am i missing something?

Monday, July 19, 2010
there has been a rash of nuptuals and engagements in my world. did i miss the memo on some incentive for doing this? is there a get-married-or-engaged-in-2010 special?

but im serious.

im the girl who no one asked to prom so...if there's something good to be gotten out of this chances are, i wont get it. im the girl dudes just fuck for a while and if im lucky, he'll take me out to eat or to a movie every now and again. having a boyfriend is pretty much foreign territory to me and now folks are saying marriage is the thing to do.

cut to me sitting over a married friend's house one evening. friend's cousin (to be married in sept.) after having met me a few times and never heard mention of an SO finally asked was i even in a relationship. maybe my limited interest in her wedding planning and relationship discussion was being picked up one. wasnt trying to be rude, just had nothing to contribute. i have no way to relate to someone's fiance trying to enpregnate them prior to the wedding.

so anyway she asks and i respond that i am not seeing anything. and her follow up question was basically like there must be something wrong with you. something like "are you just focusing on career/school or...?" the honest response, which i gave, has nothing to do with school. this was on the heels of seeing "nene eye" so i was in no mood to even think about emotional shit. then she asked how old i was and she gave me what ive been getting "oh when i was 23 i felt that way too". but she also added that she was engaged, too and im like "nice". i dont know if she was trying to be hurtful (i doubt it) but i was kind of hurt.

because im 23 and not seeing anyone seriously, it must be because im focused on career? i almost wonder if she was hoping i'd come "out" to her. she offered some mild reassurance about hopefully i'll begin dating a different kind of person as i get older. i felt as if marriage was mandatory.

if it is, i probably will NOT be meeting that mandate.

i titled this post "am i missing something". i think the short answer is: i am not. an answer requiring further explanation is: maybe so.