do not want

i regret telling 2010 to turn the fuck around and walk away. like 2009, i pretty much hate this year but if it hurries up and leaves idk what to do. it's already august. at the end of this month, i have the beginning of the end. it will be my last semester of grad school. in october, i take the exam to be a national certified counselor and in december, i'm done with school. i have no freaking idea where i will be after that. when people ask what i do, i wont be able to say im in grad school. i'll have to be somebody doing something somewhere. and i'll need to figure out where i'll live while doing it. i'll have to be a grown up. there's no manual for this and it seems like the shit just happened for my sister and brothers. like BAM! you're established. actually, seems like it just happened for everyone. like oh, you've graduated? well here's the job you're going to do. when i graduate, i still wont be qualified for any decent job. i'll need two years of experience being supervised doing what i want to be doing but ineligible to get the two years because i dont have the license i'm trying to get by doing the two years. tell me how that makes sense.

so 2010, don't go so fast. i take back what i said. stick around a while.