i could have kept my seat

all im saying is, im no further than where i was BEFORE i decided to grab life by the horns and be the persuer of stranger at the bar. he never called. texted though. texts were wack. they werent sexy. they werent even flirty. just...dry. that's what i get for trying to make fetch happen #meangirls. and that's all i have to say about that #forestgump.

maybe "shy" isnt the word

i was going to wait to say something until shit was wrapped up with a bow on it or it was ugly in the bottom of the trashcan like those yellow wrappers around sanitary napkins. but some stuff just doesnt have an ending or resolution. sometimes you're just left wondering what might have been. and plus this goes with this "do it now" thing im on so yea.

went to the bar with some friends last night after class. girl told me some dude tripped on nothing supposedly looking at me and it was funny. now im sitting here mad that i didnt see and wondering if it was my dude. shrug.

i go to get my last drink and boy who had, like my friend, won a free happy hour walked up and was like "can i go in front of u?" i must have been in a good mood b/c i was gonna let him. mainly b/c free happy hr people already have cups so it would take no time to get whatever he wanted. but he was joking. he was interested in what i was ordering and i told him. he said he'd get it. that was my in.

i returned to my table like "should i, or shouldnt i?" he was attractive and he seemed nice enough. but im "shy" or maybe it's a confidence issue. but i had my "in". i would just casually walk by later and see if he liked what he copy catted off of me.

he was in mixed company and i couldnt tell what everyone's relationship to one another was. like some sort of predator, i waited til the woman he was seated beside left or went to the bathroom or wherever she went. i walked myself over there and asked him how he liked the drink and he probably feigned interest but we exchanged information.

if nothing else comes of this, at least i did it instead of wondering what COULD have happened if i didnt. plus i wouldnt have gotten the chance to pick up on his accent and learn that he was an ATLien (oh, i miss JAWJA).

i dont often like the dudes who approach me but i also do not like being the pursuer. what preference do you have? does it even matter? something about the personality of guys who approach me is just obnoxious. im also frustrated with dudes who never say anything and im convinced that old boy would have never said a word if i hadnt. does that mean he simply wasnt that interested despite the fact that someone said he'd been looking in our direction? maybe i wasnt the one he was looking at...

photographic evidence of doing it now

i did it now! roaming around dupont, i wanted to try a burger joint i'd heard about called Rogue States. unfortunately, it was closed 'til further notice. wonder what that was about. i'll assume it was regarding a liquor license and not something major like health codes. GROSS. anywho, i spotted another burger place just a few blocks up: BGR The Burger Joint. i walked on, because i wasnt quite hungry yet and i wanted to visit a few more stores.

i promised myself i'd go back because i was on my "do it now" stuff. i'm so glad i did. not because the food was good, because it really wasnt all that, but because i now know i dont need to go because i've been!

i got the lunch box or whatever the lunch special is called, which includes a burger, regular fries, and a drink for $8.99. i wanted sweet potato fries so that was an extra $1 plus tax. at that point i was only saving about a dollar because at first, i'd ordered a la carte and i was just about to pay when the girl asked if i wanted the special.

the burger was huge with a shiny bun which only signified one thing to me: oil. either butter or olive oil had to be responsible for that oily appearance. that was nothing compared to what oozed out of the burger when i too my first bite. i was going to take a pic of all the oil that came out but i decided that would be too offensive. i got a generous serving of sweet potato fries but those double fried strips weren't anything to write home about.

have you been there? did i just go on a bad day?

http://www.bgrtheburgerjoint.com/

My Xmas Present to Myself

in honor of my post entitled "do it now", i've just made arrangements for some holiday travel. well, not really holiday but it is in December. southwest is having a damn RIDICULOUS sale right now and i got a flight to the chi for $60 each way. isnt that insane?!!

my sister has already been to chicago plenty of times so she's not interested. my friend has been a couple of times as well. ive never been and one of my favorite people lives there so it's time for a visit.

this is my graduation present to myself, as well. i wanted to go somewhere with white sands and clear waters but im not on that kind of budget. i'll make due with freezing temps and harsh winds in a new city i wish to explore.

share your "do it now" adventures. that's the theme for 2011 so comment on this or any future post with what you did!

do it now!

is this you? "i really want to try [insert thing you've never done here] but i have no one to go with". how about this? "that would be a nice place to go on a date".

for a while i was saying this and passing up opportunities for fun and entertainment in hopes that i'd have someone to accompany me. recently, ive been doing things with my sister but that's not enough. she's not always available, nor is she always interested.

so ive made the decision to do things now. there's nothing wrong with trying that new eatery alone so go and do it. and if you like it, then you can suggest it to your friends when you're out and they're being indecisive about what to grab. because i've run into that problem, too. i can never contribute to a discussion of what to do because i havent done anything. but SOMEHOW others have tried places. why? because they went by themselves or with other people.

there's not too many things i wont do by myself. and yes, some experiences are better with others. but, if you're like me, you're not a big fan of other people to begin with. it's sometimes nice to not have to wait on someone else to get ready and deal with inconsiderate behavior.

what's something you've been dying to do but couldn't because no one was interested or available? or am i the only one who is socially inept and doesnt have any friends?

i look like ME!

1. i do not look like another ethinicity

him: what's your nationality?

me: american

him: *rolls eyes* i mean, your ethinicity

me: african-american

him: *sigh* where are your parents from?

me: DC

him *heavy sigh*

me: IM REGULAR BLACK!

2. i dont look like a celebrity

i had an ex tell me i looked like rudy huxtable, especially in my kid pictures. and i would have to disagree that i look anything like my spelman sister, keisha knight pulliam.

said ex's sister added me (for the 100th time b/c she keeps changing her accounts) on facebook and in her message wrote that i have always looked like janet jackson to her. i WISH i could be so lucky. i wouldnt mind looking like her with one of her older noses.

3. i do not look like my brother

will is lightskinned, well, he's browned out a LITTLE since we got older. i'm dark skinned. he has thicker eyebrows and more almond-shaped eyes than i do. his lips are thicker than mine. and if you havent noticed, IM A GIRL. all through high school, i was "lil will". how awkward is that when "lil" and a boy's name usually meant the boy was someone the girl was dating? even when introduced to parents of my brother's friends. "oh yes, you look just like william". thanks. i look like a 200+ pound man.

4. i do not look like my sister (anymore)

i will admit that for a brief time in my childhood, i looked just like my sister. i saw a picture of my sister and my dad and even i said "i dont remember this" and my dad was like "you shouldn't; you werent born". that time has passed, yet my sister and i can still trick people into thinking we're twins. we get people excitedly asking "who's older?" and we look at each other and tell them tiffany is older. and then they say "by how much?" and we look again and say "about 11 years". i told her we need to say 11 minutes if we wanna stop getting side eyes.

death wish

im taking grief and bereavement this semester. all my classes overlap so it's been reiterated how important it is to share your wishes with loved ones. i didn't know i had an opinion beyond not having a casket and having my organs donated but i do. i dont believe my family can handle this conversation so here's what i want.

• donate my organs- im not using them
• put me right in the ground- caskets are EXPENSIVE. $3000? donate that to an AIDS foundation or start a scholarship at Spelman College. find a state that doesn't have that law about the deceased being in a casket OR tell them that I was Muslim or something and circumvent that law. no matter what you put me in, my body will decompose to to something that gets in or whatever it is that already lives inside of me. im good without a casket.
• i dont care much about what you dress me in. do what makes you feel better but i will say i love sweats and if it's summer and im dead, put me in some of those pajama shorts.
• i want my face BEAT- give me a smokey eye and an ignorant bold lip. i know it's incongruent with what i wish to wear but when has congruence ever been my forte????