Highlights: February 2011

• Auto Show. this has been on my list of things i want to do and it made it to my "do it now" list. DONE.

• Bartending Class. groupon and the bartending school came through and i was able to schedule and attend a bartending intro class. another "do it now" = done.

• Chop Chop. i FINALLY cut my hair. had been toying with this idea for at least 2 years. i have a pic up on my other blog in case you're curious. link is in the sidebar.

• Money. i got my first paycheck from my first full-time, permanent job. i also got my rebate from Verizon for my Droid.

February is a short month and I spent most of it training for my job. Looking forward to fun/excitement in March. *crosses fingers*. What's new for you? What's on the horizon?

limited engagement

my boo on lease aka country que aka army is leaving :(

that's right. i have the sads over a guy. big surprise. this is his last weekend and im taking it kinda hard. i was supposed to hang out with him wednesday and then the commute from hell occurred. he claims we were supposed to go to the movies tonight. i vaguely recall throwing the idea out there and him not giving a definite response. im not feeling well tonight. i cancelled happy hour plans and id actually feel bad if i opted to chill with him after i told my friend i didnt want to attend this party.

im really feeling some kind of way because he said he was gonna go check out this jazz spot near his hotel. you dont know this but i had made reservations to go to a different jazz spot with morehouse dude and he flaked on me, i cancelled the reservations, only to have him call a little while later talking about could we still go out. ive been wanting to check out that little spot country que is going to but i dont have anyone to go with. my person to go with is going alone tonight and will be leaving next weekend. you are probably reading this like "get up and go meet that boy at the club, stupid!"

i would agree with you but im really not feeling like going out after that 8 hour ordeal on wed. idk why i havent fully recovered yet. i also dont feel like i should put that much energy into someone who wont be here and isnt interested in a relationship right now.

he would be the only guy who i'd accept not wanting a relationship but being in my face right now. he's nice and respectful, he has a legit reason for now wanting anything serious (very recently divorced and moves around a lot), and he's in the area for a very short time and doesnt know many people.

*sigh* it's all fun and games until someone has to go back where they came from.

*update*

he cant go to the jazz spot. still sexy that he wanted to.

i got a job offer...

...and it only cost me 3 interviews and an 8 hour trek in the snow for what's normally a 30 minute (at most) drive.

i went for round 3, yes, round 3 of the interview process for a job. you would think they were paying a salary that didnt end in "per hour" and was approriate for someone holding a masters. *shrug*. if you are familiar with the area, the job is near tyson's mall in VA and about 25 minutes in no traffic from my house. it was raining when i arrived, sleeting before i joined the staff meeting, and when i left my car was covered in snow. my mom and I figured it would be best to go to my sister's house b/c she lives in VA and really not far from that mall.

several down trees, abandoned vehicles, snow/ice, and one spin out later, i got to my sister's house safe and sound. it actually took me 8 hours and 15 minutes to pull into my sister's driveway. many thanks to the stranger who i let drive my car for a few feet to get me unstuck (do NOT tell my mom i did that). thanks to the other guy who shoveled me out. thanks to the assclown who decided to jump another car but in doing so blocked the entire lane right in front of me right as the light was changing o_O. ALSO thank you to anyone who insisted upon driving in marked lanes instead of the tracks laid out by heavier vehicles and wanting to do the posted speed limit instead of what was prudent for the conditions riding on my ass then speeding past and spinning out. proud of you...the people i appreciate most were those who threw on hazards and stopped in the middle of the highway to knock snow off when they didnt really have visibility issues AND the people who abandoned their cars in the middle of the lane. my favorite is whomever thought it was helpful to honk at the poor woman who was stuck as obvious efforts by others were being made to free her.

sincere thanks to country que for staying on the phone with me (like he really had anything else to do) and distracting me inadvertantly during the scariest part of the home stretch. how did we get on that topic? i told him stuff i dont really tell people anymore.

anyway, i have training the month of february and i start in march.

DIN: Update

Here's my Do It Now update:

1. bartending class- that groupon was the first BS groupon i have experienced. the process was ignorant. i think i wasted my credits because they are really bullshittin right now. they sent an email saying they'd be glad to credit my account if i was no longer interested. i expressed such and they giving me some run around.
2. cruise- ive been wanting to go on a cruise since undergrad. im finally doing it. it's my 25th birthday celebration. i got my sister to do it now since the arrangements were made on her CC. now to simply pay her back. (that's annoying. why didnt they let us pay on more than one credit card?)
3. auto show- ive had this on the brain since that issue of essence where they said it was a place to meet men. that's not why im going but i do see it as a fringe benefit if it happens. well, i dont know because country que said he wanted to go so i grabbed him a groupon, too. doesnt mean he can necessarily go when i go so hope is still alive that i might meet a nice guy while im scoping out the sexiness of some vehicle im never gonna buy.

my week, like you care

this week is another week full of interviews. i have one every day except friday. i still have the crisis hotline to do. so far, ive made time to visit a random church, see country que, update my beauty blog, apply to more jobs, get a new phone (droid), and try cakelove. everyone was right, their cupcakes are nasty and i wont be back and they dont deserve a review. i return to temping at the church (friday) and saturday is my last day at the Kennedy Center before my hiatus. i took off until may so i can figure my life out and have my saturdays back. oh, and im still on my read the bible in a year plan.

ma'am

has anyone called you "ma'am"? i mean a complete stranger. whenever some person refers to me as "ma'am", im reminded of this:

Grace: And I was in Bloomingdale's this morning waiting on line to buy wrinkle cream, and this Jennifer-Love-Sarah-Michelle-Felicity-looking thing...bumps into me and says, "Excuse me...Ma'am." (SOBBING.)

this line from will & grace just naturally pops into my head. im not a fan. there is one person who i'm ok with calling me this: country que aka army. i guess it sounds appropriate coming from him. i really dont know.

this has been a tipsy blog from yours truly.

maybe you're not so bad afterall

i was none too fond of 2010 and i wasnt really looking forward to 2011 (you know me and odd numbers). BUT im actually surprised at 2011. im doing more of the things i want to do and getting back into going out more period. the best thing about this year is actually interviewing for jobs in my field. ive been on two interviews this week. by the time this posts, i will have sat for three interviews. i got a call for a second interview at the place i interviewed at on Tuesday *fingers crossed*. so that's what this week in january has been like for me. full of interviews. here's what ive been doing/have done this week:

• talking to "country que" aka "army"
• applying to jobs
• interviewing for jobs
• blogging :)
• tweeting
• ensuring that im cleared for graduation (i am)
• working on the crisis hotline
• seeing a show at the kennedy center (shear madness)
• restaurant week meals (ruth's chris is a no-go since interviews bumped it. 2/3 aint bad)

what did your week look like?

real quick

me: what are you looking for?

him: nothing.

me: well, i'm something. so...bye!

think about it. no, no. just think about it.

Restaurant Week Round 1: Capital Grille

T came to town on business, part 3 of T&A (part 1 in DC and part 2 in Chi). we dined at Capital Grille (her pick) which was across the street from where the POTUS and First Lady decided to dine Monday night (1/17). they selected The Source by Wolfgang Puck. was that a restaurant week participant? if so, how thrifty of you, Mr. Obama! i doubt it. anyway!

i've only done restaurant week for lunch so i was pleasantly surprised at the dinner offerings. plus, our server complimented our meal with some creamed spinach, gratis. i dont like creamed spinach but it was a nice gesture. for course 1, i selected field greens and tomatoes while T chose the clam chowder. we both opted for filet mignon for course two (we had our choice of salmon or lamb instead). dessert was key lime pie for me and berries and cream for her. forgot to snap picks of the actual food. i took a pic of the menu but how is that really helpful?

everything (except the spinach, which was free so so what) was delicious. i took my key lime pie to go and even a few hours later, i enjoyed it. T did an add-on and ordered lobster mashed potatoes (not on the menu but was our server's suggestion, he was FAB). that came home with me as well. hopefully, it's not too late to grab this good deal. maybe they will be like other spots and extend their restaurant week menu. otherwise, expect to drop $43 on the steak alone versus $35.11 plus tax and gratuity for all 3 courses.

Capital Grille, 601 Pennsylvania Ave

$20 Amazon Gift Card

you know I am a fan of Groupon but the other site I love is livingsocial.com. I wanted to share today's deal with you, so here is my unique referral code.

Pay just $10 for a $20 Amazon Gift Card.

readers know best! (cupcake war winner announced)

you guys leave me some food for thought in the comments. when it cam to my cupcake quest, reader mrstdj was right: crumbs cupcakes IS the best in the area. @ 3.25 a pop, these generously sized cupcakes satisfy any sweet tooth. they offer unique variations but i stuck with a classic: vanilla with chocolate frosting. the cake is dense but not muffin-y. the icing, was a creamy pudding topping. there was vanilla pudding INSIDE. i'm in love! if you are ever around metro center, you would be remiss if you did not visit this cute little bakery. right across the street from H&M and Forever 21, this is the sugar rush you'll need to sift through the racks and spot some good bargains. visit their website for all the unique varieties: www.crumbs.com

endure it

coping skills. that is the name of the game. you know im looking for full-time employment and the only positions giving me the time of day are those i dont believe i'd be successful at and i will extremely stress trying to do. mix that in with my living situation and you have the perfect recipe for mental/emotional breakdown. say i get offered a position at one of these places. i am really going to have to figure out how to survive it.

that's where coping skills come into play. i need things i can do to de-stress: exciting activities to look forward to. vacation days. made up/federal holidays. WEEKENDS will mean everything to me. what are some things you do when day-to-day life feels unbearable?

that has nothing to do w/ me

saying stuff like "one day you will..." or "when you finally do..." is futile. what the hell do i care about your future if you're in my past and i can't/won't be a part of your present? and just how do you know when he/she "wakes up" and "realizes" whatever that you won't be around? what makes you the authority on the capacity of his or her intelligence? they may never recognize a damn thing. and honestly, if they dont see you as you think they should see you how in the hell are they the one for you anyway? also, what makes you so great? you're probably not as good as you think you are if so many people need convincing.

this has been me dumping on both our self esteems. yea, ive said that shit before. to tell the truth, ive fallen for that line. what i've learned is that is about the dumbest shit. just about as dumb as saying "you'll never find someone like me again". again, so what?! i dont want you, why would i want another one of that defective shit. and furthermore, i PROBABLY will find another one of you tired ass motherfuckers. i do not know why im cursing this much in one post. im not even mad. *shrug*

DC restaurant week is coming...

next week is restaurant week and your resident fatty is partaking in 3 (count 'em, THREE) meals next week. i ALMOST indulged in 4 b/c i got an invite to reconnect with some former coworkers but i decided to pass. my waistline and wallet thank me.

here is the schedule:

Monday- Capital Grille

Thursday- Filomena

Friday- Ruth's Chris

obviously, RC will not get ANOTHER post dedicated to it but i do hope to fill you in on the other two spots. me thinks i'll make it a point to bring my new camera along so you all can share in the good times. the last time i tried to upload pics on blogger, blogger would have none of it so i may have to do some problem-solving. til next post/week, remember to "do it now!"

i see you

just a quick post to let you know: i read every comment (sometimes twice). with comment moderation, i get asked to approve each comment via email. emails go to my blackberry and depending on how it wants to be, i can approve them immediately. if not, i have to wait til i get back to me computer.

with all that said, though i may not reply to every single comment, i see them and they are appreciated. thanks!

even more do it now

still on my 2011 "do it now" thing. a thing i've thought about from time to time has been bartending. groupon has a deal going and i still have quite a few credits in my account so why not? it's a bartending school ive seen and looked into before. it's not a long-term commitment. just 1 day (4 hours) and it would be something nice to try. i signed on for just $30 (credits so it's free). if you're in the DMV and you wanna get in on this, here's my referral link! *crosses fingers for 22 more people to buy so the deal is on*

on your side

which side of the bed is "your" side?

i sleep on whichever side is closest to the door in my own bed. in hotels and other people's beds, i sleep furthest from the door. no reason. just happens. after all these years im wondering why it is that i dont sleep right in the middle. who am i saving that whole other side for? i have a bunch of pillows so they go over there. they wind up on the floor anyway so why won't i put them there and be in the middle? things that make you go "hmm".

this has been me being random. goodnight.

bitch, im great. bye!

that's what im on today. i cant speak for tomorrow or later this week but come the fuck on. guys can continue to act like im just some anything ass broad out here if they want to. they dont have to recognize my worth. i feel like if someone like me isnt what they value, they dont deserve me anyway.

of course, it's easier said than done and it's a lonely road to travel but it has to be done. besides, remember yesterday's post? he AINT all that, ok?

it makes just as little sense for me to treat a guy as more than he's worth as it does when he treats me as less than im worth. if there ever was a "stop yourself" moment, this would be it. i need to stop myself.

i need to catch myself and then stop myself from:

1. settling
2. negative thoughts
3. selling myself short
4. accepting less than i desire
5. making excuses for sorry niggas
6. placing more value on others than respect they've shown me
7. putting others' needs/wants before my own
8. worrying

if anyone has tips/thoughts on this, do let me know.

this might seem like a man-bashing post but i really just feel like dudes and i have an ongoing difference of opinion and i allow what they think of me to hurt me. since when does someone's opinion of me need to effect me in any way? it should never and im disappointed in myself for allowing it to happen for so long.

what you dont have

i hate a nigga to say shit like "i dont think i can date anyone until i have x,y, and z together" and THEN get shit together and be like "where was everybody when i didnt have nothing?" i almost hope future me is around just to be like "ahem, i wanted your weak ass. but i guess that doesn't count because you clearly didnt want me. glad to know for sure now." but i wont be.

i find it perfectly understandable to want to get your ducks in a row before you add someone else to the picture. i still see you prioritizing horribly so im inclined to believe that you're just not interested in me. and that's fine but just say so.

i dont know what my problem is needing to wait and hear it. it's like i want someone to be mean to me when they really arent trying to. seems like they like me enough not to try and hurt my feelings but no more than that.

it's now time for me to just let go off what i dont have. sure, we can be friends but we need to be the kind of friends me and my male bff are. if we go do something, i have to just pay for myself. the tough part will be putting aside those feelings of attraction. i think the feeling of stupidity that comes with liking someone who doesnt like you back will help with that. i do not love feeling dumb as the fuck. and that's just how i feel. *sigh*

best experience of my life!

on new year's day, i took my entertainment into my own hands and purchased two new games for the wii i got for christmas. i picked up def jam rapstar and the michael jackson experience. speaking of the latter, I. LOVE. THIS. GAME!!

if you are familiar with Just Dance, it's the same concept: the object is to match the moves of the on-screen character. for most songs, it's just mike but they have some duets and obviously songs like "thriller" involve multiple background dancers. each song has a rating of either "easy", "medium", "hard" or "inhuman" (ex. "thriller", dancing as michael). you earn star ratings for your performance as a result of points you racked up for achieving the moves. each move earns you a rating of "x" (you missed the mark), "ok", "good", "perfect". for someone who is as rhythm challenged as myself, ive been averaging 3 stars on all the songs. i get quite a few perfects but mostly goods and oks.

my favorite song by him in real life and to dance to is "dirty diana". probably b/c this one is rated as easy and i have 4 stars on it. i like "the girl is mine". honestly, i love just about everything on there.

do you have this game? what other games do you have for wii?

what's the matter with you?

what kinds of dates have you been on? what types of outings do you have with friends? someone out there is having fun.

all my people wanna do is have house parties, go to the bar/club, or eat; maybe SOMETIMES they wanna do movies. prime example: guy asks me out this weekend but doesnt know where he wants to go. that's no necessarily a problem, yet. what's a problem is when i offer a plethora of suggestions met with minimal enthusiasm. who wouldnt wanna go ice skating, laser tag, dave and busters? ok, maybe someone wouldnt and i dont blame anyone not interested in the gun range but i threw that out there, too. what ideas were thrown back to me? the equivalent of 0 because ESPN zone is pretty much the same as dave and busters but it's closed.

i really do not care what this dude picks to do with me; i just want him to pick. i'd rather not just "go get food". i feel like ive indicated enough of my interests for him to come up with something. i had a brief convo with a guy and vaguely mentioned an interest in baseball/softball. where did he take me out? the batting cages. nothing came of that dude but he got mad points for that. i have explicitly told this guy what i like and i get invites to grab dinner all informal -like and to come over because he's bored. i dont mean to complain but, this cant be all there is for me.

am i being too hard on the guy or are folks unimaginative these days? is this a real-life "he's just not that into you"? what the fuck gives?

resources and support

never underestimate the power of sharing goals with people. one the one hand, no, you shouldn't put all your cards face up. but it can be benificial to share some stuff. i shared my intentions of getting through the bible and my friend put me on to a BB app to assist with acheiving that goal. i went to youversion.com/download on my phone and downloaded the app. they have the app for iphone and other devices so i'm passing on the info to you. you can set up your plan how you wish and get the Word right on your phone. yup, get you some spiritual food in between your raunchy tweets. GO!

Highlights: January 2011

• Restaurant Week. monday: dinner w/ T and co. at Capital Grille. thursday: lunch at Filomena in Georgetown.

• New Job (part-time). was able to work from home for the entire month :)


• New Games for Wii. michael jackson experience and def jam rapstar

• TJ Maxx/Marshalls Gift Card. won from twitter. i got a kenneth cole coat and a DDF skincare product

• $900 in Make Up For Ever cosmetics. won from @temptalia via twitter

• New Job (full-time). after consecutive interviews for two weeks, i got a full-time job offer. im quitting two of my 3 part-time jobs and cutting back on the above mentioned job.

• Country Que. my limited engagement boo thang. showed me that genuine, nice guys do still exist.

how was your January?

i'll keep that in mind

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

at the end of last year we agreed to take a break from all things related to the opposite sex. well, not so much agreed as i made an statement and no one publicly objected. so with this new year comes a new post about my failed missions.

via text this dude was like "look, i like you but i dont love you yet..."

what do you think prompted this string of words making up a sentence? obviously not ME saying the words "i love you" or some ignorant such thing. if you thought that's what happened, i want you to look back up at your address bar and recognize which blog you're reading. what really happened is i requested, of course not in so many words, some "cake" from this guy.

to his defense, this was probably highly confusing b/c i come off as one who isnt into all that lovey dovey shit. i could understand if no one could ever picture me as a "no, you hang up" girl. but if i like you, i will be like that and i want you to be that way towards me. probably not ALL THE TIME but i want it.

so my question is have things changed? do you have to be IN love with someone to show them love?

im not asking old boy to fall in love with me. i would be scared if he did. i just wanted him to act like he liked me. when he said that to me, i was just done. i couldnt imagine proceeding from that. maybe some communication would have been helpful but honestly, i just felt this wasnt what either of us wanted. i feel like by the time i fall in love with someone, i wouldnt want that cutesy shit. i thought the whole point of being cutesy and corny was because that's all you have because you dont know much about each other.

the other thing that got me was when he said something like hit him when im ready to have an adult relationship. ok...adults show affection to the person theyre seeing, dont they?

maybe im wrong. idk. i just felt like my presence in his life was a take it or leave it sort of thing. im not saying i needed to be central in his life. im saying, attention should have been paid. effort should have been placed in cultivating something with me. how can you be aware of some of my interests and still just offer to take me to "get some food"? im not ungrateful but im a strong proponent of quality time. stop asking me what i like to do if you have no intentions of doing those things with me.

let me know if im strange. i'll simply remember this for the next guy.