you never know who's watching

PJD raised a good point. you dont ALWAYS know who's into you or who's paying attention. just because a guy wasn't so rude as to interrupt our meal to talk to me, as others had done to talk to my friends, doesn't mean he had not noticed me. i dont care because i could never get anywhere with a dude who doesnt open his mouth but it's just something to think about.

i mean i have thought about it, just in a different context. im very careful about the number of people i could potentially kirk off on when they cut in front of me in line or bump into me when there's a world of empty sidewalk available so they did not have to come into contact with my person... Why? well, that's because i'm well on my way to becoming a therapist and ANYONE could be my potential client. i can't help someone manage their anger if they recall seeing me flip the fuck out on some fellow metro passenger who sat down and put their luggage they call a purse directly on me like i wasnt ALREADY SITTING THERE. i've learned to get my point across quietly or in best case scenario, silently and non-aggressively in that situation.

there were plenty of times when i was a teenager when people would report having seen me somewhere. felt they had to share with my mom what they saw me doing. nothing i'd really get in trouble for but my mom would sometimes give me a side-eye. i remember in high school being super oblivious to the point that the assistant principal had to come up and tap me on the shoulder as i made out with my then boyfriend. or that time i was on the train and for whatever reason, there was plenty of space that morning so i didnt have a reason to be hugged up on my boyfriend in such a way and my boyfriend got off but i turned to see that my big cousin was on the train. it was weird seeing as how he wasnt someone i typically bump into. he was ready to kick the dude's ass...so yea, im generally careful about my public behavior unless ive been drinking and then all bets are off.