Ask Weezy

Friday, May 30, 2008
look what i found on
vh-1 managed to get lil' wayne to answer fan mail on camera. silly questions and more silly answers. he makes some valid points but this man is sooooo ignorant. hilarity ensues. watch the video in its entirety and then you gain access to the rest.

"just my thoughts"

Wednesday, May 28, 2008
"whatever i was feelin' at the time"

* everyone doesn't do it in four years and i was so busy with school, i couldn't graduate from you.

*when the whites came to africa and saw the people and decided they did not like them, why didn't they just back away slowly? why did they decide to bring them where they were so they can have a constant reminder of what they hated (and were envious of)? that's like me saying, "i HATE salmon! let me buy some, put it on my plate where every other thing i like is, eat around it and occassionally prod it with my fork. then, let me sit it in the window in the sun and get all nasty and loathe it from a distance, disgusted by what it's become..."

*you're pooped and i'm pissed: that didn't last long enough

*some days, i feel like i attended Spelman Sleep-Away Camp for adults

*slap a blonde wig on it and call it a new sound!

the more you know

Friday, May 23, 2008

this is 75 things Esquire thinks a man should be able to do: The 75 Skills Every Man Should Master.

it is advised that a man be able to cook meat other than on a grill (grill is personally more important to me b/c i dont enjoy being near them), not monopolize the conversation (that should be on there twice), and  write a letter. Additionally, they thought being able to write a thank you note required a separate listing. my favorite? "give a woman an orgasm so that he doesn't have to ask after it". 

i dont know if i care if someone who is courting me can do all of the things listed. further, i think some of them are abilities that women should possess as well. which do you like or dislike? 

why i am single

Thursday, May 22, 2008
  • i have no patience
  • i want my way all the time
  • it's hard to sleep with someone else in the bed (especially if they snore)
  • i don't like to cook everyday (not even every week)
  • most days i look a scary hot mess and i'm comfortable with that because i'm not going anywhere
  • i value alone time probably way more than any other individual on the planet
  • most males my age are ineligible to court me
  • marriage is not a current interest of mine (although engagement and bachelorette parties, weddings, and honeymoons sound fun!)
  • i'm more focused on trying to establish myself financially
  • grad school is no joke
  • i don't handle disappointment well (you have to do what you say you will do unless i really feel like you have a valid excuse and even then, it's difficult)
  • i'm selfish
  • i can be really mean for little to no reason
  • every man i like lives somewhere else and/or is in my imagination
happy birthday to the greatest man i know, DADDY! 

will and grace quotes to live by

Wednesday, May 21, 2008
1. unless you're served in a frosted glass, never come within 4 ft. of my lips- karen
i ask that people not invite themselves into my personal space. 

2. listen MisterSister...- jack
i have nothing against gay men. however, when they are disrespectful to me for no reason, they can expect the preceding words followed by some sort of covert insult. 

3. honey, i don't care- karen
i know what you are saying bears some sort of significance in someone's life but not mine and usually not yours. sometimes i'm not in the mood for gossip. and contrary to your belief, the meaning of my AIM screename is not "tell me something no one should care about ever".

4. *knocking*
      Grace: who is it?
      *more knocking*
     Grace: *louder* who is it? 
     *more knocking*
     *Grace opens door*
honey, i dont yell- karen

i am not going to argue with you. very rarely are you going to get me to raise my voice at you. i will state my case in my normal tone and as your voice gets elevated and i decide you are no longer listening, i will stop talking. at that point, since everything each of us is saying is moot and neither of us is listening, there are only two options. they are: you leave my presence or you hit me and we fight. since we are no longer in grade school, the latter is HIGHLY unlikely. but i won't yell and curse you'll be doing that by yourself. 

5. honey that's just a saying like, "gee, that sounds like fun" or "i love you"- karen
people throw "i love you" around like it's "hello". i hate that crap. seriously, i was taught not to use words i dont know the meaning of and the same applies for phrases. if you don't REALLY know what it means, don't use it. also, if you don't REALLY mean it, don't say it. 

-to be continued, maybe-

look-y look-y

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

movie nostalgia

Monday, May 19, 2008
A League of Their Own

i always think about what kind of professor i would be. if i taught women's studies, this would be a required film. it teaches the concepts and it's comical.
careers and higher education are leading to the masculinization of women, with enormously dangerous consequences to the home, the children, and our country. When our boys come home from war, what kind of girls will they be coming home to? And now the most disgusting example of this sexual confusion: Mr. Walter Harvey of Harvey bars is presenting us with women's baseball. Right here in Chicago, young girls plucked from their families are gathered at Harvey Field, to see which one of them can be the most masculine. Mr. Harvey, like your candy bars, you're completely... nuts. 
  -woman on the radio

i watched this when i was younger with my older brother. the first time watching it, i remember thinking why would he be interested in this movie? i can;t remember why i liked it so much at the time because i didnt get nearly half the jokes. all i know is i so wanted to be a Rockford Peach (but i would later learn just how impractical those uniforms were when i played softball in high school). 


Sunday, May 18, 2008
i cant mail you all announcements but today is the day! i received my B.A. in Psychology from Spelman College in Atlanta, GA. 

"flashing lights"

Thursday, May 15, 2008
Thursday- "Cosmopolitan"

i have decided i am not going to go *tear*. the weather is not conducive to the outfit i had planned to wear. also, the location is too far to travel in this type of rain in atlanta at night. atlanta drivers are the worst in broad daylight... 

all is not lost. my friend and i will find a way to party around where we live. i will dress comfortably and share drinks and merriment with friends. i'll show you what i was going to wear so you understand why i would not want to wear that in the rain. 

in other news, mommy and daddy are here! auntie and uncle (my favorite) will be here tomorrow and sister and brother will be here saturday, plus brother-in-law and nieces! so excited!

"diamonds and pearls"

Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Wednesday- Senior Soiree and "Black and White"

i didnt go to the b/w party. i knew in  advance that the cover would be too steep. $30+ is too much for any club, especially a monochromatic themed party. pre-sale tix were $25 and my limit for any given night is $20 because i do have bills and it aint in me to give away $100 to people who are far more affluent than me. but enough about that. i went to the Spelman College-sponsored Senior Soiree, a night celebrating the accomplishments of the senior class. it was an official welcome into alumnae-hood. afterwards, we went to rusans for sushi. i had a small get-together at my apt. (sorry no pics from that).  *update* i heard people paid $40 to get in the b/w party. 

Got Money

i strongly love/hate him. he is ILL, not sick....but in an annoying/ignorant way. i might actually be dumber from having listened to him so much.

*totatlly irrelevant to this post* but i just realized i did not stay until the club's closing on either night. sort of unheard of for me. and it's weird because these have been a couple of the best club nights ive ever had. oh well... 

"beach chair"

Tuesday Beach/Luau recap:

  • baby girl is FUCKED UP
  • i had on a white halter and plaid bermudas with turquoise sandals
  • i pregamed w/ my girl april: screwdrivers
  • got in for $15 (shoulda been free but whateve')
  • music was crap, seriously
  • paid $10 for an apple martini and i really should have stopped there
  • free glass of champagne
  • ol' boy who used to try to talk to me back in october was like drink the rest of this hen and coke. my dumb ass said "OK" (he's probably going to call me tomorrow, oh no!)
  •  then he said "what should i get next?" i said, "shot of 151". they didn't have that. in the words of my ex, "what the shit?" then i said "shot of patron" he said "let me get two".
  • i had a shot of patron and was done for the nite. yes, i mixed brown and white. 
  • did i mention i was driver for the nite?
  • i got us home in one piece. so here i am, THANK GOD, sharing with you my night. 
  • oh, i wanted to take a beach ball home but LAMES kept knocking them outta my hand...

"doin' the butt"

Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Monday- 80s/90s party recap
  • had a GREAT time
  • paid NOTHING to get in
  • paid $3 for some shot that wasn't worth it
  • paid $9  for a patron margarita
  • music was great (the best DJ job in my  ATL club experience) until about 2:15, at which point i needed to make my departure
  • people were not AS obnoxious as usual

*night night*


Monday, May 12, 2008

it is that time. it's senior week: the week prior to graduation filled with incessant partying!

party line-up:
Monday- 80s/90s party: i'm going
Tuesday- Beach/Luau: again, going
Wednesday- Black and White: hey, why not?
Thursday- Cosmopolitan: yea, i'm in there
Friday- Lingerie: are you stupid? NOT going!
Saturday- something Clark Atlanta- only: *shrugs*  

i'll post my outfits, misadventures, and the like everyday this week. i'll let you know if i actually got in, how much i paid and where i went if i didn't get in, too! i can't promise pics because i'm terrible at remembering my camera...

he said, she said

this is a long one. summary: lil wayne rhymed over Ciara's Promise beat. later, i wrote my own version. if you are familiar with the song already, you can just scroll down to what i said. 

LIL WAYNE- PROMISE (freestyle)

damn she bad.. damn she thick
and i may not know perfect, but damn she it,
and she thick and she right,
damn she nice,
you can be my judge baby, yeah i do life,
give me life..
and i know that you be dancin til your toes hurt,
but i can make your toes curl,
i can make your soul jerk,
we can soul search,
and i also got that street credit i got more work... than any dude.. you .. knew
girl i am a blood "su wu"
i hear you want somebody you can call boo,
i will change my name to boo and fuck around and call you,
now what you wanna do?
because whateva that may be, baby, i wan`do that too,
& ooh i could g.p.s. you, what you goin through,
like a pair of wet & sticky vickys, girl, im on you,
ok ma.. the mood is so right, light,
two can take flight,
my big girl T.I. is the king i am the prince your knight,
right? you dont need a superman you just need a man like weezy
and i could make you feel the same way,
we could postpone and stay home like a rain day,
she'll have the salad just put her on wayne's plate,
what you know 'bout havin syrup poured on that pancake?
nasty as i want to be or nasty as you like me to be,
i hope you like me too now you know i like you too..3am room service,
serve can be my dessert be my caramel sherbet,
call you mama we can make a baby,
and the way you work that mic in the video is so crazy,
and that chair or stool.. move.. was cool,
you make me wanna ooh..
imma be cool i need a moment,
i think you are the finest human on earth,
we can get together i can help you with that homework.. take your ass to school too.. woo
teach you all the rules you never knew.. we need a moment we need a moment
i can be your future, i could be your teacher, be your professor. write down this lecture,
you want some extra credit?? let me check your home work..
i can be your tutor and help you with exams,
no failin' or its summer time for you,
you got them goodies and i got a sweet tooth,
now can yall blame me??shit Hov got B and i just want CiCi
i just want to see if you're taller then me,
no really i wanna see if you're my Mrs. Carter to be,
yeah i know this is pretty awkward for me but i just act like you are talkin to me when you say...

"ohh i mean everything that i say.... fom the bottom of heart....i would never, never ever hurt u..i open my heart (open my heart)"

believe that.. and i agree that,
open up your heart to me and you wont get your key back,
Ms. Ciara you are colder than blue and baby i aint talkin to no body else but you..

My Reply:

Damn he fine and he smart
And he may not be perfect, but he’s a start
And he nice and he write
He could rhyme, maybe, and he’d be tight
And I'm right
I know you be putting in that hard work
But I could work you harder
I would push you farther
Rewards are hard-earned
And you can get some extra credit… I got more love… than any chick… you… met
Boy, you know I keep it wet
I hear you looking for someone that you can talk to
I can listen well and, nigga, I can talk to
So what’s the subject, boo?
Cause whateva that may be I can hold a convo, too
I could cook dinner for you, what you want for food?
Like your most favorite cologne, boy, I am on you
Ok, Pa, the mood is so right, right
Music, candlelight
My baby, you are the shit my knight
Bright and shinin’ armor but you don’t need it, I would nev’ harm ya
And I hope you would do the same
Cause if not, nigga, that would make you lame, babe
you are my match, i am so wild and you are tame
crazy as i wanna be or crazy as you like me to be
i like your attitude and i hope you like me we can get away
escape...we can take weekend trips or can go on vacations
call me mama, i will have your baby
i just hope you know that our baby will be so crazy
but anything you
you make me wanna...ooh
but imma be good in just a moment
just as soon as i get you in this bedroom
when the day is over and soon as you get home from work...take you to the room too...woo
make you do the things you never do...we need a moment we need a moment
i can be your future, i can be your wifey, be your companion
if we can stand it
you want some support? i can be your confidant and help with finances
no quittin' or it's bankrupcy for you
you got your shit and i got mine too
now can you blame me?
i had B but now i want V
maybe because he is taller than me
no, really cause i dont know who else it'll be
yeah i kno.. this is pretty awkward for me but i just act like you are talkin to me when you say...

...believe that? you guarantee that?  if i open up my heart to you will i get my key back? Mr. Right i dont even know you but i aint talkin to nobody else but you.

*B and V are no longer in my life

"beyonce- & jay-z-in'"

Friday, May 9, 2008
i coined a phrase. it means we're connected while disconnected. i was beyonce- and jay-z-ing all last weekend with my beau. i always wanted to use that word. anyway, we've been chillin' on the couch with our laptops looking up stuff (because we're dorks), discussing sports news, and battling our itunes. so much fun!

i'm going to get a t-shirt with a link to this post...

Wednesday, May 7, 2008
...and i'll probably place a copy of this info. in the envelope for my announcements. here are the answers to frequently asked questions:

1. Q: when is graduation?
A (i want to give): if you have to ask, you are not invited or you don't matter
A (i will give): May 18th

2. Q: what are doing after graduation?
A: graduate school- George Washington University, M.A. Community Counseling

3. Q: What do you want to do with that?
A: *pause and blank stare* i want to be a counselor. no particular type, just a counselor. i'll do marriage, substance abuse,
guidance, whatev'.
4. Q: Where are you going to live?
A: *wonders if you are offering room/board* with my parents, rent free

5. Q: Are you sure you want to be back home with your parents?
A: *still wonders if you are 'putting in on this'* YES

6. Q: Really? You are going to work full-time, too?
A: *seriously, are you feeling like a philanthropist?* yes, if someone will hire me in this economy.

7. Q: How was Spelman? (or some variation thereof)
A: i cannot sum up 4 years of my life nor can i create a visual for you to understand an experience that is different for
everyone. in general, college is what you make it. the name of the school changes but little else. i will suffice it to say
"good or bad, i am richer for the experience".

6 quirky things about me (tag)

Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Tracee tagged me.

1. i have to eat my food one at a time and different things cannot touch

2. if there is a wedding in the vicinity of me i MUST see the dress

3. my accent changes depending on who i am speaking to and/or what i am speaking about

4. i didnt get my license until i was 19 because i was terrified of being behind the wheel

5. i only wrote and ate with my left hand until i was about 16. i played sports and things like that as if i was right-handed

6. i said this to my brother and meant it: 
him: you gonna have to do what i did and live at home until you get established; you're not living with me. 
me: that defeats the purpose of being born last. what do i need other siblings for? if i wanted to do what you did, i would have been born in the middle. 

The Rules:
Link the person who tagged you. Mention the rules in your blog. Tell about six unspectacular quirks of yours. Tag six following bloggers by linking them. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged.

im not gonna tag anyone

what becomes of the broken hearted

Monday, May 5, 2008

Happy Birthday to my big brother, Kevin.

A Millie

Sunday, May 4, 2008
i love/hate this man! he makes me laugh so much 'cause he brings the metaphors and similes that are off the wall. truly a martian! oh, mr.carter/mr.lawnmower, why won't your album be available for me to bump in my ride during senior week?

why am i not smart?

Friday, May 2, 2008
i often find myself wondering "why are you not smart? what school system has failed you?" when interacting with others. i have to explain my sense of humor, define vocabulary, or provide multiple examples. it gets so annoying. but i've come to realize that what others are lacking in book smarts, i often lack in common sense. 

there are some things i should have known a long time ago. the last time i communicated with my most recent ex i said " took me a lot longer to realize that i am not what you want and you are not what i need". "it took me a lot longer..." he knew long before me he did not love me and never would. now i realize that it was his loss but STILL. why did it take me so damn long? 

the real problem is the one guy. four years ago when i was graduating, he wasn't around. he didnt take me to my prom eventhough i went to his two years before.  i let him back into my life and here i am about to graduate and we dont speak. i feel like i should have known back in '04 that he was not the male for me. if i didnt know for that reason, there were others that should have told me to let that male go. i wont call him a man because he is not and it will be a long time before he is one. 

so here i am disappointed. in him and in myself. i should have known better. i should know better. he would say "you think too much". at that time, i really didnt think enough. now, because of him and the others, i may really be thinking too much and this man who loves me now might really love me. sadly, i can't love him back...

hey, love: dont call me anymore! we are not friends!

My Love

Thursday, May 1, 2008