goals, plans, aspirations

PJD got on the request line for this month's series and asked that i speak on my goals in life. i'll take this time to share what im working toward career-wise and i'll explain why ive tried my best to avoid planning too far in advance.

you haven't seen too many posts on here about anything taking place more than about 6 months down the line. why? because although i tout myself as a thinker and planner, it's my belief that humans shouldn't count too much on there being a tomorrow. i remember a bible lesson about thinking ahead of yourself. what i took from it was not to be foolish and squander money but to also realize that God doesn't promise that you will see anything come into fruition. planning for the next 5 and 10 years is fine but don't be so arrogant as to really think that HAS to happen for you. of course, im a little shakey on my scripture (another topic for another day), so i cant direct you to the passage, nor can i clarify as much as i'd like.

the other reason i haven't been planning too far in advance is that i noticed that i'd been putting forth a lot of effort and energy to have something take place and others are like "yea, i did it the night before" and got equal or better results. im not one to wait til the last minute but im not doing anything 6 weeks in advance when there's a possibility that waiting can be advantageous. i'm trying to keep unnecessary stress at a minimum. i get stressed trying to make something happen far in advance. i choose to relax and deal with issues as they arise if it's something not that serious.

so what do i want to do with my life? i'm wrapping up my master's in clinical mental health. to do what? to become a therapist. what does it take to become a therapist? a master's degree, a national exam (to be taken in October), and 2 years of supervised work experience. where will i complete the 2 years? not sure. at a community mental health agency. this might be an outpatient or residential facility. what population do i wish to serve? children and adolescents. what will i specialize in? im undecided. my internship was in behavioral and emotional issues, as well as family issues. i will probably stay in with that focus. where will i work? for the 2 years, i will remain in DC, MD, VA metro area just because i can live at home if i need to and i know the area so that's one less concern for this stressful period. after then, im open. i think T has her bid in for the Chi so that's an option.

anything else you want to know about future career goals?

24x24 update

im getting further and further from my goal of earning a clarisonic from myself. i dont think ive run but once this month. august is just going to be a month of fail. i was thinking about running a second time when my temp agency called me for a last minute half day assignment. that was a lame excuse because i wound up at my destination with time to spare and the rest of this month, there's no legitimate excuse. im just lazy. this morning, my stomach hurts. i got dressed to run and had one shoe on before i decided i was too tired and didnt feel like running today. now that's dedication...to being fat.

im just not feeling it. the clarisonic was just a fringe benefit, i really want to lose those pounds and maybe that will make me happy even if the happiness is short-lived. maybe i can get away with bumming around for this month, being careful what i eat, and then kick it into overdrive in september and still manage to achieve my goal. as of this morning (the day im writing this) i'm 167.5. i think the goal was 148.

this lack of energy is a direct reflection of my diet. i haven't really been reporting what i've been eating. if you follow me on twitter, you know about my cupcake addiction, so i'll do a typical day including a cupcake stop.

breakfast- none or yogurt and animal cookies (usually none or water)

lunch: between 1pm and 3pm- cupcake or chips and a juice/soda

dinner: cheez-its or whatever my mom cooks or fast food

actually looking at that make me realize how ridiculous i am. i dont eat enough food to want to run. plus i see how i havent been gaining weight. this also explains why my dad came in my room at 10pm last night with a huge tuna sandwich. my parents know i dont eat right. it's time to do south beach diet. im going to go get some nuts and yogurt (im supposed to get plain but eff that! i'm allowed that cheat because plain tastes like throw up!)

btw, you can comment on any post letting me know what you want me to blog about during the month of September.

24 x 24 update

major setbacks:

week of july 4th i did ok managing to run a couple of days while staying at my sister's house but the way i was eating that week was unacceptable. plus my sis' bday was that week and whenever she goes all out, i go right with her. we're enablers that way.

from then, ive touched the treadmill 1 time. that was yesterday. thought i was gonna be back to it this morning but i was up for hours when the thunderstorms woke me up. all that trouble going back to sleep, plus my mind racing in frustration about dumb stuff has me in no mood to run. plus it's super cloudy outside so this might be a sleepy day.

i'd gain back all (3 whole pounds) that i'd lost. i can't blame it all on being at sis' house. i'd been knocking back a few sodas and a couple of beers. then i went over my friend's house twice and demolished white wine. her neighbors made an apple cranberry cobbler and i pigged out on that plus the pasta salad my friend made. i was carbing it up.

right now im at 168. i need to be at 150 by my bday which i feel is reasonable. i cant remember my starting weight so it wont be exactly 24 by 24 anymore. i think for it to be 24, i would have to be at 148 or something. i'll take 150. havent seen that since high school/freshman year of college. for reference, 150 was a size 10 for me. maybe an 8 b/c im a 12 now and i have some things i can fit that are size 10.

"all them mocha lattes..."

so here's the thing with my exercise. i'm the type of person who needs to see results QUICKLY. i need instant gratification, not just with this but in general. i guess you can say i'm a rather impulsive person because of this. so anyway, i'm not losing any weight. honestly, that is to be expected. i'm not doing nearly enough or modifying my eating habits such that to warrant weight loss. that really was not the goal. the goal was to get me in the habit of doing something physical everyday and technically i did something physical yesterday but im not counting that as exercise. 

the goal was to also tighten up from the first 20 lbs i lost at the end of last year. that goal was not achieved and what i didnt notice before has become blaringly obvious, the cellulite on my thighs. im going to get some firming lotion on that and see how well that helps. 

so today im just going to do some crunches and spend some time with my weights and call it a day. i didn't sleep well last night so i am in no mood for running or pilates...

accountability

one of the best tactics for weight loss is to tell others you are trying to lose weight. they say it holds you accountable not only to yourself, but to your friends, family and co-workers. therefore, i will be using you all to hold me to my promise to work more activity into my day. 

as you may know, i am pretty much a daily poster with this blog. with every post, i will post what i did activity-wise for that day. i can't post on any other topic without this information but i can post only this information. 

wish me luck!!!

*update*

today i did my cardio pilates dvd