while talking to her through AIM (the main way we communicate b/c she lives in GA), i realized im not a habitual person. like im not an attend-this-weekly-event person. it's hard for me to belong to organizations and stuff. i just won't go for no particular reason. im not avoiding anything. im just being absent. like church: i can be up in time, have plenty of time to get ready, have an idea about what to wear and just not go. no reason. not even i didnt feel like going anywhere. because i will go somewhere else instead sometimes. i already knew i was impulsive and spontaneous but wow, i learned something.
upon further exploration, it might be something about the formality of it all. it's a set place, time, and date. i prefer more flexibility i guess. i can go shopping religously. the store is open between these hours almost everyday and there is no set time to be there. but if someone is hosting a birthday party or celebrating a holiday, for example, and we arent that close i have trouble following through with attending. is that weird?