random rant

Sunday, July 25, 2010
ive been surrounded by the easily impressed lately. "ooh, you have such cute dimples!" and "wow! you have pretty teeth". how are teeth pretty? i dont like teeth. like i like to know a dude has decent teeth and once that is established, im no longer interested in teeth. like i hate watching movies where they have an unnecessary teeth-brushing scene. i cant stand to watch someone brush their teeth. am i weird for that?

ok, if so, im going to be weird for this: i dont want to see you touch your eyeball. have you seen the movie memento? the most disturbing part is in the opening credits when dude is putting in contacts. that's NASTY. yea, i wear contacts and i really hate putting them in because my hands are almost always cold and im touching my eye with cold hands.

i hate having to shake hands because i know my hands are cold. people probably dont care but i notice the temperature of people's hands. i dont care about temperature but i never know if others do. what i do care about is firmness. i usually dont have this problem with men but i hate that half-shake women do where they only really offer up their fingers and the webbing of our thumbs dont touch. this is not 1826 and im not a man who's going to gingerly kiss your hand! shake like a professional! that makes me SICK. i love a good squeeze. if im going to have to touch someone (you know i prefer not to be touched), i want it to be worth it. and that leads my mind to a place that has no business within this particular post so i'll end here.

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