"grandpa"

"grandpa" is an actual grandpa. i know, GROSS but he's my buddy. we met over a month ago at the bar in Friday's by my job. he sent me a drink and kept looking at me and i was like "who is this old ass man?" i guess he saw that i shared that one drink with my "friend" so he comes over an introduces himself and im like "you have to know how old i am". im talkin shit. cant tell you what and he offers us a shot of whatever we want. i think he's on that bullshit so i say patron which i know was on time $18 in ATL. i need to think of a more expensive shot because that has yet to call any dude's bluff plus i dont know how much it costs here. he gets one from each of us and then for some reason we start taking pics. he asks me to email him the one of the two of us and gives me his business card. i get a text sayin "thanks for the pic" and a couple weeks pass. 

i see him again at the same location. and he wants to know why im acting like i dont know him and im like, "because i dont; not like you called me". we shoot the shit, he buys us more drinks, promises to take me out, and goes to his part time job. yes, he drinks WITH his supervisor before going to work. i find that so funny. anyway it's two more times that i see him before we actually go anywhere. finally, we meet for dinner and it's still early so we go see a movie and it's still sort of early so we went to his place and watch a terrible but somewhat amusing movie. from that night on we've been chill buddies. i went to some birthday party with him for one of his friends' wives, ive been over his house quite a few times and one time he cooked for me, and of course we've been back to the bar together. i found out he was staring at me that first time because i was in "his" seat and that he liked me because he liked my dimples and my hair (my hair was natural then). he's cool or whatever and really nice but he is a grandpa! and not no regular grandpa. he is 43 and his 16-year-opd daughter has a baby. can you say "parenting fail"? he says he had nothing to do with it because she stays with the ex-wife and blah blah blah but my thing is you see her often enough (he's no deadbeat, she just got custody to be an asshole). but whatever. i cant even take his side on anything because i dont know the facts. he claims she cheated and he left. and here is the kicker, this man is not even divorced. he's been separated for 4 years. i was PISSED when he told me that last week. YOU ARE STILL MARRIED, go away. he doesnt consider himself married but i do so we can be friends or whatever but that's it. 

T in DC

finally got up with Ms. T from Tea and Such. still mad her girls flaked on her but whatever. so anyway. after fighting 5 blocks of completely senseless traffic and parking 3 blocks away from our destination. i spot T infront of the worst McDonalds in the city. ok, thats not fair, arguably the one in Adams Morgan or just about any one in DC could be in contention for that but whatever. i stand whole heartedly by the one not too far from my house that one day did not have any FRIES that one time is the worst in MD, but i digress. 

so we're going to Station 9, what i thought was a decent restaurant by day that turned into an upscale lounge by night. at least that was my experience in the past. last time i was there, the restaurant was open and i chilled briefly on the upper level where there was ample seating. this visit, the lower level was cleared out (as best they could with restaurant furniture lining the walls). what was once a 25 and older chill spot became reminiscent of some of the spots i thought i left behind in undergrad (didnt help that there was a strong ATL presence among other non-DC folk). anyway, the drinks were overpriced yet at the same time pretty typical for DC when there are no bar specials (i think ive been spoiled by constantly scoping those out), and the first DJ was the height of wacktivity. the second DJ did decently, however could not compensate for 1.) the lack of...i dont even know what is required to be a good DJ because there really arent many so i dont know what he was lacking but he lacked it BIG TIME and 2.) the age and appearance of almost everyone around me. some people were wearing 80s prom dresses found in the junior's section of Macy's. others were scantilly clad in makeshift outfits that i couldnt even pretend would be cute if they fit. really not my crowd. but enough complaints about the venue. 

we made it work. T is really cool, REALLY funny (in case you somehow did not know that from reading her blog), and pretty. should have taken pics but my camera is just the worst and my phone is new with no memory card so i wouldnt be able to store any pics. i'm sure T will have far more to say than i about this night, along with details of her other adventures on this trip. 

this weekend

friday-

ocean city (beach) w/ my niece

gained a sister-in-law *yay big bro*- finally proposed to his gf

saturday-

chill day over my sis' house: pedi; played a little rockband.

FINALLY met T. i must tell you about that in the next post. 

went to "grandpa's" and fell asleep. have to tell you about him after the T post. 

sunday-

breakfast @ grandpa's

lunch w/ grandpa @ Kobe (hibachi spot)

both MJ concert and the Jacksons at the same time w/ grandpa

it was a good weekend. 

michael

I don't need to add a last name because you already know. The greatest mike ever passed away yesterday and although I'm at the beach I have to acknowledge that. My introduction to music and a pioneer and influence for pretty much any artist out, he will be missed. His reach was cross-cultural and multi-generational. I have fond memories and a major one I'm left with is being called into the family room or my parents' bedroom to watch any and everything featuring that man. I say I'm a solange and other famous people stan but first, I was a real Michael stan. Feel free to leave whatever positive message in the comments. This post may serve as an outlet if you need it. Michael was not Aaliyah's age but I still feel her was "Gone Too Soon". On a lighter note *in ricky bobby voice* "thriller michael is my favorite".

song of the month

Im Goin In- Drake ft. Lil Wayne and Jeezy

LISTEN

lines to live by (j/k. only a little bit, though):

"hello, muthafucka. hey. hi. how ya durn? it's weezy f. baby  come to take a shit and urine on the toilet bowl bitches, pussy ass niggas..."- lil' wayne

"i aint cuttin anybody slices outta my pie"- Drake

"if i said 'i'm goin in', then i muthafuckin meant it...she said 'i seen it all'. i said, 'no you fuckin didnt'"- jeezy

dying to death

remember i told you about some of the upcoming highlights in my uneventful life? scratch one off the list. not going to ohio to see my friend. she had to cancel. completely reasonable circumstances but it SUCKS. i already took off this friday and next monday. i dont have anything to do. i dont wanna go into work. that is completely out of the question. im not gonna cancel happy fun time AND punish myself by having to go to work. F that! it is far too last minute to plan anything reasonably priced and enjoyable. FML.

wait wait wait...small light at the end of tunnel? is that you?: 

T of tea and such will be in town this weekend. meet up? i think so. 

my blog

i do not know what is going on with the appearance of my blog. this is not how it looked a week or so ago. im going to have to either redo it or find a new template. i'll probably just get a new template out of frustration but hopefully it wont come to that. i'll try to get things back to normal next week. dont feel like it right now.

im fine

i know a few of you know i live in DC and i just got an email asking if i was ok. im FINE. i was shocked and saddened by the news because i do know people who live on the Red Line or at least travel on it. i take a bus and i'm rarely on the train unless im going somewhere special. havent been on the red line since like october. so just letting you guys know, im OK! dont be worried if you hear any more train emergencies because it most-likely wasnt me. my condolences to the families of the vicitims and well wishes to the patrons who were injured or shaken up. 

swag surfin'

This beach-y look was super easy.here's what I used (steps to follow):

Eyes
TooFaced shadow insurance
Lorac e/s in "celebutant"
MAC e/s in "bright future"
MAC e/s in "era"
Maybelline collosal mascara

Face
NW45 concealer
Mineralize skinfinish dark
Blot powder

Lips
MAC hello kitty collection lipstick in fresh brewed

1. *optional*Fill brows with coordinating color- I used MAC "smut" e/s and an angled brush
2.*optional*Apply shadow insurance all over lid- this is a primer and it prevents creasing. U can skip if u don't have this problem.
3. Apply "bright future" from the inner lid to the middle lid- this is a vibrant yellow color
4. From the middle to outer lid, apple "celebutant"- this is an aqua blue shade
5. Blend where the two shadows meet to create a gradient hybrid color
6.Apply "era" up to browbone (or another neutral shade close to your skintone)
7. Apply concealer where needed
8. Brush mineralize to blend and serve as foundation
9. Finish with mascara and a nude lip like "fresh brewed"
10. *optional*if you have issues with shine, like me, apply blot powder to your t-zone.

Looks more involved than it really was. Took about 15 min. and only that long because I needs to clean every brush I was picking up and I didn't pull out everything I was going to use prior to starting.

today

the previous post was from last week or something. maybe earlier in the week. i have little concept of time lately. anyway, i got my hair done today: touch up and cut.

still wanna go shorter but baby steps, baby steps...

my braid-out

im no skilled beautician but here is the result of  4 cornrows held with aloe vera gel overnight:

" this is bad, real bad. Michael Jackson"

and he mad, real mad. Joe Jackson. - Kanye West, "Knock You Down"

do not call a man, especially a black man, a 'bitch'. it's like the highest insult. and knowing that, i did it anyway. to me, almost as bad as calling me a 'bitch' is hanging up on me.

i actually have a double standard when it comes to the 'b'-word. don't under any circumstances call me that. i dont call anyone i consider a friend that unless they really piss me off and i dont care about being friends with them anymore. but for strangers and people i'm not close to? it's free-flowing from my lips.

anyway, he hung up on me really for no reason because it wasnt like i was raving and cursing him out. i was calmly explaining my position. then he had the audacity to call me back. i said, "leave me alone" and hung up. he called back again and i said, "bitch, you hung up on me!". was that uncalled for? was i justified?

probably not because he didnt call me a 'bitch' first. i don't know. right or wrong, i sort of feel bad about having said it. i apologized. don't know why. and maybe it's not THAT bad. anyway dont do it unless you know for sure you don't want to be friends with him anymore or you don't want your relationship to be the same.

it's definately taking a risk because i called my ex all kinds of 'bitches' when we were still on speaking terms. however, he called me a 'bitch' on two occassions first. but it solicited absolutely no reaction from him. i'd be like "bitch, shut up" or "bitch, you gay" or "call me back, bitch" and it was nothing.

ugh, and don't hang up on me....

what is it 'bout men?

or rather what is it about me??? i seem to attract the SAME dude. either he is the 40+ divorced man or the 20-something emotionally unavailable character. the over 40 man wants someone to spend time with and make sexual advances toward. the 20-something will act right in the beginning and take you on a couple cheap dates but he's really interested in fleeting romance and hot sweaty nights. i cannot afford emotionally to invest in either type. so where is my 30-something, commitment-ready, mature male? and is there such a person? is there any insight to be offered from someone dating in this age range?

i wonder if i should just keep these two types around to balance each other out. i can cuddle with the old man during the light hours and visit the young fool at night. i can take strolls and do the simple things and catch a movie or dinner with someone's dad and granddad and then club/bar hop with someone's linebrother and former classmate. i really wish i could find someone's fellow congregation member/mentor.

tired of

• you pushing your grown ass kid in stroller...feet all scraping the ground. and it's never a stroller that looks comfortable/supportive. it's always that flimsy shit. if you can walk up to it and strap yourself in, you dont need it!
• the lakers' number of championship wins rising annually
• not having the funds to do the things i really want to do
• not really feeling like we're friends
• the games my parents play
• this dog i specifically said i did not want to be here impacting my life
• feeling restricted by the very thing i chose to do in order to broaden my options

good times

i wish i came up (was a teen/young adult) in a different decade. i think ive narrowed it down to the 70s. i couldnt have done the 60s because i would not be able to deal with King's death and the rioting that insued. the 50s were still too racist for me to handle, as was any time prior. i grew up in the 90s and i love everything about that. being born in the 80s i think i only missed out on the bright colors but i dont miss how they were worn. the fashion was pretty much the worst. the 80s would have been fun for me for about 6 months. 

the 70s were all about that impowerment, enlightenment, peace, etc. i could have gotten down with that. and those 'fros! never was able to get my hair like that but i bet i could have back then. i would have known the right thing to do and my texture wouldnt have been ruined by excessive pressing. i could get with the clothes. ive seen some FIERCE 'fits from that era. and the music! the most beautiful music is from that time. i probably have just as many songs from the 70s in my itunes as i have from all the other decades since. 

one of my gripes about the 70s is that the guys were just too skinny. dont know if i could get with that. outside of that, cant think of too much i wouldnt like. the 70s would have been alright with me. this was before the HIV/AIDS epidemic. this was prior to crack being big. weed probably wasnt even laced with a whole bunch of other trash. seems like time a lot less complicated than today. 

life is so blah

i've been feeling like T has been feeling (as evidenced by her post today) for a while now. where's the love? what happened to my regular comments? guess im boring folks. not surprised, im boring myself. cant promise anything interesting is to come. let me tell you what's on deck. 

1. trip to Columbus, OH - *boring* nothing to do there but my favorite spelman sister is there for med school. gotta go see the love of my life. 

2. weekend at VA beach- *yawn* everyone has been there, done that. ive never been. it's just a hop, skip and a jump away so nothing too exciting. 

3. summer session begins- *death* it's school. how exciting could that be?

4. maybe e.badu in concert-HOLLA! love her but that is a HUGE maybe so very unlikely... FML

i'm not a laker fan

today's FOTD was inspired by Celly at La Dolce Vita. her favorite shadow is vibrant grape, a mac pro shadow turned limited edition feature of "style warrior" collection. i like it, too. i dont have many of the shadows she has but i have similar colors so i decided to share with you my creation:

-eyes-you know it's mostly mac unless otherwise stated

bright future e/s (lid)

flip e/s (over bright future)

star violet e/s (crease)

vibrant grape e/s (deepen crease/lower lid)

era e/s (highlight)

shore leave e/s (inner corner)

maybelline pulse perfection mascara

-face-

studio fix fluid foundation in NC50

blot powder in dark

NARS blush in orgasm

-lips- 

idk, yet. i will probably do star nova l/g which is a pearly purple. 

AND, i need to put some eyeliner on...

peace

i'm feeling so at peace right now. i'm not mad at him anymore. im not mad at any "he". i dont hope bad things happen to any of them (did you read my post on things that should happen to those who have wronged me?). i guess if i were still in a vengeful mood, i'd add spending 24+ hours with both heidi and spencer OR 1 week with the entire Hells cast (i know, the show is called "the hills"). i don't know for sure what i can attribute this newfound peace to. i hope it's not just one of my passing moods and i'll feel like crap again in a couple of days. i really hope it has something to do with the praying i've been doing lately. the past two days, ive been praying. and not just for myself; selfish prayer gets so monotonous and boring. and i really dont think God likes wish lists. 

currently reading

Just a brief update on my summer reading. I'm on book two of my goal of five. I'm reading "what looks like crazy on an ordinary day" by pearl cleage. I've been meaning to read work by my spelman sister since 2007 when she visited to read from her latest work "mad at miles" a book about domestic violence. Ill keep this brief since its a mobile post. Keep the novel suggestions coming, please.

song of the month

fire- babyface and des'ree

i dont even recall finishing Hav Plenty. i know i started watching it, lost interest, regained minimal interest at some point when this song came on and kept it moving. but i never forgot this song, just forgot to download it until a couple of weeks ago. and now, it's the song of the month. 

and what ever happened to des'ree's deep sultry-voiced self?

answer these questions, ok?

no incentive, no tags. just wanna know these random things. 

if you were a dog, what breed would you be?

why or why dont you tweet?

what is your alcoholic beverage of choice?

if you were to get married what time of year and what colors?

what about this blog do you like?

guilty pleasures: a mobile post

With me joining twitter and becoming addicted to the CRACKberry, I haven't been posting often. I'm also too lazy to go upstairs and get my macbook. I want to know about your guilty pleasures? Last year I spoke breifly about the current state of hip-hop/r&b and my guilty pleasure music but let's discuss television.

I like watching trash tv aka reality shows. I tuned in to bravo, vh1, and mtv. Here's why:

1. Unlimited side-eye moments (i.e real housewives, pick any one)
2. So much ceiling eyes/apathy (i.e. the hills)
3.Physical comedy (i.e. the duel, I love money, that show I can't think of the name of on network tv w/ the obstacle courses)
4. I don't have to think AT ALL

What do you watch and why?

Tagged by Bloggal

Bloggal tagged me so im going to do this survey:


What's your current obsession?
none currently. im kinda over MAC makeup

What's your must have fashion need?
i shop way too much. cant think of a single thing. i have all the wardrobe staples and a few extras.
What are you wearing right now?
jeans, grey beater, yellow cardigan, black flip-flops. i made no attempt to match today but i still

What's your favorite food?
everything that's making me fat

What do you do for fun?
movies, shopping, bars, random events

What made today special?
the fact that i woke up. i dont like today. hoping for better luck 2morrow.

What would you like to learn to do?
play piano, sing

What's the last thing you bought?
starbucks

What are you listening/watching right now?
nothing

What's your favorite weather?
spring-like weather

What's your one goal in life?
to genuinely put myself first and be ok with it

What do you think of the person that tagged you?
unique and interesting


If you can have a house totally paid for, what would it look like?
i have no idea. i wouldnt really have neighbors though. needs to be spaced out in the suburbs.


What would you like to have in your hands right now?
i dont know but id like a nice man in my arms.


If you can swap lives with anyone in the world for one day who would it be and why?
someone on their way to a beautiful, safe country

If you can go anywhere in the world for the next hour where would you go?
just an hour? a spa


What language would you like to learn?
spanish

What do you look for in a friend?
sincerity

Who do you want to meet in person?
im over people. celebrity-hood wont mean their any better than the regulars i already know

What's your favorite type of music?
probably r&b but i listen to more than just that

What's your dream job?
not actually working at all but somehow being paid

Do you admire anyone's style?
anyone who isnt trying to follow a mold and impress anyone yet it's still appealing

Describe your personal style?
i lack it completely. i get dressed on a whim and im not at all innovative with my looks. such a follower

What's your favorite t.v show?
project runway, cant wait til it comes back!

What's your favorite dessert?
cheesecake

What is the most inappropriate tattoo location?
face

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
america but id visit anywhere

What's you fondest childhood memory?
christmas mornings

What would you do w/a major lottery winning?
the responsible thing first and then frivolous spending

What could someone do to make you never want to deal with them again?

Rules:
1.)Respond: answer the questions on your blog.

2.)Replace one question that you dislike with a question of your own invention, add one more question of your own.

3.)Tag eight other people
Yummy 411
Brittany
PJD
Brown Girl Gumbo
T
Wiz
PBW
Jaimie