this is hard

my job is making lent extra hard. we get donations daily of all kinds of bread and stuff. it's usually day-old or beyond so it's not that hard to pass on it. volunteers come and cook for the kids and staff participates in meals. again, MOST times it's easy to pass. this is gonna be racist but white people just prepare their stuff differently and it's usually in a fashion i can take or leave. unless the person is a pro, it's just ok at best for me. anyway, it's still hard spending the little money i make to buy something different or just eating the salad that was made to go with the meal.

saturdays are only hard because it's pizza night and it's 3 days after the weekly grocery store trip so pickings are slim. this is still ok because the pizza that we get is dominos. what in the pure fuck do i look like crying 'cause i cant have that nasty shit?

one really tough time was this wednesday. a black lady came to cook! she set the table with table cloth and somehow, all of the dishes magically matched. she placed a floral centerpiece on the table and i saw her storebought, im assuming red velvet, cake in her picnic basket. YES, picnic basket. this lady was so cute. she made spaghetti and the aroma was HEAVENLY. of course, she made a beautiful-looking salad to go with it. the salad would have been all that i could have had. dinner is at 5:30 and so is the end of my shift. she came at 3pm to start prepping and i was smelling garlic bread and pasta sauce since about 4:30. i RAN out of that place when my shift was done. i was so hungry and so sad...

i dont want her coming back until after Easter. i also don't want anyone as awesome as her to come until then. just keep having people bring whatever is left over from the buffet at whatever event they attended like they did that one time o_O. that shit was trifling.