more on my non-boyfriend

Tuesday, January 12, 2010
initially, my non-boyfriend was cool. we were in that early "get-to-know-you" phase and i had no idea why i was getting to know him. i had no intentions of becoming anyone's girlfriend and definitely not his. no offense to him, but he's no one i plan to marry. i guess that statement would hold more weight if i had any intention of getting married in general. i had decided that i wasnt even going to date because i dont wanna get married so what's the point. changed my mind on that, clearly.

what changed my mind was im human and from time to time i do wanna do #hoeshit. my non-boyfriend appeared to be a good candidate for hoe shit. i just would have to be super careful since he has a confirmed ability to successfully impregnate people. worse of all, it's not even like he makes boys which is what i want if i were to have a kid. so we're good b/c im on the pill and we use condoms (YAY for safe sex!). should there be a mini antithesis announced, the announcement will be concurrent with that of a pending lawsuit for trojan and my BC.

turns out we barely get along if we're not doing sexy times. we can go eat and be fine. we can go to the movies and do ok. but once we extend our time together beyond that small window, we are bickering. what do we fight about? any and everything. mostly semantics. most of our fights are over the phone if i go what he sees as too long without seeing him. i'll try to remember to transcribe the arguments for your entertainment (T) but i spend such a long time not caring or listening i cant be sure i remember. mostly, they go like this:

him: fussing about something stupid
me: i got another call, i'll call you back
him: motherfucka u lyin. that's how you goin?
me: i dont give a hell enough to lie about something like that
him: what the FUCK you mean? that's fucked up....
me: *starts to interupt*
him: SHUT UP!
me: *hangs up*
him: calling back 5-20 times (20 times is the record b/c i really was on the other line).

basically, my non-bf and i are both emotionally unstable and that shit erupts in unpretty ways. however, not to justify it because it's completely unhealthy, we do have a lot of fun together too. *there may be more to come*

2 thought(s):

Product Junkie Diva said...

Girllllll I'm not wishing anything on you that you don't want, but I have a friend who said she NEVER wanted to get married- she is now happily married ....#justsaying.
However, if you continue seeing the nonbf I hope you both have more positive exchanges than negative.
I like hearing about nonbf by the

T said...

YES!!! Finally, a transcription.

"him: motherfucka u lyin. that's how you goin?"

AHAHAHAHAAHAH. I am laughing so loud and so hard and I'll be chuckling all day thinking about this.

P.S. Everyone I know with a bf or husband spends a great deal of time bickering OR a great deal of time holding her tongue so she won't have to bicker. I'm not in a place to do either of those things, so I be like *Gucci voice* "on the next one."