Day 05 – Your definition of love

I'm doing another one of these. Today's topic? Defining love. I wrote a poem in HS called "4 letter word". I described what I thought love was at the time. My parents were the only ones who got it. I think some of my friends did, too. Most adults thought the word was "hate" or that I was cussing. I didn't care. You don't force someone to enter a spoken word competition as part of an extracurricular activity. So maybe I was cursing, just a little bit. At the time, whatever it was I wrote was my definition of love. I think I've posted it on here long ago when i first started this blog so if you're interested in knowing what a 16 year old thought love was, try your hand at searching.

8 years later, I dont have a definition of love (not platonic). I have a vision of love. That's right, #MariahCareyFlow. I envision love being a limitless connection to another person. I think that if I one day found love, it with be with someone with whom I had mutual respect. Someone who I could accept wholly, flaws and all and would accept me in the same manner. Someone who not only shared things in common with me but also created a balance for my personality. For example, I'm high strung so I would want my love to be my voice of reason and a little more easy-going. I think love is knowing someone's limitations and coming to their aid rather than ridiculing them. I think people are a unique combination of needs and gifts and that the person they love fits those needs and gifts in such a way that that bond is not easily broken #MorrisChestnut.

am i missing something?

there has been a rash of nuptuals and engagements in my world. did i miss the memo on some incentive for doing this? is there a get-married-or-engaged-in-2010 special?

but im serious.

im the girl who no one asked to prom so...if there's something good to be gotten out of this chances are, i wont get it. im the girl dudes just fuck for a while and if im lucky, he'll take me out to eat or to a movie every now and again. having a boyfriend is pretty much foreign territory to me and now folks are saying marriage is the thing to do.

cut to me sitting over a married friend's house one evening. friend's cousin (to be married in sept.) after having met me a few times and never heard mention of an SO finally asked was i even in a relationship. maybe my limited interest in her wedding planning and relationship discussion was being picked up one. wasnt trying to be rude, just had nothing to contribute. i have no way to relate to someone's fiance trying to enpregnate them prior to the wedding.

so anyway she asks and i respond that i am not seeing anything. and her follow up question was basically like there must be something wrong with you. something like "are you just focusing on career/school or...?" the honest response, which i gave, has nothing to do with school. this was on the heels of seeing "nene eye" so i was in no mood to even think about emotional shit. then she asked how old i was and she gave me what ive been getting "oh when i was 23 i felt that way too". but she also added that she was engaged, too and im like "nice". i dont know if she was trying to be hurtful (i doubt it) but i was kind of hurt.

because im 23 and not seeing anyone seriously, it must be because im focused on career? i almost wonder if she was hoping i'd come "out" to her. she offered some mild reassurance about hopefully i'll begin dating a different kind of person as i get older. i felt as if marriage was mandatory.

if it is, i probably will NOT be meeting that mandate.

i titled this post "am i missing something". i think the short answer is: i am not. an answer requiring further explanation is: maybe so.

it's done. it's over.

i felt a few mixed emotions about this issue yesterday. ive come to the decide that it's ok for him to think he loves me or is in love with me or has love for me or however he wishes to describe his feelings. what he feels isnt any of my business. i cant look at him and see the pain in his face and feel it for him. i cant take on that responsibility. i wasnt hurting like that when i decided not to speak to him. not to say i didnt feel anything, just nothing to that extent. only my feelings are of consequence. taking my feelings into consideration, his inability to love me in the way i want to be loved (not read as in the way i choose to love) causes me heartache and discontentment (is that a word? if not, it's a mistake and it stays). i have to emphasize that it's not so important that a man shows me and makes me feel his love in the way i choose to express my love but it is rather important that he expresses his love in a way that is condusive to my needs. everyone has their own form of expression but i need his form to fit me and mine his. i also think that the way i love does not fit him. or maybe it does and he didnt realize it and that is what he is referring to when he says he didnt know what he had. ive also decided to not be indecisive for once. i left and i need to stick to that decision. it's painful, it's lonely, it's discouraging. the uncertainty makes it scary. it's troubling because there is absolutely no way to know if you are making a mistake. i also feel like if someone took this long to recognize my worth meanwhile putting me through bullshit, they dont deserve me. the end.

ugh

"why is no one ready?"- miranda priestly, the devil wears prada

who remembers that line from the movie? probably no one but ive seen it a million times and i find it funny, the way she says it. let's try this one, "by all means, move at a glacial pace. you know how that thrills me". 

it's disheartening to learn someone you really wanted is not ready for you. that's the conclusion i came to about a certain someone previously mentioned on this blog. but i learned something, so my interactions with him were not all for nothing. let's look at the very simple difference between someone who is ready for me and someone who isnt:

a man who is ready will recognize my worth, acknowledge it, and act accordingly

one who is not might recognize it but will act a damn fool

why does the not-ready one act in such a way? idk. all i know is he will act retarded until you call him on it and then apologize and promise to do better (because we all know he knows better). this is done in an effort to indicate, "look, i know i have a good thing and im gonna do dumb shit to push you away but i dont want you to REALLY go away. it's just I'M not ready". 

either that or males aren't really that complex and i'm giving them way more credit than what is due. i'm hoping for the former but fear that the latter is true. oh well, eff em...

i cannot stress enough

...how much i LOVE this song. have you noticed the lyrics down the right-hand side of my blog? that was really only supposed to be there for one week. i was going to put song lyrics in that space and change it at least weekly. it's been there for at least 6 months not because i forgot but that nothing really compares to the song it references.that's just a snippet of this beautiful song. like if i could have that??? man, what? just ready to "cut off any loose ends and not even wanna keep a few". that one time is was sooooooooo close. i felt every lyric of this song but i hadn't discovered it yet/it had not been released. and once it was released, i didn't have the appreciation i have for it now because i didn't pay attention to the lyrics. maybe if i had, i would have realized what i had and not done so much stuff to f*ck it up. however, everything happens for a reason and the little girl i was then is not the woman i am now and that dude is no longer a good match for me. as for me now, i just wanna "hear a million angels singing in my ear when i say your name". 

here are the full lyrics:

i can run, i can race for hours and hours 

and don't stop
i can float i can fly us to the highest
mountain top i can breathe you, i can drink in your laugh
i can... i can live on your smile i can trip but if i can fall into your arms i can
stay there my whole life

[Chorus]
i can live
i can love
i can be better with you,

for real
i can hear
i can feel
i can see
i can tell
you are for real

i can stare; i can memorize your face, your hands, your hair
every part of you 

i can cut off any loose ends and 

not even wanna keep a few
i can speak to you so honestly i can't even run any game
i can hear a million angels singing in my ear 
when I say your name

[Chorus]

i can't smile, can't dream like a child
can't feel safe in this wide world without you
c can't go can't disturb this flow
can't begin to know what I would do
i can't see, can't find strength to be
rather not be me without you
i can't deal, i can't even feel, 

without you i'm not real

[Chorus]

just imagine

so i met my friend's boo on her bday last friday. either he is really good or i'm an open book. we laughed, joked, ate and drank. a very enjoyable fellow. towards the end of the evening, he was able to break down my friend and i and our situations. he was able to tell me something about myself i was only able to figure out recently. he didn't know my past, he barely knew the details of my current situation. but he knew me when it came to males. if he can see that in just a couple of hours, imagine what dudes know about me after just a little while. 

honestly, it blew my mind for a minute. but now that i have this information, what will i do with it? probably continue to be a hard-headed individual and continue to get my feelings hurt. one day i will wake up and say, "this is what i wont tolerate" and actually mean it 100%. one day. i wish today was that day. 

didn't catch the ball in the cup?

it's ok because the ball is on a string and attached to the cup.* 

i'm going to be just fine. there's somebody somewhere who wants me. like really wants me. not just in the physical sense. but will deeply, madly, and truly love me. the reciprocity i search and long for will be actualized. 

the hard part is just keeping that in mind. 

*get it? from family guy. 

also, on an unrelated note, that cowboys redskins game last night? i was on the field, on the sidelines, under the lights watchin' my 'boys warm up. GO COWBOYS!!!!!!

there are good parts

being single sucks. it really does. but it has it's perks.

1. no waiting around for that call after some event is over. and when that event should be LONG over you are not sitting there wondering what happened to boo. 

2. no other females doing dumb female sh*t. 

3. no training. rarely do men come already equipped with how to treat me. being single saves me the frustration and disappointment. 

4. no justifying male friends. 

5. no arguments to f*ck up my whole day

6. no wondering if he's wandering

his and hers

him:

45

ATL

divorced x 2

3 kids: 20, 18, 10

surprisingly, great guy 

her:

21

DC

single, never married

no kids

free spirit

she has a hard time getting past his stats. he does alot for her. mentally, physically, emotionally. he is an upstanding gentleman. just...what is really wrong? should she tell him what about him bothers her? what are your thoughts? *also, this shouldnt matter but, he doesn't like Wayne, Jay or MJB...

is it a crime?

i cannot help the way i feel. i wish i could but i can't. my heart is broken. not in a "oh, i'm so sad"-way, but more like a "get your brakes fixed"-way. he's ok enough but i'm just not where he is. maybe certain circumstances are preventing me but i strongly believe that if everything was "ideal" i still would not be on that level.

 i don't even see that as a problem in itself but given that another human being is involved, it does bother me a little. i feel as if i might be leading him on. then again, maybe im not because i continue to reiterate my feelings or lack there of and he claims he understands and accepts that. he cannot change how he feels either. sometimes i wish he could. 

a big issue is i dont even know why he feels as strongly as he does. i guess i'm way too logical of a person these days rather than emotional as i was in days (read years) past. 1.) we have not known each other long 2.) even after having met we really did not spend time together until much, much later 3.) there is the age issue (among other life conflicts/incongruences) 4.) THIS is exactly what i don't want, right now and 5.) i most definitely do not want THIS

it is true that you always want what you don't have and when you get it, you don't want it anymore. 

why am i not smart?

i often find myself wondering "why are you not smart? what school system has failed you?" when interacting with others. i have to explain my sense of humor, define vocabulary, or provide multiple examples. it gets so annoying. but i've come to realize that what others are lacking in book smarts, i often lack in common sense. 

there are some things i should have known a long time ago. the last time i communicated with my most recent ex i said "...it took me a lot longer to realize that i am not what you want and you are not what i need". "it took me a lot longer..." he knew long before me he did not love me and never would. now i realize that it was his loss but STILL. why did it take me so damn long? 

the real problem is the one guy. four years ago when i was graduating, he wasn't around. he didnt take me to my prom eventhough i went to his two years before.  i let him back into my life and here i am about to graduate and we dont speak. i feel like i should have known back in '04 that he was not the male for me. if i didnt know for that reason, there were others that should have told me to let that male go. i wont call him a man because he is not and it will be a long time before he is one. 

so here i am disappointed. in him and in myself. i should have known better. i should know better. he would say "you think too much". at that time, i really didnt think enough. now, because of him and the others, i may really be thinking too much and this man who loves me now might really love me. sadly, i can't love him back...

hey, love: dont call me anymore! we are not friends!

love is a losing game

Listen:

april showers? read a book...

As Women's History Month comes to a close, I thought I would share my recent interview with one of my Chocolate City faves, Ananda Kiamsha Madelyn Leeke, author of a powerful new women's self discovery novel entitled Love's Troubadours - Karma: Book One (iUniverse, August 2007). When I discovered the connection that Ananda's novel has to DC, Spelman College, and mental health, I had to interview her. Read more:




1. What inspired you to write Love Troubadours - Karma: Book One?

After reading bell hooks' Salvation: Black People and Love, I felt a deep calling to write stories and create art that emphasize how African Americans use love as a tool for building and sustaining positive self-love, self-esteem, and healthy, loving relationships with their mates, children, families, friends, and communities.


2. Could you give us a description of the novel?
Love's Troubadours - Karma: Book One tells the story of Karma Francois, a thirty-something, California-born BoHo BAP (Bohemian Black American Princess) with Louisiana roots and urban debutante flair. She represents a new type of Black woman, a departure from the video vixens and stoic matriarchs. The way she wears her womanhood as she confronts the effects of her poor life choices and embraces a spiritual journey of healing and love, makes her a 21st century archetype that everyone can relate to. The novels begins with Karma's life in an uproar. Her relationships and the museum curator career that she struggled to form in New York City have crumbled, leaving no viable options to rebuild. Relocating to Washington, DC, Karma struggles with denial, depression, and debt. A lack of full-time employment opportunities forces her to craft a gypsy existence as a Jill of Many Trades: yoga teacher, art consultant, and freelance curator. Unable and unwilling to appreciate these jobs as gifts, she wallows in a pool of lost identity-and doesn't see a way to keep from drowning. When she looks in the mirror, Karma sees a woman whose choices have dishonored her true character. Now, for the first time in her life, Karma must learn to see herself for who she really is. Love's Troubadours reveals how our everyday decisions affect our future and explores the healing power of love.



3. I understand Spelman College and Morehouse College are referenced in the novel. What role do these institutions play in the lives of your characters?

The main character Karma's twin sister Violet and cousin Colette are Spelmanites. Karma's cousin Charlie is a Morehouse graduate. In addition, Spelman College Museum of Fine Art is discussed by Karma in one of her conversations about her career as a museum curator.


4. Why did you create Karma's career as a museum curator and art consultant?
I created these careers for Karma because I wanted to show an African American woman pursuing employment opportunities in an overwhelming white male world. Sistaloves who walk the museum curator and art consultant career paths don't always receive a lot of media attention for their expertise, talents, and efforts in bringing the voice of artists into the light of the world. I figured that I could give them a huge shout out in my book and open the eyes of folks, specifically women of color, about career opportunities in the art world. Looking back, I realize that the seed for this idea was planted while watching one of my favorite television shows, A Different World. I was always fascinated by the corporate art buyer career that the character Whitley pursued. As a result, I started following the different paths women of African descent such as Thelma Golden, Director and Chief Curator of the Studio Museum in Harlem, took in the art world. Golden's curatorial career at the Studio and Whitney Museums, and the artists that she selected to participate in exhibitions, expanded my awareness and appreciation of contemporary African American art and artists of African descent. Thank goodness for her efforts in promoting art that pushes the envelope of race and gender. Because of Golden, I developed a passion for the work of African American artist Kara Walker and Black British artist Chris Ofili, two artists that I feature in my novel. Her commitment to build an institution that celebrates and exhibits groundbreaking artists of African descent affirms my commitment to show this powerful body of work in fiction.



5. Who and what are the artists, artwork, and museums featured in the novel.

I feature a diverse group of artists and photographers from the African Diaspora, Americas (USA and Mexico), Europe, and Japan because I wanted to show my readers how much beauty the world has when it comes to art. Some of the artists represent my longtime favorites such as Lois Mailou Jones, Kara Walker, Renee Stout, Faith Ringgold, Chris Ofili, Marion Perkins, Elizabeth Catlett, Alexander Calder, Jean Michel Basquiat, Archibald Motley, Joyce Scott, Diego Rivera, and Frida Kahlo. Others represent artists that I discovered while writing the book and visiting museums such as Ansel Adams, Franciso Mora, Maria Izquierdo, Andre Derain, Annie Lee, Betye Saar, Alison Saar, Amalia Amaki, Lorna Simpson, Constantin Brancusi. Eldzier Cortor, Amedeo Modigliani, Sister Gertrude Morgan, Adrian Piper, Hughie Lee Smith, and Charles W. White. The artwork that is woven into the tapestry of my novel represents work that I have come to adore such as Lois Mailou Jones' Les Fetishes, Renee Stout's Louisiana Love Icon, Yayoi Kusama's Collage, Faith Ringgold's Soul Sister, Diego Rivera's Nude with Calla Lilies, Chris Ofili's Holy Virgin Mary, and Elizabeth Catlett's Singing Their Songs. I selected museums and galleries that I personally visited or would like to visit such as Howard University Gallery of Art, National Museum of Women in the Arts, Spelman College Museum of Fine Art, DuSable Museum of African American History, Mexican Fine Arts Center Museum, Brooklyn Museum of Art, El Museo de Barrio, and the Drawing Center. To learn more about the artists, artwork, and museums featured in my novel, visit http://kiamshacom.blogspot.com/2007/09/blessings-all-my-debut-novel-loves.html.

6. Your novel references Haitian spirituality, culture, cuisine, and art. How did you develop an interest in these areas?

While I was a student at Morgan State University, I learned about Haiti through my roommate Marie-Denise. Her parents were from Haiti. Whenever I visited Marie-Denise in the Bronx, I spent a lot of time talking to her mother Freda about life in Haiti. "Momma" Freda's fabulous Haitian cuisine and stories inspired me to read about Haitian spirituality, culture, cuisine, and art. My research led me to the Haitian loa Erzulie, author Edwidge Danticat, and the artwork of Renee Stout. Danticat's Breath, Eyes, Memory and Stout's artwork reference Erzulie in their work. They inspired me to create my own interpretation of Erzulie's veve which is included as a drawing inside the novel. The drawing has become the official logo of Love's Troubadours' products and apparel.

In my novel, the main character Karma has a tattoo of Erzulie on her body, eats lunch at a cafe called Erzulie in San Francisco, and has dreams of several paintings of Erzulie that she saw at the restaurant. One of the paintings illustrates the annual pilgrimages that Haitians make to honor the anniversary of the day in 1884 when the Virgin Mary miraculously appeared in the foliage near the Saut d'Eau waterfall. This dream reminds Karma of the way her mother and grandmother celebrated Erzulie and the New Orleans Voodoo Queen Marie Laveau.


7. Why did you select yoga, meditation, healing, and spirituality as core themes in the lives of your characters?

I selected these themes because they dominate my life. For the past twelve years, yoga has played a major role in my life. It has helped me navigate my daily life, emotional well-being, and creative journey as a writer and artist. I took my first yoga class during an African American studies tour of Egypt in 1995. After I returned, I started taking private lessons from my teacher Gloria. She taught me yoga poses, breathing exercises, and meditation that fit my life and needs. I still use some of the same tools that I learned when I come to the mat. Yoga and meditation help me to surrender my will, release my concerns, and breathe in new possibilities. My body stretches, my heart opens, and my lungs expand. They prepare me to embrace healing and spiritual practices. I emphasized healing and spirituality in my novel because I think people need to see more images of folks embracing their own unique blend of healing tools and spiritual practices. I also wanted to encourage people to tap into their own spirits and open up to healing tools to make their lives better.


8. What made you become a yoga teacher and Reiki practitioner?

The more that I practiced yoga, the more I felt called to serve others with healing tools. I completed my yoga teacher training in March 2006 at Flow Yoga Center in DC. In June 2006, I founded kg yoga and currently offer one-on-one private sessions and a free monthly community morning yoga class in Malcolm X-Meridian Hill Park in DC. For more information, visit http://kgyoga.blogspot.com.


9. What type of yoga do you teach?

I teach kind and gentle Hatha yoga. I incorporate meditation, poetry, sacred wisdom teachings, goddess archetypes, Ghanaian Andinkra symbols, kirtan singing, chakra tuning, reiki healing touch, aromatherapy, mantra chanting with mala beads, laughing yoga, yin yoga, mouth yoga, and office yoga into my classes.
10. Why does your novel emphasize a diversity of loving relationships in the African American community?
People of African descent love in many ways. Our families are unique. I wanted to show how beautiful our love and lives are. I wanted to affirm and celebrate straight, lesbian, and gay loving relationships. My prayer is that we all accept ourselves and each other as we live and love in different ways with the understanding that we are all connected through divine love.


11. What motivated you to use your book as a platform to discuss health challenges that impact Black communities such as mental health, HIV/AIDS and sarcoidosis?

Many members of our community do not readily embrace the importance of dealing wiith their emotional pain by seeking support from mental health professionals. I used to share that same belief until I sought therapy from a licensed therapist. With her support, I was able to navigate the loss of my career identity, understand and accept my poor life choices, and learn coping tools to help me deal with stress and anxiety. My therapy taught me that my emotional and spiritual well-being require daily self-care and sometimes professional support. That's why I made sure my main character addressed her mental health challenges with support from a therapist, family, friends, and healing tools such as yoga, meditation, and journaling.

My work as an artist-in-residence at Smith Farm Center for Healing and the Arts at Howard University Hospital and volunteer service at The Women's Collective, a direct services organization that supports women living with HIV/AIDS in Washington, DC, convinced me that we need to use creative ways to raise HIV/AIDS awareness. The impact it is having on the lives of Black women around the world is tremendously devastating.


I highlighted sarcoidosis because my best friend and Kamaria learned that she had it in 2004. Sarcoidosis is a disease of unknown cause in which inflammation occurs in the lymph nodes, lungs, liver, eyes, skin, or other tissues. This health challenge changed the landscape of her life. She has utilized this experience as an opportunity to rebuild her life from the inside out. Kamaria has taught me how important it is to surrender to Spirit and to take care of my health by maintaining balance. My friend Natalie has lived with sarcoidosis in London for several years. She has been able to manage her health challenge with alternative therapies like acupuncture. Her quality of life has improved and now includes a loving relationship with her life partner and newborn baby. Natalie reminds how important it is to believe in yourself and trust your intuition in all areas of your life.


12. Why did you emphasize several characters' cultural ties to Cuba, Haiti, England, India, Peru, Mexico, South Africa, and Russia?

I wanted to show the multilayered identities and cultural ties that people of African descent possess. I think writers of African descent need to do this more because we don't always see positive images of our uniqueness in fiction, film, and art. I basically created the world I want to live in. My prayer is that our community and the world learns about and celebrates our rich heritage, beauty, brilliance, and presence.



13. Your novel also features characters who are members of Black Greek-letter organizations and graduates of historically Black colleges and universities. Why did you choose to highlight these organizations and schools?

I chose to highlight these organizations and schools because they helped shape who I am today. I wanted my readers to know that these Black institutions make strong contributions in the lives of their members and students. They also enrich and serve the Black community and American society. I am a member of Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc. While I was a student at Morgan State University, a historically Black university in Baltimore, Maryland, Sigma taught me how to be a leader and give back to my community. It helped me understand the power of working together in an organization -- the good, bad, and in between. Sigma reinforced what I learned growing up as a daughter, great granddaughter, and great niece of Sigma sorors. I am also the granddaughter of a Kappa man and great niece of an AKA woman. My Morgan experience allowed me to fully explore myself. I became involved in dorm life, student government, French plays, the French club, and the pan-Hellenic council. I even ran for Miss Morgan. During my senior year, I was able to intern for my sorority sister who was a member of the Maryland General Assembly. I felt loved and cared for at Morgan. It was a second home that nurtured and prepared me to face the world.


14. Music plays a major role in your novel. What musical artists do you feature in your novel?

I feature the music of Alice Coltrane, John Coltrane, Duke Ellington, Sting, Tunde Jegede, Katch 22 featuring HKB FiNN, Deva Premal, India.Arie, Amel Larrieux, Omar, Eric Roberson, Fertile Ground, Julie Dexter, Miles Davis, Wynton Marsalis, Les Nubians, Stevie Wonder, Omar Sosa, Susana Baca, and others.


15. What role does poetry and spoken word play in your novel?

Poetry and spoken word are included in several chapters because they help Karma get in touch with her emotions and the issues she has been running from. She is able to release a lot of her anger through her poetry. The spoken word events demonstrate how powerful words are. They give Karma's truth and choices a life of their own. They also show the power of community when women come together in a sacred space to affirm their creativity, emotions, experiences, and spirits.


16. How long did it take you to write the novel? What did it involve preparing for it?

It took me ten years to complete the novel. First and foremost it involved surrendering and opening to Spirit. I learned that I had to let go of my ego and need to control the process. This lesson appeared in several stages of writing and publishing the book. To be honest, it still appears. It looks like it will be a lifelong lesson in my creative journey. Faith in Spirit and myself to complete the writing process was the second part of the preparation process. Understanding and giving thanks that I could not give birth to this book without the support of Spirit and others was the third part. Having patience with myself and others who helped me in the process was the fourth part. The fifth part was being willing to delve into and resolve my own emotions, fears, and experiences so that I could create the emotional and spiritual architecture of some of the characters. The sixth part was realizing that NO work of art made by human hand is perfect. That's what makes it so humbling. That's why it forces one to let it go and allow it to be what it is supposed to be -- a gift from Spirit delivered through a human being to other human beings who are supposed to receive it. The seventh part of the preparation was learning how to use meditation, yoga, reiki healing touch, acupuncture, collage-making, painting, and silence in nature to relax and open to divine guidance on listening to the characters and telling their stories according to Spirit's will. Reading books, magazines, blogs, prayers, wisdom teachings, quotes, and poetry that influenced how I told the story and described the characters was the eighth part of the preparation. Living on a budget and working with my financial advisor to develop a plan to pay for the self-publication of the book was the ninth part of the preparation. The tenth part of the preparation was finalizing the legal and financial structure of my business so I could be ready to handle life after writing the first book.


17. Do you have a process that you use to write your novels, poetry, etc.?

My process starts with surrendering my will to Spirit, trusting the process, and listening to my inner wisdom. As my creative journey moves along, I take time to step away from the work by praying, singing, chanting, practicing yoga and meditation, walking and running in nature, drinking tea, reading magazines and books, listening and dancing to music, fasting from food, sitting in cafes and eavesdropping, and going to the movies. I do these things to keep myself relaxed and balanced. The more relaxed and balanced I feel, the better I write. I use whatever I am called to in the moment.


18. Who are your favorite writers?

My favorite writers include the Buddha, Lorraine Hansberry, bell hooks, Thich Nhat Hahn, Pema Chodron, James Baldwin, Alice Walker, Myrtle Filmore, Susan L. Taylor, Jane Austin, Rumi, Isabel Allende, Caroline Shola Arewa, Toni Cade Bambara, Jewel Parker Rhodes, Audre Lorde, Catherine Ponder, Don Miguel Ruiz, Tim'm West, Ntozake Shange, Ernest Holmes, Iyanla Vanzant, Kevin Powell, E. Ethelbert Miller, Toni Blackman, Mark Anthony Neal, Tricia Rose, Queen Afua, Veronica Chambers, Monique Greenwood, Zora Neale Hurston, and Langston Hughes.


19. What is next for you?

I am currently in the process of completing my first poetic memoir and second novel. My poetic memoir is entitled that which awakens me. It will be published by iUniverse in late fall 2008. The second novel is entitled Love's Troubadours - Symon: Book Two and will be published in December 2009. It is shaped around my need to show how Black men navigate their emotional and spiritual journeys.

20. How can people purchase your book and learn more about your novel and creative efforts?

The book is sold online for $20.95 on Amazon.com

They can also shop online at www.cafepress.com/kiamshacom for Love's Troubadours' apparel and products.


They can learn more about the novel and my creative efforts by visiting:

1) www.lovestroubadours.com

2) www.myspace.com/lovestroubadours

3) http://kiamshacom.blogspot.com.


Ananda's  internet radio interviews on the Black Author Showcase and Black Women's Roundtable:
http://www.lovestroubadours.com/id10.html


Love's Troubadours YouTube videos: www.youtube.com/kiamshaleeke

*now you have no excuse not to know*