there are some things i should have known a long time ago. the last time i communicated with my most recent ex i said "...it took me a lot longer to realize that i am not what you want and you are not what i need". "it took me a lot longer..." he knew long before me he did not love me and never would. now i realize that it was his loss but STILL. why did it take me so damn long?
the real problem is the one guy. four years ago when i was graduating, he wasn't around. he didnt take me to my prom eventhough i went to his two years before. i let him back into my life and here i am about to graduate and we dont speak. i feel like i should have known back in '04 that he was not the male for me. if i didnt know for that reason, there were others that should have told me to let that male go. i wont call him a man because he is not and it will be a long time before he is one.
so here i am disappointed. in him and in myself. i should have known better. i should know better. he would say "you think too much". at that time, i really didnt think enough. now, because of him and the others, i may really be thinking too much and this man who loves me now might really love me. sadly, i can't love him back...
hey, love: dont call me anymore! we are not friends!