swindle

I can't be on top of everything. When stress levels are running high, I'm subseptible (sp) to the okie doke. It's also possible that I knew what I was doing and control of the situation got away from me. It was a combination of the two. Idk. Whatever it was did nothing for my self-esteem because at the end of the day, I'm not expressly proud of what I did or the risk I took with my physical/mental well-being. I could give a hell what anyone else thinks of me. What matters most is that I'm not happy with the result. Would I feel somewhat better if aspects of the situation were different? Sure. But I can't build my dreams on "coulds". - can't expect them to withstand anything any more than I can see clouds as being a solid foundation. Shit is not unicorns and glitter over here.