*bonus post* get mad

Friday, August 29, 2008
McCain went and tried to pick a woman for VP. i dont know. i'm not swayed but i can think of some people who may be. those PUMA people. and clearly they are NOT about party unity. what he might shoulda did was pick a black woman. then again, that might piss off PUMA people because i'm like 75% sure they only hate Obama because he is bi-racial and one of those races is african-american. 

i'm a little confused because he and his supporters wanna pick on my man Barack for being young and inextricably inexperienced. however, i'm not sure how old this woman Palin is but she has only been in office for 2 years. prior to then she was a sports reporter. if his 72- year-old ass dies in office, this no-name chick is next in line. i dont know what creditials she holds that make her an apt candidate for running a nation... i mean and she is responsible for Alaska. what comes from them except eskimos and snow crabs. i think they might have oil, but that's about it... this has been another rant brought by Antithesis. today's product review is below. 

hard as wraps

today, i am reviewing sally hansen's hard as wraps nail polish. this polish contains acrylic gel and nylon with promises of turning brittle nails into strong, fresh-out-of-the-salon nails. uh...not so much. for me, it was just like any other polish. i got "tint" (clear) because im tired of changing my polish with my mood since remover is SO damaging. my nails grow at a good enough rate for me, but they break VERY easily. they are more flexible than i feel like they should be. it didnt help that i got acrylic nails for graduation a few months ago. they still havent fully recovered from that torture (the worst ever in the history of my few times getting nails put on). the product also claimed to last longer on nails than regular polish. again, not true. it began chipping and peeling off the second day.

have you found an effective nail hardener for your nails? or do you just break down and let the asians take care of your manicure needs?
oh yea, 8 IS enough...

more than your allotment

Thursday, August 28, 2008

i was reminded of why i hate riding the bus. i havent really needed to for 2 years now and now that im reliant on public transportation to get me to work/school, i remember why it sucked so bad back in high school. im not the smallest person in the world so i make full use of my allotted square on my seat on the bus. i CANNOT STAND when a person who knows they take up more than that alottment *PLOPS* down next to me. why could you have not chosen to ride in tandem with the 90 lb teen-aged girl a few seats away? simple math says that is she uses about a little more than half the square and you require roughly a square and a half, you both would be more comfortable. what sense does it make to overlap your wide hips w/ mine? all that elbow in my rib cage is not appreciated nor welcomed. i should be allowed to charge your ASS rent! this has been a rant brought to you by Antithesis....


Wednesday, August 27, 2008
...i am so over this dressing up for work sh*t. 

orange is the new green

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

T recently made a post on opening an Orange Savings Account with ING Direct. this bank also offers investment accounts through it's ShareBuilder program. i opened one this weekend. owning stock has been on my mind since junior year of high school. i never had a real job (still don't) so it was not a viable option. it's a bit more plausible now since i have a little bit of reliable income. so monthly i will be investing in Honda. when i get 100 shares of that (at the rate i'm going, the year 3000), i'll probably sell and get stock in an even more lucrative company.

 i'm still learning all about investing and saving so this will be an interesting journey. whenever i get money, i feel overwhelmingly compelled to spend it. looking back over my earnings, i often have very little to show for the money i've spent. this is my first step toward financial independence. yay me!!!!! 

Biden is Obama's running mate

Monday, August 25, 2008

babies and bottles

Thursday, August 21, 2008

so some well-known college and university presidents are advocating for a lower drinking age. shout out to Morehouse being considered a big name school by CNN. so what if it's probably due to the fact that the last graduating class at this historically black institution had a white valedictorian. 

these people think it will be better if 18-year-olds were allowed to legally purchase libations. MADD accuses them of shirking their responsibilities and looking for an easy way out (i agree). it's just a big ass coincidence that 18 is also the age of most traditional freshman college students. MADD and I feel like it's a poor solution to a continuing violation of a rule that apparently administrators are tired of failing to enforce. the presidents argue that if the students were legally able to drink, they would not binge and get themselves into other trouble because of the "excitement"... or some crap. i'm trying to paraphrase their lame justification but i guess it has to first make sense to me for me to do that. 

obviously, many people drink before they are of legal age of consumption. i will admit to being one of those people. but imagine if the stuff was just readily available? no getting older friends to make purchases. no going through the process of getting an authentic-looking fake ID. just completely hassel-free? that's unacceptable. i can recall my maturity level at 18, and while i'm more mature than most, i was certainly not all there. and yes, i know that there was a time when 18 was the legal drinking age. that changed for a reason. let's not repeat history. plus, that was a bit of a different time. not nearly as many cars are on the road and so many other factors were probably not present. 

would it be better or worse if 18-year-olds were legally able to purchase alcoholic beverages?