are you fat?

Friday, July 25, 2008
don't get on a scale and get a number to answer this question. apparently, it depends on how well-liked you are. an anonymous high school student i work with said while speaking to me"that fat bitch..." this and "her fat ass" that and i guess i made a face because she followed up with, "but you are not fat". it's funny to me that calling someone fat has become more of a derogatory term than a subjective description. i am not in denial, i am aware of my girth. i also tend to be self-conscious about it which is probably why i inadvertently made a face. me and my face-making is another post for another day (wow, that get's me in so much trouble. it's bad enough i have a smart mouth that i can't control). so, anyway, do your actions determine how people see you physically? can the girl not see that i am overweight because she is blinded by the fact that she likes me as a counselor? will that change if i were to get on her "bad side"? or will i perpetually be a normal-sized individual and will she pick another "flaw" to disparage?

6 thought(s):

Product Junkie Diva said...

GIrl you are bringing it with the posts.
I think it depends in part on what a person considers to be "fat". I have seen situations where one person will describe a woman as fat and another person will describe the same individual as thick etc.(and to that person thick is in no way another word for fat). So a person's background and their views on weight will determine what registers as fat in their heads.
Also I do think if a person really likes you they may not focus in on size as much as they would if the person didn't like you. The young lady you mentioned may be so accustomed to describing people in that way and then when she saw your expression she didn't want you to take offense because either she does like you or she doesn't think you are fat (or a combination of the two). By the way you are not fat diva.Come on people don't just read the post weigh in (no pun intended) I want to see what everyone has to say....
thanks for this post
Product Junkie Diva

Mrs Count said...

Well first off I haven't seen you other than the pretty head shot, but PJD said you aren't fat and if she said it then it's the truth. But the young lady probably never even thought of your weight before you made that face. I was friends with my best friend for years and didn't notice she was very overweight until my mom pointed out to me.
That high school girl probably never would have thought anything about your weight. Now that she sees it can get a reaction from you if one day she does "not like you" she may try to use it, but not because she means it, because she knows it will hurt.

Don said...


I think that's the only way to sum it up. They speak what they have been heard to speak, so now they also use it as a defense mechanism. Eventually they will learn - it doesn't work.

T said...

The thing is people have made fat into a bad word. It's subjective, but it can also be proven. For example, someone with a BMI that's higher that XX is "fat." But someone with a low BMI, who wears their clothes wrong my look fat. A skinny girl with a big butt and big breasts may look fat.

It's bananas.

I will say that I've been looking at people's clothes or they're style and I'll say "she's so cute," without even seeing the girl's face. Then I correct myself and say, I mean her outfit is cute or her style is cute.

And there are people who I think are fat when I first meet them, then after a little bit I find myself saying, oh she's a big girl or large or some other word that isn't fat (because fat is derogatory and mean).

Great post!

T said...

"their style"

Que.PK.iDD said...

OK so growing up in a family of diabetics where only 4 of us (ages 26, 22, 16, and 13) are NOT overweight, I've always felt that "fat" is a state of mind, or a lifestyle. While my dad's 2 sisters are overweight, you will NEVER hear me call them fat because they do not live a "fat" lifestlye. They wear clothes that fit them well according to their shapes; clothes that COMPLIMENT their weight as oppose to ACCENT it (I hope that makes sense).

On the other hand, my 16 yr old cousin (Size 4...the thinnest thing is the family), I call her fat all the time because she EATS like there is no tomorrow and food makes her SO excited. FAT!

In addition, I agree with T. I am currently between a size 10 and size 12. I can wear the right size 12 and look thick, but if I squeeze my behind in a size 10 that is too tight in the waist, it will give me this huge muffin top roll that hangs over my belt buckle when I sit down, and wearing a fitted t-shirt with it, I'll look fatter than that thang.

That's just my opinion.