i gotta say this

Thursday, October 22, 2009
pjd asked me to do a relationship video but this can't wait. plus i have no relationships to speak of so...yea. here's my rant/vent list for the week:

  1. if you start off with "can i ask you a question?" the answer is: "no thank you"
  2. if you proceed with "can you do me a favor?" the answer is "absolutely not"
  3. then you say "can you put this number in your phone?" uh: "motherfucker, for what?!" (readers should know by now that i dont initiate telephone communication with males)
  4. you need to properly introduce yourself to me like a respectable adult or i will not respect you
  5. if i dont respect you, there is nothing more to discuss *kanye shrug*
  6. do you watch 30 rock? well if you approach me with shades on and do not remove them to start talking, "that's a deal-breaker!"
  7. if i'm standing at the bus stop, dont offer me a ride. i have a car. if it was economically and logistically feasible, i'd drive where im going. i dont need a ride from you so i can be cut up in some filthy basement and never heard from again.
  8. your line is "you're too pretty to be on public transportation"? really? only ugly people should take the bus? that is mostly true but unless you're providing transportation for the rest of my life, that line is bullshit. and if you're able to do that, what the fuck do you do all day? good day, sir.
  9. i pose this question to the world still: what the hell is the honking of the horn for? AND you almost ran into the back of that car ahead of you so..."pay attention puhlease"
  10. a date is not sitting in your dirty apartment...and don't ask me where i want to go for the first date. you asked for my time. further, the movies is not a date. i know as much about you in those 2 hours as i know about the fat, bald guy in the back row. thanks for the flick and the icee, though!

*bonus* on a first date, don't rattle off all the qualities you want in a woman and the reasons your last few attempts at a relationship failed. i'm bored and i hate your life. not a good way to kick things off.

5 thought(s):

Product Junkie Diva said...

I HATEEEEEE when guys honk car horns or offer a ride etc. #7 is totally on point. Also I hate it when I'm walking on the sidewalk and a guy is slowly driving along yelling things out of the window like..."can we just talk for a moment?", "what's your name sweetheart?", "I'm just trying to get to know you" KICK ROCKS sir, I am so not interested. Oh Ok ok this grinds my gears too...when i am CROSSING the street and a guy driving, slows down to talk but he isnt allowing me to get out of the street and cars start coming in the oposite direction....I'm ready to punch a guy at that point.
LOL @ kanye shrug
Yes if you are talking to me, shades must be removed!
Or in a work environment, please don't use the job to set appointments when clearly you just want to hang- i don't have time for that sir.
Thanks for this post...lol

T said...

ooh, you know I have commentary.

7. There is NO good way to holla at someone at a bus stop. I was thinking don't stop and try to holla, and turn around without offering me a ride, but yeah, the vision of being cut up by a crazy is vivid in my head now, so it's a lose-lose.

8. Newsflash: pretty people and ugly people do the same stuff. This is just as bad as "Why doesn't a pretty girl like you have a man" Dufaces!

Bonus: PREACH! TABERNACLE! CHUUCH! SYNAGOGUE!!! That is the absolute gospel right there.

Don said...

rolling on the floor laughing @ no.6, and I had no ideal you cursed.


Phyllis Bourne said...

2. "I don't do favors." <-- my mom

And she means that shit!

9. I saw a bumper sticker on a pick-up last week that read, "Go ahead and honk. I'm reloading."

Cracked me up.

antithesis said...

@ phyllis- i saw that same bumper sticker a few weeks ago

@ don- yea, hun. i curse like a sailor. ask T about me.