it depends on what you're looking for

i did a post on standards and the like and i posed the following to you and myself: what makes your such a great catch?

the simple answer is: it varies. not everyone seeks the same things. it's about compatibility. if you look at what most people want, i probably do not fit the bill. let's investigate further.

1. 90% of the time, i dont want kids- that means i dont have them already. for some dudes this matters, others, not so much. there are dudes who want kids so this is a deal-breaker.

2. i dont want to get married- that sounds good to a non-commital man but there are guys in the world who want to one day get married even if it isnt in the immediate future. for dudes who claim they dont want to get married, they also arent looking for a long-term or exclusive relationship, which are things that i seek.

3. i have two degrees- ive read on a couple of blogs that dudes dont give a hell about that and that's fine. i just think it helps to know that in an ideal economy, im making my own money. some dudes want a woman completely dependent on them and those dudes are usually abusers so they can keep that.

4. i clean up pretty nice- i never said i was the most attractive thing to look at but a dude can rest assured that i wont show up to meet his mama looking crazy. i tend to dress appropriately for my size and i do a decent job with my makeup. i can be sexy without being whorish. this could potentially matter because i'm forever seeing dudes paired with women who dont look like anything.

5. i dont care if sunday is football-only- i like football. i dont despise it and suffer through it b/c you like it. i dont pretend not to like it but watch it religiously even without a dude for reasons unknown...football is ok with me. some dudes actually do not like football (if i meet another one of those i will have a bad time). also, there are dudes who do not care if i like football or not it's something THEY enjoy and has little to do with others. it's neither a deal-maker nor -breaker.

i honestly do not know what guys seek. i kind of only listed the qualities i care about. i want a guy with education, who is attractive/dresses nicely, likes football, doesnt NEED to have kids, and is willing to commit. i want what im bringing to the table. anything else is bonus.

i GUESS i can be flexible on the football thing, maybe. ugh, that's tough. there is something less masculine to me about a man who does not care at all about football. i dont know. im weird.

we dont want any

here is my top ten list of people/things i wish to submit my official letter of #wedontwantany to:

10. blockbuster- we didnt like you before bankrupcy and netflix has us covered for our temporary dvd needs

9. network tv airing infomercials or uninteresting games on Sunday- why would we wanna see ravens v. bucs rather than bears v. eagles???? and then the audacity to talk about the interesting game like you are going to air it only to show this fuckery?

8. kanye west's penis picture- just why did that need to be shared?

7. AMAs- we all know i dont watch award shows and on the one occassion i do, that's what i got? pitchy ballads and pre-pubescent canadians? no, thank you.

6. thanksgiving leftovers- we dont care once the good sides and desserts have been eaten. no one wants to see that dry ass turkey anymore. it's time to cook new food.

5. nicki minaj- i already told ya'll the bitch couldnt get it but we just don't want an album of her all by her lonesome. we also dont need her special edition lip product which is just a copy cat of other pale pink lipsticks from MAC's permanent line.

4. spelling/grammar errors- we NEVER wanna see you write "anchorage" when you are trying to express "encourage".

3. negative nancy- we don't mean our usual anti-ass sentiments on this blog. we mean negative ass people who like to go around sharing an opinion no one asked for. if we make a fb status, it's not always for your approval/disapproval though we recognize it's public forum. our thing is simply, why are you finding something negative to say even if the status is a mere "it's sunday"? stfu, #wedontwantany

2. chronic RT'ers- no one wants to see snippets of your dry ass conversation between you and some other boring person with no context. that's what bbm is for. why are you retweeting that? also, we followed you because we thought you were capable of original thought but we were swindled into seeing 19,000 of your 20,000 tweets being RT's of others and quotes and crap.

1. mass holiday texts- that generic shit woulda passed if it didnt include the phrase "each and every one of you" and the fact that you showed up as a number instead of a name. that phony, 2 or 3 times a year shit? #wedontwantany

um...

i just dont see it for dudes with all these standards and requisites but they have no accountability themselves. and you are like "wtf are you talking about?" imma tell ya. you KNOW imma tell you.

on twitter, a beloved spelman sister asked when does marriage cross a young man's mind when he thinks of a woman he is involved with. most of the responses mirrored each other but one dude wrote: "what I find is that it is a lot easier to lise the wifey type title then is to regain it, but it is a thought for me..."

what he wanted to write was "lose" and "than". spelling and grammar errors make me want to write you off immediately. and of course, i'm guilty myself. i've seen some of my blog posts and been like "girl, what?" but shut up and let me finish my hypocritical post...

i can let that slide but what i cant with. what i REALLY cant with is dudes who say things like women who dont/cant cook are useless. there is nothing wrong with the statement in itself. it's an opinion. i dont wholly agree with it b/c i fall in that category but whatever. my thing is, i dont aspire to be that kind of woman for you when you cant be that kind of man for me. i will make food out of necessity but no, i cant burn in the kitchen. i dont and wont care until there is a dude who comes at me properly.

it might be a catch 22. you may say i cant attract that type of dude because i dont cook. i know great women who cook who are single and face the same bullshit as everyone else. the dudes cheating on significant others and constantly tweeting about tits and ass and coming on faces can spare me the cooking complaints. exactly what are YOU doing that makes you a great catch to have all the requirements you do? im sorry, im not filling your belly when you cant take me on a decent date or you are so disrespectful as to come and pick me up and call me and tell me you're outside. bitch, my car is outside, too. if im not being greeted at my door and walked to your car, then i could have just met you wherever the fuck we're going. that's so dumb to me. it's disrespectful to me AND since you know i live with my parents, it's kinda rude to them. and dont fake like it's a novel idea when i tell you that's not acceptible. the next dude to do that shit and to actually have some bitter ass retort is getting hung up on and im going to bed. #grindsmygears

i have to ask myself that same question: what's so great about me? not one person is exempt from this. my answer may be in an upcoming post.

this is getting to be ri-damn-diculous

my vibrator quit me. that is all.

you know what phrase i hate?

"im just checking on you"

wtf does that even mean? checking for what? did you hear that something bad happened to me? IDK how you could have because we havent talked in weeks/months/years. are you predicting something bad will occur? did you have a weird dream that reminded you that i exist?

what kills me is the dudes i used to fuck with who were asked to exit my life. they call a few months down the line or text and say "hey, blah blah blah" and i might ask "who it is" or ask "what's up" or what do they want. "oh i was just checking on you". um....

if you had not done what you did (or not done) and been asked to quit me, you wouldnt have to check. you would just know. furthermore, if you disappeared without a trace or explanation, the same holds true for you.

what are you assessing for? what is this "check" about? stop saying that. what the hell is it that you want? because all im going to tell you is that im fine or im ok or that im great. all that means to me is you're seeing if im dead or not. is that what you wanna know? and why? it's not like you subsequently ask to see me or apologize for being a collosal failure. you are and always have been useless so go away and stay away. i thank you.

why nicki minaj CANNOT get it

1. she has the same problem chris brown has: she cant be tolerated on her own. based on twitter reviews, she's ok as a guest on someone else's track but cant stand on her own

2. she's annoying: from the wig dipped in gumby's blood at last night's AMAs to her faux accents, i can't with her

3. im not into the faux fatty. yea, she got a big ass but she and angel lola love are some phonies.

i dont feel like devoting any more thought to this topic. i just want her to do something silent like model b/c i always LOVE her make up. that is all.

i dont normally do this

im not one for new years resolutions but im thinking that 2011 will be the year i finish reading the bible. i read the new testament b/c those chapters are significantly shorter. of course, im gonna read them all again. when i think of reading the bible, it's like im going to watch all the lord of the rings movies (extended version) except longer and you know, in book form. doesnt appeal to me. i still cant believe i watched lord of the rings. smh.

idk. what are you thinking about?