have you heard it? do you like it? what else is out you like? i have everything and love everything but this is the cd of the week!
It"s just some kind of thing
I'm goin' through
And it's not infatuation
Ain't nothin goin on between
me and you
But I dream about it every night, baby
Wanting you here with me
Making love to me
I'm missin you like crazy
Body and soul is achin'
I'm out of control
Missing you so
I'm missing you
I'm missing you
I'm missing you
I'm not in love,
And that's what I just keep tellin' myself
Over and over again
And I'm not the least bit amused by it, baby
Yet still I don't wanna be with nobody else
No no no
And I dream about you all the time
Touchin' and kissin' me
And makin love to me
God knows I'm tryin to keep you out of my head
I ain't tryin to love no one
I ain't tryin to get hurt again, no
But there's something that just gets in my skin
And all I know is I can't let go
And that's the way it is
oh and this grinds my gears: because the other group had candy, we have to have candy? eventhough our (read "my") game doesn't call for it? ok, fine. you want to take the initiative to purchase said candy? great. you want to split the cost among 6 people? excellent. one bag of candy and i'll give you like a dollar. YOU SPENT $24 ON CANDY FOR A CLASS OF LIKE 20 PEOPLE?! bitch, have you lost your mind?! and you want people to give you $4 for that? it's a recession out here. but guess who's gonna pay it because we evaluate our group members and i cant give them even more reason to mark me down. this is some bullsh*t.
- the folks who comment on my blog- loves yous!!!!!!!!!!! can't say that enough!
- mr.klean- gets...on...my...nerves and i'm 1000% sure i get on his but whatev's. he's here for a reason, i think.
- mr.officer- sooooo quick to tell me about myself but i appreciate his old butt.
- mr.untouchable- 'bout to call him mr. lifesaver because he stay on that rescue tip. plus he's pretty cool when he wanna be
- chantastic a.k.a chanteezy a.k.a c.Ant- this chick....man, i love her like...like i don't even know but she's my wifey if there ever was such a thing for me
- marquitas- i don't remember why her name is plural but it is. that's my other wife. ALL HOMO!
- jaz and t- there are no words. they are the truth out here, ok?
- dee- this bitch is a mess but she's also the best!
- the jacksons- i run away to their house on the regular because i <3>big brother- goes without saying because he does what big brothers do. #3 strongest man in MD so don't f*ck w/ me!
- the list could go on but imma end w/ this one: the rest of my fam especially grandma Price: HAPPY BDAY, GRANNY!!!!!!!!!
aiight let's carve the turkey and bust open some of auntie's banana pudding...
- when my knee locks up and aches for the rest of the day
- when i have a REALLY bad cold. like phlem and all that. the only good part of that mess is my sexy voice (think pheobe on "friends"; hell yea, i watched that!)
- when a child is abused
- when my favorite shows are preempted by something boring/irrelevant to my life
- hang nails
- being followed by lame dudes in the club (no i take that back. i would rather a lame dude follow me in the club than look at spencer pratt for 2 seconds)
- throwing up. that's a tough-y because everytime he does something, i throw up a little in my mouth
- the one thing i hate more than him individually is the fact that Speidi got effing MARRIED. nothing is sacred...omg is they had a kid??? a devil spawn??? that would pretty much undo every good thing that has happened this year.
i dont know why i hate him so much. maybe it's his shitty, rude disposition or the fact that i think that if i touched him it would be sticky and possibly smell bad. he looks like his breath stinks. it's as if his facial hair is clear and it's creepy as f*ck. i would post a pic or vid here but it disturbs me too much. you just have to watch the hells (read "the hills") yourself...
but anyway, i seriously get that alot. like "when was your last relaxer". i never had one. thought about getting one but was advised against it but i flat iron the mess outta my head such that if i take my time and do it, it looks relaxed. my aunt warned me that if i kept doing that, my hair wouldn't revert and it would take on that relaxed appearance and she was right because i have what appears to be new growth. so with that problem i always vascillate between "growing it out" and just burning up the roots enough to have it blend with the rest. right now, im just going to go ahead and keep getting roller sets although they dont really look all that cute to me. other people like it on me so i guess that's all that matters.
...and that is what my hair is doing
i can float i can fly us to the highest
mountain top i can breathe you, i can drink in your laugh
i can... i can live on your smile i can trip but if i can fall into your arms i can
stay there my whole life
i can live
i can love
i can be better with you,
i can hear
i can feel
i can see
i can tell
you are for real
i can stare; i can memorize your face, your hands, your hair
every part of you
i can speak to you so honestly i can't even run any game
i can hear a million angels singing in my ear
when I say your name
i can't smile, can't dream like a child
can't feel safe in this wide world without you
c can't go can't disturb this flow
can't begin to know what I would do
i can't see, can't find strength to be
rather not be me without you
i can't deal, i can't even feel,
how we met: i was somewhere i didnt wanna be. howard's homecoming, there was a kappa house party and my friend promised the host she would attend and she REALLY wanted me to accompany her. T can attest to the fact that i was ill because i sounded like brandy sounds when she sings. he struck up a convo because that's just the extroverted dude that he is. i thought i did something rude so to compensate later, i alerted him to my departure and he requested an exchange of contact information.
why i like him: he has that certain je' ne se cois (pardon my poor french spelling but i mean "i dont know what"). he is very sexy. he's like a little thing...plus, he didn't come at me with the wackness i've grown so accustomed to since my return to the metro area. he has a great taste in movies and music, two things that are seriously important to me.
so what's wrong with him?: just a few things. mainly things that bother me because he is so much like that one dude who broke my heart in a million pieces. i think it's an aquarian thing, though.
overall, i really like this dude. it scares the hell outta me because i fall quickly and when i do i fall HARD. i have this unshakeable feeling that if that happens he will break my heart and i still dont know if i can handle that. i guess im jazmine sullivan right now. im on my lions and tigers and bears shit. so that explains why i sometimes wanna run but i'm scared of losing out.
it's my parents' anniversary today, but i guess that doesn't mean much. they're part of the reason marriage/divorce scares me.
- you know i go to 11 o'clock service on sunday. why would you get up like right before 10 and take a shower or probably bath (i don't know what you were doing in there) knowing we have slight drainage issues? further, why would you do that with plans to go NOWHERE? yes, i share a bathroom with my mother because she and my dad don't sleep in the same bedroom. another issue but whatever...
- i'm on a certain diet called "eating to stay alive" and i buy some of my own groceries. i can't get into why there's no food hardly ever in the house but i will say another reason i buy my own stuff is i do south beach sometimes, when im not being lazy and fat. so ANYWAY. if i buy bottled water to take to school/work what makes you think you need to sit at home all day drinking it instead of just getting water from the 'fridge???
- also, what happened to the walnuts i bought? those things are not cheap. further, how you gonna buy another pack in a SMALLER size than i originally bought?
- so you're not even going to ask if i wanna see the macy's circular before putting it in the recycle bin?
- if i parked my car already, why do you need to come out and re-park it? also, in order to do that, did you really need to adjust ALL my settings? mirrors all f*cked up and seat all up in the steering wheel. also, i swore i had more gas than this...
- if you are home all week, why do i need to compete with you to wash clothes on the weekends? i should only have to really compete with dad...
- the i-don't-know-what sexiness of mr. untouchable and mr. klean
- the generousity, thoughtfulness, and endowment of mr. officer
- the sensitivity and conscientiousness of BFF
- the freaky nature of mr. klean
- the sports team preferences of mr. fanatic
- the literary ability of don
- the musical tastes of mr. klean
- you and i are over the age of 18; you much further away than me but that's irrelevant
- they serve food at that establishment so why not just eat there???
- i never agreed to go out with you
- i don't recall inviting you to speak to me
- the fuck?! like does that impress all the hoes or did you just think that would work with me because i appear to be very young?
- seriously, Dave and Buster's???
- no, really? is that the best you could come up with?
- yea...i wouldn't even tell people that
i don't know whose loss it is, but i GUARANTEE it ain't mine, honey. let's not forget, you stepped to me and i acquiesced. also, who does that line ever actually work with? do you say that shit and the bitch be like, "well, in that case..."? or, "since you put it like that". like the girls at Spelman love to say, "nigga, kill yo'self". it won't fly w/ this chica. honestly, that wouldnt have even worked years ago when i admit i did some ignorant shit when it came to dudes. plus back then, i probably would have cursed your dumb ass out with no hesistation. now, contrary to popular belief, i'm much more polite and i simply say, "if that's how you feel". i guess that catches you idiots off guard 'cause maybe that line actually does work and your used to it working. so you wanna follow it up with some nonsense about the availability of other women. i'm aware that there are other females who fuck it up for upstanding ladies like myself by giving in to your outlandish demands, and with that i respond, "do what you must"/ "do what ever you think you need to do".
let me explain something to you. it's new. it's called "long hair, don't care". in the words of my role model, Karen Walker, "honey, i don't care". i cannot stress it enough. it's just annoying that several guys have tried this mess with me.
what am i talking about? i'm talking about you acting like it was a blessing for me that we met. that my life was in shambles and you are here to save me. like your dick is like fresh, flowing water and i'm in the desert. stop telling me, "if you play your cards right..." because in saying that, you are playing YOUR cards WRONG. look guy, YOU are the one would approached ME. my life was great before you came and most-likely it will be better if you were never a part of it. arrogance is not an attractive quality. confidence is, but you have an ill-defined notion of it and exude this disgusting bullshit that oozes from your ears.
so this is how it goes. you approach me. you may or may not give me some decent conversation. at my discretion, we exchange information. you call because i don't do that. you talk about how much you like this and that about me. how great the conversation was (even if we'd had none, so thats the first red flag). then you tell me how i need to do something bordering on inconvenient and possibly dangerous in order to be with you. *record skips* whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. call me old- fashioned but it is you, sir, who must put forth the effort. it don't care if it's the year 3000, you better do what they did in the 1920s (that's an exaggeration, but i'm sayin'). don't play. you gonna respect me or you can get gone.
my flare might be my new hair. it has been an influx of approaches as of late and i deduce that it is attributable to this weave. that or the fact that my hair actually appears done a lot more often.... one of those things. im almost certain.
my other flare are my dimples. most people like my smile. so many people like my glasses that one of my favorites picked out. it's funny that i almost wouldn't even try them on. those are all the attractive qualities i can think of that i have.
his thought process: she looks like she has low self-esteem. let me see if i can sleep with her.
his thought process: i'm feeling a little better-looking today. let me see if i have a shot
him: (i hate to call anyone this) ugly
his thought process: i've been told 'no' plenty of times so what's one more?
his thought process: just let her be over 18
his thought process: he doesn't know he's lame so it's business as usual. he doesn't think anything, he just goes for it.
his thought process: *singing* "...'cause i only got one night in town. break down or be clowned. babygirl are you down?"
him: short (but taller than me)
his thought process: she's actually shorter than me! i gotta see what's up.
him: short (shorter than me)
his thought process: i have no idea; gotta be outta his mind...
did i leave anyone out?
with that said, how come i keep getting approached by settle-able guys? unsavory characters (the phrase of the month), short guys, thin dudes, disrespectful hooligans: they all want to approach me with wackness.
i dont think i ask for much. i ask that your bitchassness be on 0 and at most at any time on 10%. i recognized that there is a such thing as a man period and i allow for that once a month. i simply ask that you have a goal and be actively working toward it. you do not have to have the salary or position you ultimately want right now but you need be making strides. if that means going to school and filling this position, then that's what that means. just be doing SOMETHING. most other qualities are evaluated on a case-by-case basis. however, i do have a height and weight requirement. you must be at least this tall (5'10") to ride this ride. we can be friends all day long but "you know we aint fuckin' if you not thick". the smallest that is acceptable is 180 lbs and i'm putting you on a meat and potatoes diet.
is that too much to ask?
- i would be a sharp dresser because boy clothes are always on sale. i'm guessing because they rarely shop. they shop out of necessity, whereas we stay in the store.
- sorry but i'd be happy making more money doing the same job as a woman. so i would eat that right up. i wouldn't gloat about it but i wouldn't complain either. i'm no politician so why pretend? it's a good deal...
- also, it would be more socially acceptable for me to be overweight so no dieting and all that nonsense.
- i would break exponentially more hearts than i would have had broken. i know i would be "raised right" and all but it's natural course of development to break hearts (mostly unintentionally).
- i used to think i would be a short boy but my brother is 6'4". my dad is 5'8 on his tallest day of the year. kevin's mom is 5'4"-ish (not sure i met her 2x). so anything is possible...
- doin' 90 on the highway WITH cops around and no one giving a f*ck
- that one movie theater no one knows about but me
- my old one bedroom apt.
- meeting my true spelman sisters. "spelman sister" in the sense that that's not what you call just any fool who walked through the gates.
- the distance from my parents
- the fact that i drove EVERYWHERE such that i could avoid "hollers" from unsavory characters
- getting most things in life for free or really cheap
- hearing those horrible but catchy songs that only sound good in the club before everyone else
- walking right into (literally) mannie fresh thinking "was that...?" and continuing into the store unphased/other "celebrity" encounters. who stands at the bottom of an escalator? rappers/producers, i guess...
- little 5 points
- every store i like is never in one mall
- the damn MARTA. i almost died on there. TWICE. true story
- august 5, 2007- that bitch ran in the back of me and subsequently almost completely ruined my senior year
- too far to drive, too expensive to fly (for homecoming)
- the gate at my complex being wide open on the regular and management actually thinking they justified it with their excuse
- the language the natives speak
- how is there no 7-eleven in the state of GA???
- the distance from my nieces and sister and brother
- people who say "A U Center"; just say AUC...
- how at Subway they dont have the hot pepper sauce. you know the sauce i'm talking about?
why is this important for you to know? many of the posts written on this blog are written days, maybe even as much as a week, in advance. those sentiments may not be the most accurate reflection of my life at the time of viewing.
scroll down to read my post for today
anyway, mr.untouchable is what i call the man who has my thoughts captive. everything would be so great if he weren't "untouchable". i can literally touch him, obviously, and i exploit any opportunity to do so. but he is untouchable because he is committed to another. i refuse to be the one to bestow hurt on another woman because i would HATE to be in her shoes. plus if he's the type of guy i hope him to be, he wouldn't allow that. he is also untouchable because i'm no one's back-up plan or second choice. if they were to break up for some unfortunate reason, i can't say i'd be thrilled if he looked my way. also, i'm not sure of his feelings and understandably he could not fully express them if he had any.
rational me says, "he's taken; move on". that's difficult. not many men attract me and the ones that do not in such a way. he is so physically AND mentally attractive to me. he is not perfect. i think that's the thing that keeps me in check. if i just thought this was the perfect man for me, i probably would go pretty hard at him regardless of the fact that there is another person involved. or maybe not so much because i've been there and done that. i got the results i wanted but in the long run (like 4 years later) that dude was not THAT DUDE. i just wanna be over it already, for real.
so that's my mr.untouchable.
- i used to have my tongue pierced
- i am the most indecisive person you will ever meet
- im a libra to the very definition of one
- i have almost completely lost faith that i will find my match
- i am extremely uncomfortable with sitting or having my bed in front of a window
being asked questions like that is annoying in itself. it's like when you are about to graduate from somewhere and people ask, "so what are you going to do next?" i find those "get-to-know-you" questions so annoying. "oh, what's your major/program?" "what do you do?" "explain that..." i guess it's necessary but i prefer converstations that aren't an interrogation.
am i being difficult. is counseling really vague? also, why is there an assumption that i will do just one type?
allow me to add: i HATE when people reply with, "so is that like social work?" fool, if it was social work i would have said "social work". people get on my nerves...
another from the elasta qp line. basically, these people have made what black women have been doing for years, a combo of grease and gel. this was my go-to hair product for my junior high days. i revisited it recently to get those pesky edges to lie down. back in 7th and 8th grade, i didnt know better so i pretty much used it on my whole head. because the product is so greasy, i only recommend it for taming that "baby hair". it's about $3or $4 so you have very little to use by trying it. i cannot stress enough NOT using it all over unless you do not want your hair to move. it's flexible and pliable but will not blow in the wind.
this is a product from TRESemme's thermal creations line. i had a bottle two years ago and it got ruined on one my mini excursions. between the time of ruining and now, i hadnt been pressing my hair much so i didnt really have a need for it. i didnt realize how much it had been missed until i bought a FHI flat iron. not gonna review that because there is plenty of internet evidence that that line of irons is HOT! whenever you apply heat, you need a heat protectant and this is it. it's budget-friendly because it is often available for $2.99 at CVS. it will last forever because you REALLY do not need much. the drawback is it contains alcohol. but doesnt everything (heat protector-wise) these days?
i got a free sample of some elasta QP sheen spray and i'll tell you the verdict right now: LOVE IT!
today, i am reviewing sally hansen's hard as wraps nail polish. this polish contains acrylic gel and nylon with promises of turning brittle nails into strong, fresh-out-of-the-salon nails. uh...not so much. for me, it was just like any other polish. i got "tint" (clear) because im tired of changing my polish with my mood since remover is SO damaging. my nails grow at a good enough rate for me, but they break VERY easily. they are more flexible than i feel like they should be. it didnt help that i got acrylic nails for graduation a few months ago. they still havent fully recovered from that torture (the worst ever in the history of my few times getting nails put on). the product also claimed to last longer on nails than regular polish. again, not true. it began chipping and peeling off the second day.
i was reminded of why i hate riding the bus. i havent really needed to for 2 years now and now that im reliant on public transportation to get me to work/school, i remember why it sucked so bad back in high school. im not the smallest person in the world so i make full use of my allotted square on my seat on the bus. i CANNOT STAND when a person who knows they take up more than that alottment *PLOPS* down next to me. why could you have not chosen to ride in tandem with the 90 lb teen-aged girl a few seats away? simple math says that is she uses about a little more than half the square and you require roughly a square and a half, you both would be more comfortable. what sense does it make to overlap your wide hips w/ mine? all that elbow in my rib cage is not appreciated nor welcomed. i should be allowed to charge your ASS rent! this has been a rant brought to you by Antithesis....
T recently made a post on opening an Orange Savings Account with ING Direct. this bank also offers investment accounts through it's ShareBuilder program. i opened one this weekend. owning stock has been on my mind since junior year of high school. i never had a real job (still don't) so it was not a viable option. it's a bit more plausible now since i have a little bit of reliable income. so monthly i will be investing in Honda. when i get 100 shares of that (at the rate i'm going, the year 3000), i'll probably sell and get stock in an even more lucrative company.