if i had a kid....

how many yom kippers has it been since i did one of these? (yom kipper is more important than hannukah but americans make it seem different since hannukah happens near christmas. it's true because someone jewish told me).

gather 'round boys and girls for a story. this story stars 3rd grade antithesis.

i had a computer teacher who would profess that he was "M.E.A.N". on the first day of class he said he was "Mean Evil AND Nasty". we all knew it because the class would sing it along with him when he said it. he said it often and would pride himself on it.

8 year old me thought, oh you mean, huh? imma stay out your way. this was the wrong attitude because grades came for the quarter and this old man gave me a D. all As and a D showed up on my report card and my parents' response was "what gives?". my mom was like "you spend all that time on the computer and you bring a D home in COMPUTERS?" my parents always gave us the benefit of the doubt and my explanation that i did all that was asked of me was accepted so Regina went up to the school.

do you know what this teacher did? he confirmed i had passed all assignments with satisfaction however, he thought i did not like him. A COMPLETELY GREY-HAIRED MAN gave me a D because i supposedly did not like him. my mom was like "that never has anything to with how a grade is factored. i was given a chance to state my case and all i said was something about not feeling as he thought i did. the grade was not changed but i got Bs for the other 3 quarters.

fast forward to whatever boy or girl i spew out. let that be my kid. i would teach baby girl or little man to say how he really feels. what did i really feel? i remember thinking i never care about you to love or hate you. the fact that you're so "M.E.A.N", i would have never guessed that a senior citizen such as yourself cares what an eight year old thinks of him.

my kid would have to know that adults are not more than children whose cells divided to make them bigger. idiotic children USUALLY become ignorant ass adults. i was raised not to treat adults as peers but when an adult shows that they are not deserving of that respect, i want my kids to feel comfortable telling them just how they feel. there's nothing to lose. this was just the first incident of an inappropriately given D that was never changed. really wishing i'd gone the hell off on each one of those foolish people. so, you see how i lost faith in humans at an early age, right?

even at 24, i constantly feel as though i reserve comments for people more than i should. i have to work on tactful (read: sans profanity) ways to say how i really feel because no one gives a damn how they talk to/treat me.

why i dont buy guys gifts

simply put, i get carried away when it's gift-giving time. it's hardly ever reciprocated so i'm kinda over gift-giving in general. some shitty stuff has happened to me and despite this, i still get excited when it's christmas or a birthday. let's revisit some things i've bought for guys who never deserved it. my career in gift-giving, much like my dating, was short-lived.

1. monogrammed beer mug from Things Remembered

who was it for? the college boyfriend who i chose over hs boyfriend who wound up ruining my life (as i saw it at the time). email me if you'd like to know how and i may share.

why wasn't it worth it? he was a REDSKINS FAN. it was a redskins bear mug monogramed for his wack ass. i can't believe i spent my unemployed, cant recall how i even had it money on that weedhead degenerate. we broke up in the most embarassing of ways shortly after. did you really have to call me to walk over to morehouse suites just to break up with me? tell me that shit on the phone and save me the walk in the cold. luckily, i was prepared and brought my girl with me. that was a good move. not so good move was going downstairs and sobbing in front of friends we mutually had.

2. new balances and laptop bag

who was it for? my computer nerd college boyfriend

why wasn't it worth it? these were expensive purchases for a college student. the bag was a specialty bag and new balances are never all that cheap. he was never really into me. he got rejected by some chick he'd liked for a while following a break-up with some other chick. we we friends and he kissed me out of convenience. i wasn't into him at first either, but he grew on me. unfortunately, i did not have a similar effect on him. As soon as he finalized his acceptance to the second half of his dual-degree program which would take him to michigan while i had one more year at spelman, i was out on my ass.

3. a specialty journal with inspirational quotes that i knew he would enjoy.

who was it for? "krappa". he never gave two shits about me so he was never a boyfriend or even a friend but i liked him so much, like an idiot. he liked the gift, though. who doesn't love undeserved riches?

why wasn't it worth it? i thought way too much of someone who thought less than nothing of me. it was as if he made a sport of being a terrible friend and made no apologies for it. yet i still continuted to entertain his intermitant pop-ups and included him in my Christmas shopping list.

my hs boyfriend was on to something when he refused to let me spend a dime on him. if we did anything, he paid. he never got me gifts and crap. i really should have been ok with that. doesnt mean @booskee9 should stop sending me stuff on my bday and vday....

finally definitely maybe

Until this very second I have had no idea what I wanted to do. When asked what degree I'm working toward, I have a solid answer and I just hope the inquiry stops there. It rarely does. "So what are you going to do with that? Are you going to work in schools?" No, I know for a fact that I do not want to be a school counselor. That was the extent of my knowledge.

I was never sure what population I wanted to work with. Not much appealed to me. Severely mentally ill people are a challenge I do not feel up for in my mere 24 years of life. Substance abuse and criminal justice are not my forte either. All I knew, up until now, was that I MIGHT have a preference for adolescents. But that didn't mean I would not enjoy young children or adults, because I would.

An epiphany happened. Randomly, I know I want to work with LGBTQ consumers of mental health services. Let me specify something right now. So we're clear: although sexual minorities were once viewed as having mental illness by my profession, that is no longer the stance. Again, I do not wish to "cure" people of homosexuality. There is no such process.

What I have noticed in my grad school career is that this population is one of the most marginalized in just about every arena with the exception of fashion. That means that people face oppression and are ostracised at home, school, and work no matter where they are. I'm sure these clients will always have something to talk about.

I'm bored easily but I'm sure this population will provide me with a lot to work with. I'll see folks for anxiety, depression, family issues, career, relationship issues...all kinds of stuff will come up. And, I'll get to work with a range of ages. Even children because there are those kids who are gender varient (girls who want to be boys and vice versa). Yup, that's a thing.

So if you love me, cross your fingers and pray that this is the niche I've been looking for and hope that I'll find work with this population.

this happens far too often

dont let me think i'm the only one who experiences this.

my bus stop is at the top of the hill of the street i live on. the cross street is a major artery that flows from DC through MD. i stand and wait for my bus and endure honks and undeciferable hollers out of windows...year 'round. i can be wearing a north face and hat and hood. i could be wearing a trench holding an umbrella in pouring rain with limited visibility. i could be dressed in my best "i could give a hell what you think of me" uniform of "i got dress in 5 minutes in the dark" attire. it matters not. without fail, there is someone who tactlessly needs to communicate their interest. inevitably, someone void of standards is a passerby.

what gets me is the ones who will come to a stop. this happens less frequently as they restructured and made it one lane each way. if they chose to do this less than considerate act, any conversation would be drowned out by the honking of horns.

what REALLY gets me is the ones who will go around the block and come up on my street, stop to the right of me, and yell to me asking for my number. and just what do you have time to take this detour on the off chance that i also have no standards and no regard for my personal safety and would approach your car and get in? exactly why do a large percent of these hooligans think i would accept their offer of a ride to where i'm going? im standing at the damn bus stop. for $1.50, i can get a ride from metro and decrease my chances 100% of being chopped up in someone's wet basement. and yes, that is exactly how i think my body will end up. i cant say much for the cause of death but i know i'll be chopped into pieces for added insult.

have i already written on this? probably. but it is SO annoying that i needed to say something again.

i pity the fool...

*say the title of this post in your best ceelo green singing voice*

i pity the fool...

...who is waka flack flame.

...who believes the aforementioned "dumbs himself down" on purpose.

...who tweets anything non-football-related on sunday.

...who has run out of chances with me.

...who wishes to immulate rihanna's red hair

...who wears glamour lashes and no other makeup

...who thinks that just because I've refrained from going off on your ass in the past that I won't ever do it.

...who calls me while my cowboys are playing.

...who tries to get my number while I'm standing at my bus stop. like did you just drive around the block for me to turn you down? yes. yes you did.

...who is a professional kicker and misses field goals! #reallygrindsmygears

this list could go for days. what you got?

so...

why was october 11 national coming out day? is it because two ones are two phalluses? then by that reasoning, the 11th of every month should be coming out day. only i would make numbers into something gay...i'm going to bed.

but wait. how come thinking about it led me to think of r. kelly's "trapped in the closet"?

"He walks up to the closet/He goes up to the closet/Now he’s at the closet/Damn he’s opening the closet…"

that series was an ORDEAL. ok goodnight.

03- your parents

both of my parents are from dc, though my mom spent a lot of her time in maryland. my dad works, my mom doesn't (she retired when i was born). both my parents went back to school and my dad has a masters and my mom has a bachelors. my dad has a cruel sense of humor. my mom has a corny one. my mom like flowers and gardening and oprah and steve harvey and any other thing i can be against. my dad like football and cars and shopping. yes, shopping. until recently, i've trusted my dad to buy clothing for me more than my mother. my dad has 5 sisters; he should know what he's doing. my mom has all brothers, she hasn't the slightest clue. my mom will fight anyone! 6 women or 6 men. she doesnt care. my dad will fight anyone, too but he usually at least tries to calm my mom down before he has to hurt someone.

can you guys figure out what i get from whom?