ugly girl's dating guide

ive figured it out. i have bad dates and poor experiences with men because i must not be cute enough. here are a few rules i've devised for navigating the dating world.

so you were lucky enough that some dude with low self-esteem wants to take you out:

1. don't wear too much makeup- you do not want to trick this guy into thinking you're cute. that's just mean b/c eventually, you'll get comfortable and he'll see you without the makeup and know the truth.

2. bring money for your meal- sometimes guys ask ugly girls out (who knows why) but they dont always pay. be prepared.

3. try to meet him there/have your own transportation home- you dont wanna be a "practice girl". if he does pay for your meal, remember you're ugly and he'll expect something in return. you dont wanna get stuck over his house having to do ho shit and him still maybe not feeling like bringing you home.

4. show cleavage- it's distracting from your ugly face and might get your meal paid for

5. think carefully about menu options- your ugly ass doesnt need to be slurping spaghetti. order whatever you think pretty girls drink. this is not a time for hennessy and coke.

6. you have plenty of time to get ready- he's never going to show up on-time for your ugly ass. take time getting ready, you know you need it.

any other tips and pointers? :)